Championship Celluloid

Films watched in Jan 2012

2012-01-28T14:22:00.001-08:00

The Artist - 5 stars
Shame + satellite Q&A - 5 stars
The Artist - 5 stars
The Iron Lady - 2 stars
War Horse - 2 stars
Margin Call - 3 stars
Haywire - 1 star
Goon - 4 stars
The Artist - 5 stars
W./E. - 1 star
The Sitter - 1 star
Coriolanus - 2 stars
The Descendants - 3 stars
J. Edgar - 1 star
Underworld Awakening - 1 star
Margaret - 4 stars
Like Crazy - 3 stars
The Grey - 2 stars

Total number of films watched in Jan - 18

The Championship Celluloid Awards aka Alternative Oscar Nominations

2012-01-24T14:59:00.001-08:00

Below are my own personal list of how I would have voted for the BAFTAs, Oscars, etc.
Note that these are my own opinions and based on the films that I've seen in the past year. The notable absence of award favourites Christopher Plummer and A Separation is simply down to the fact that I haven't seen them so therefore not eligible.

Best Picture
The Artist
Drive
Midnight In Paris
Shame
Warrior

Best British Film
Kill List
Shame
Submarine
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Weekend

Best Director
Tomas Alfredson (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy)
Michel Hazanavicius (The Artist)
Steve McQueen (Shame)
Nicolas Winding Refn (Drive)
Martin Scorsese (Hugo)

Best Actor
Jean Dujardin (The Artist)
Michael Fassbender (Shame)
Joseph Gordon-Levitt (50/50)
Ryan Gosling (Drive)
Andy Serkis (Rise of the Planet of the Apes)

Best Actress
Olivia Colman (Tyrannosaur)
Rooney Mara (The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo)
Anna Paquin (Margaret)
Meryl Streep (The Iron Lady)
Michelle Williams (My Week With Marilyn)

Best Supporting Actor
Benedict Cumberbatch (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy)
Alan Rickman (Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 2)
The Rock (Fast and Furious 5)
Corey Stall (Midnight In Paris)

Best Supporting Actress
Jessica Chastain (The Help)
Marion Cotillard (Midnight In Paris)
Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids)
Carey Mulligan (Shame)
Vanessa Redgrave (Coriolanus)

Best Original Screenplay
50/50
The Artist
Margaret
Midnight In Paris
Shame

Best Adapted Screenplay
Drive
Moneyball
The Skin I Live In
Submarine
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Best Cinematography
The Artist
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
Shame
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Tree Of Life

Best Original Score
The Artist
Drive
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Best Visual Effects
Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes

Best Documentary
Senna

Best Animated Film
Rango

Best Foreign Language Film
I Saw The Devil
Little White Lies
The Skin I Live In

Best Newcomer
Jessica Chastain
Tom Cullen
Tom Hiddleston

I'll pick my winners just before the Oscars.

Shame - review

2012-01-05T12:27:00.000-08:00

Brandon is a handsome thirtysomething working in New York in an unspecified job with a fancy apartment. On the outside it seems he has everything, but in fact it is all a mask that he projects to cover up some deep seeded issues.

From that brief description you could say that Brandon has a lot in common with another cinematic/literary character... Patrick Bateman.
In American Psycho, Bateman mask of sanity covered up psychotic tendencies and the film/book was a vicious attack on the materialism of the Eighties.
Shame's protaganist Brandon's obsession though isn't murder but sex. Which if recent reports and television shows are to be believed is becoming an increasingly common, serious and relevant addiction.
Whether it is hiring escorts, a one night stand, online sex forums, magazines, dvds or downloading gigabytes of pornography onto his office computer or masturbating in the shower, Brandon does everything to keep his sexual urges at bay.
However the carefully constructed wall he has built up to shield himself from any form of outside connection comes tumbling down with the unexpected arrival of his sister Sissy, who has her own set of problems.
Steve McQueen (not that one) has crafted a truly haunting piece of cinema that holds a mirror up to Brandon (and in some respects the audience). It is an incredibly beautiful film to look at, (his shot construction and framing is impeccable, whether it is a tracking shot following Brandon jogging along 31st Street or an unmoving camera capturing an argument that suddenly exposes a tear on Sissy's face), but there is also a coldness and detachment to it that never allows the sexual imagery to become erotic or titillating. It provides us with no feeling of joy in the same way that Brandon can never achieve, no matter how hard and consistently he tries.

Fassbender bares all as Brandon (both metaphorically and literally) and it would be fair to say that from the evidence of the opening scene, Michael certainly has nothing to be, ahem, ashamed of. He plays it very internalised to begin with, as Christopher Walken says in True Romance "a game of show and tell. You don't want to show me nothing but you're telling me everything", but as cracks appear in his mask we get a tear here, a violent outburst there, until his whole world unravels during a flashback sequence over the night's events.
Sure it might not have those grand-standing, scenery chewing moments that Oscar loves so much but it is certainly the most compelling, bravest performance of the year.

Fassbender's acting is elevated by having the sublime Carey Mulligan to bounce off. I think it is fair to say that when we are first introduced to Sissy, Carey has come a long way from Sally Sparrow in Blink (still my all time favourite Doctor Who episode). From their initial encounter when Brandon finds Sissy in his apartment, it is clear this is not your normal brother/sister relationship. There is a troubled history between them but McQueen and screenwriter Abi Morgan wisely leave the details up to the audience's imagination.
Like recent sports dramas The Fighter and Warrior, Shame manages to transcend its genre origins to become more than just "the sex addiction movie" by having a gripping family drama at its core.
Sissy is the yin to Brandon's yang (and the win to his wang). Where Brandon is a very internal person, Sissy wears her emotions on her sleeve. She is a poster girl for the neurotic, needy and vunerable, perfectly illustrated by her long haunting rendition of New York, New York in a trendy bar.
At one point Brandon attempts to have a normal relationship with a woman at his work but via an uncomfortable dinner date and hotel tryst, it is doomed to fail. Brandon's redemption however may in fact lie in repairing his relationship with Sissy, but is he too far down the path to self destruction?
Shame is not a film that seeks to provide the audience with any easy answers. It is a challenging, thought provoking and stunning piece of cinema that will haunt you for days and will require multiple ~~orgasms~~ viewings, and there is certainly no shame in that!
5 stars

The Artist - review

2011-12-18T04:16:00.000-08:00

There's an old saying in Hollywood, that they "don't make 'em like that anymore". Thankfully it seems that they do. It's name is The Artist and it is absolutely glorious.

I was initially taken aback but upon reflection, in a year where audiences have been inundated with sequels, prequels and the diminishing returns of 3D, it turns out to be no surprise that the best film of 2011 is a black and white, silent film celebrating a bygone era of Hollywood.
Just like one of my other favourite films of this year, Midnight In Paris, it is a nostalgic look at the "Golden Age" of the twenties. The Artist blends together elements of Singin' In The Rain, A Star Is Born and Sunset Boulevard to tell the story of George Valentin (Jean Dujardin), one of the biggest stars of silent movies who loses everything (wife, house, fortune) when he refuses to participate in the 'gimmicky fad' that is the talking picture, instead forced to watch the meteoric rise of his one-time protege and true love Peppy Miller (Berenice Bejo).
It has been filmed as a 1920's silent film (shot in 1:33 ratio, black and white, dialogue cards, iris fades and wipes) but where some directors might have gone for the old grainy celluloid look, it was wisely filmed in digital producing one of the best looking black and white movies ever, matched in beauty by a sumptuous musical score by Ludovic Bource which helps to narrate the story and strengthen the emotional beats (just as the live musical accompianment would have done in cinemas during the performance).
Michel Hazanvicius has crafted a loving tribute to the silent era but is not afraid of defying conventions resulting in one of the most startling and memorable scenes of the year. It is an absolute delight and involves a glass and a table. It doesn't sound like much but trust me, it is.
There is always a danger that this type of project could fall into the realms of spoof or pastiche but the performances of the central duo Dujardin and Bejo prevent that, providing the film with a generous abundance of heart.

Dujardin pitches his performance just right. He never resorts to the "shameless mugging" that silent stars were accussed of, instead finding the right balance of old school movie star charisma that slowly crumbles away to reveal the sad, broken man inside, able to switch between comedy and tragedy with ease. One of his most delightful moments is when he "gets into character" before filming.
Bejo I imagine, like her character Peppy in the film, is destined for great things in Hollywood. She radiates star quality and lights up the screen whenever she appears.
Together they have a tangible winning chemistry that is in abundance during the scene where they are filming for the first time. You can see the connection and attraction between them growing, take after take.
What I loved most about The Artist is that whilst it is an homage to the silent movie, it is also a celebration of the power of cinema and it took me on a nostalgic trip down memory lane as to why I fell in love with movies in the first place.

A tap dance reminds me of Gene Kelly, a staircase featured in Blade Runner, a breakfast montage reminiscent of Citizen Kane, Valentin's outfit during a swordfight reminds me of Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride and the use of Bernard Herrmann's Scene D'Amour stirs up thoughts of Hitchcock and Vertigo.
Normally this kind of thing can be distracting. I for one love a good Wilhelm Scream but when it pops up in a film, I am taken out of it for a moment and remember that I'm watching a film.
But with The Artist it is a movie about the movies, a celebration of a medium that can captivate audiences, take them on an emotional rollercoaster, transport them from the dullness of their everyday lives and take them on a magical journey, albeit just for a couple of hours.
And if The Artist wants to wishes to take me on this journey many, many times over the next few years then all I can say is... "With Pleasure".

5 stars

New Year's Eve - review

2011-12-08T09:41:00.000-08:00

I didn't think it was possible for a franchise to be more cynical, jaded and unfunny than the spoof "insert genre" Movies e.g Scary Movie, Epic Movie, etc, but it seems that Garry Marshall is trying his hardest with the Love Actually-inspired ensemble film centred around a public holiday theme because after Valentine's Day, he is bringing us New Year's Eve.
Do you know what the problem with New Year's Eve is, or as us Scots call it Hogmanay? Everybody makes such a big deal about this one particular night, a lot of time and effort go into making these lavish plans and it gets hyped up to such a degree that it normally turns out to be something of a disappointment.
The same goes for this movie which easily grabs the top spot in my Worst Films of 2011 list. A film that is so unfunny and hard-going that it should have been called Slog-manay!
(that bad pun is officially funnier than anything in the film).
To try and sum up the "plot" of the movie, several A-List actors with clearly nothing better to do sign up for 20 minutes of screen time to solve some form of romantic problem whilst people sponsored by Nivea and a giant poster for Sherlock Holmes 2 (also distributed by Warner Bros and released on 16th Dec) worry about a malfunctioning ball in Times Square.
During two turgid hours we get to see the following:

Hilary Swank, in a plotline cut from Boys Don't Cry, spends time worrying about the fact that her balls won't drop.

Michelle Pfieffer get Zac Efron help her cross items off her New Year's Resolution list, the top of which should be to never make a film like this again.

Robert DeNiro plays a man whose career is slowly dying.

Ashton Kutcher, clearly depressed about his upcoming divorce, hates New Year's Eve (just like the audience) and spends the film trapped in a lift with that annoying girl from Glee. Why he hasn't commited suicide by the end of the film is anyone's guess.

This sentimental, schmalz-fest Richard Curtis type affair could really have benefitted from just a touch of his class. I'm not the biggest fan of Love Actually but it had moments of genuine warmth such as Andrew Lincoln silently declaring his love to Keira Knightley via cue cards, or as hilarious as Bill Nighy's ageing rocker Billy Mack. Unfortunately the script is completely bland, tired, cliched and devoid of laughs. I don't think I've ever sat in a screening of a romantic comedy where the entire auditorium sat in stoney silence for the entire duration before having to suffer through Ryan Seacrest telling us about the true meaning of New Year's Eve before the "hilarious" outakes during the end credits rub in the fact that the actors had more fun making the movie than we had watching it.
One can only hope that in the sadly inevitable fact that New Year's Eve makes enough money for yet another holiday related rom-com, it is mash-up with Eli Roth's Thanksgiving and all those responsible for this Christmas Turkey of a film are killed off in a variety of vicious, nasty ways so that we won't have to sit through the likes of this again.

1 star

50/50 - review

2011-11-27T14:00:00.000-08:00

50/50 is a comedy drama about cancer and just like the disease, the film was always going to be a tough "cell". Thankfully however, it succeeds due to a delicate balancing act between comedy and tragedy plus a superb lead performance from Joseph Gordon Levitt.

Partly based on the real-life experiences of writer Will Reiser, the film follows 27 year old radio producer Adam Lerner (Levitt) as he struggles to cope with being diagnosed with a rare form of spinal cancer called Schwannoma Neurofibrosarcoma (or as one cancer patient puts it, "the more syllables, the worse it is"). He is helped/comforted, with varying levels of success by his best friend (Rogen), hysterical mother (Huston), bitchy girlfriend (Howard) and therapist (Kendrick).

Finding the comedy in a tragic situation is always going to be a tricky process, for examples the results could be like the Rent spoof 'Everyone Has AIDS' from Team America, but Reiser, like Chandler Bing, knows that humour can be a great defense mechanism and rather than forcing the characters into situations with "hilarious consequences", the majority of the jokes come from Adam's natural responses to coping with his failing health or his buddy Kyle's attempts to use the Big C to his advantage with the ladies, "Nobody wants to have sex with me, I look like Voldermort".
Reiser's script and calm direction from Jonathan Levine do a terrific job in not letting the comedic moments overshadow the seriousness of the story, so that when Adam's condition worsens, we are emotionally invested in whether he survives or not.
Much of this connection with Adam is the result of a terrific central performance by Joseph Gordon Levitt. Fast becoming one of the best actors of his generation, Levitt makes Adam very down-to-earth and relatable which makes him easy to identify and empathise with. Plus he is the first cinematic character I know of to bite his fingernails which is a habit that I have (and my friend Linny is constantly trying to break me of!). It is a very understated performance, not prone to Oscar-worthy showboating scenes that other actors may have been tempted to do, instead opting to slowly draw you into his plight so that when he breaks down in front of his mother just as he is about to go into surgery, his tears are not the only ones flowing in the cinema.
There is fine support from Seth Rogen as Adam's best friend. Some may complain he is recycling his "schlubbenly, profanity-laden goof" schtick but since he actually helped Reiser through his own cancer struggle, he is essentially playing himself and in my opinion it is the best he's ever been, bringing a warmth and sincerity to the film.
If you were to find fault with the film, the female characters suffer in that the screenplay tends to have them conform slightly to Hollywood stereotypes (bitchy girlfriend, neurotic mother, etc) and the potential romance with the therapist feels a little forced but wisely left largely unconsumated. Also it is a shame that a potentially interesting family dynamic due to the father's alzheimers but nearly every film this year has already used it (by that I mean Friends With Benefits and Love And Other Drugs).
However these are minor quibbles with a moving film with a lot of heart that can deliver an emotional suckerpunch through all the laughs. And that should be congratulated as the odds of finding a film that can successfully make you feel the full range of the emotional spectrum are certainly not as good as 50/50.

4 stars

6 Reasons why The Muppets would rock as Oscar hosts.

2011-11-10T04:45:00.000-08:00

Yesterday one muppet, in the form of Brett Ratner, stepped down as producer of the Academy Awards show following a series of PR disasters on a par with Frankie Cocozza on X Factor. Following his departure, and that of Ratner's choice of host Eddie Murphy, it seems there is an online campaign to get another bunch of Muppets to host Oscar night.

It is a stroke of genius. Everyone loves The Muppets (unlike with Ricky Gervais, celebrities would be happen to have the piss taken by the Muppets), they are current due to having a movie out in the US on Thanksgiving (us in the UK sadly have to wait until Feb), and from their recent hosting duties on WWE Raw showed (part 1 and part 2), they have what it takes to host... and most importantly for the Oscars, they are funny and entertaining.
You can follow its progress on Facebook and Twitter as it continues to gather momentum and popularity, here are my two cents worth on the subject and five reasons why it could be the greatest Oscar night ever.

1) The National Anthem

At the beginning of the broadcast, the stuffy and pompous Sam Eagle could come out and demand the entire audience of A-List celebs stand up and join him in singing the National Anthem as is accustomed at all major sporting events.

2) The Orchestra

Not only would we have Dr Teeth and the Electric Mayhem playing all the music for the evening but celebrities would be quaking in their boots that if they happen to start droning on about thanking their publicist in their acceptance speech, Animal would be quick to jump in and play them off with a mental drum solo!

3) Interviews on the Green Carpet by Beaker

As if the Oscar ceremony isn't long enough, we have to put up with 1-2 hours of cringworthy interviews with celebrities on the red carpet as people we've never heard of ask Natalie Portman what designer she's wearing or how George Clooney feels to be nominated.
The eloquent Beaker would be the perfect person to ask those hard hitting questions we all want to know the answer to, "have you practiced your 'shit I lost, look happy for the other guy face'?" and chat up the attractive female nominees.
His partner in crime, Dr Bunsen Honeydew could also provide a firework and pyrotechnic display to kick things off.

4) Statler and Waldorf

These two loveable curmudgeons would be ideally placed in one of the boxes at the Kodak theatre overlooking the stage to provide their unique brand of saracastic commentary to the proceedings.
"You know what the only thing worse than hosting last year's Oscars... watching it!"

5) The catering backstage and at the after party...

6) Let's face it, they tried to get Kermit and Miss Piggy to host last year!!!

So there you have it. Undeniable proof that having The Muppets host the Oscars is the right thing to do... but if they do need a little human help, look no further than this man...

Meg Ryan was gutted to hear she'd been replaced for When Harry Met Sally Again...

The Adventures Of Tintin - review

2011-10-27T16:58:00.000-07:00

This is the first of several planned Tintin films by Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson and is an amalgamation of three of Herge's stories The Secret of the Unicorn, Red Rackham's Treasure and The Crab with the Golden Claws, but more appropriately it could have been called Tintin And His Attempt To Escape The Uncanny Valley.
There was a lot of debate amongst fans of the books when it was first announced that the film would be produced using motion capture rather than animation. You can understand its purpose when it encorporates otherworldly or non-human characters into live action films (Na'vi, Gollum, Caesar, etc) but when the style is that close to animation, is there any real benefit?
The answer, unfortunately, is not really.
The main benefit of using mo-cap over voice work is that you can use the actor's whole performance and therefore choose actors whole will bring something to the part, but the likes of Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and Jamie Bell are fairly anonymous in their portrayals, adding little more than a star name on the poster.
I don't know if it was Bell's fault, the script or if the character is the same in the comics, but Tintin was almost a non-entity in the film. He's one dimensional as the sketch he is given at the beginning of the film based on Herge's drawing. If you aren't familiar with the comics then the only character development we get as an audience is that he's a reporter (of undetermined age) who has a dog called Snowy. That's it, otherwise he is just there to move the plot from A to B. As adventurer's go, Indiana Jones he is not.

Rather unsurprisingly, the only one to be as three dimensional as the impressive visuals is Captain Archibald Haddock, thanks to being played by the King of Motion Capture, Mr Andy Serkis. Although I can't be the only one who thought Haddock shared more than a passing resemblance to producer Peter Jackson. It may not be as impressive a performance as that of Caesar from ROTPOTA, but Serkis is clearly having a ball as the drunken, boorish Scottish seaman (snigger) who comes to learn that his destiny lies along a different course... but perhaps Serkis was just happy at not having to play Snowy the dog!
Spielberg first became aware of Tintin back in 1982 when film critics compared elements of Raiders of the Lost Ark to the boy reporter's series of adventures, and this film is more in keeping with the tone and feel of Raiders than Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
Exotic locations, missing treasure and artefacts, non-stop action, and of course, a terrific John Williams score. The film excels during some stunning action sequences but it's a shame the script doesn't masure in terms of the vision which is disappointing considering it was written by such talented guys as Moffat, Wright & Cornish.
Spielberg demonstrates why he is one of the best directors of all time with a chase sequence through the port of Bacchar that is done in one complete shot and rivals the truck chase in Raiders or the mine cart chase in Temple of Doom for sheer excitement.
With CGI and motion capture, what can be achieved on screen is only limited by imagination, and Spielberg shows how good he is with Haddock vividly recounting the tale of his grandfather and Pirate Red Rackham as it seamlessly switches between flashback and present day.
If the script and characterisation can match the imagination, passion and vision of messers Spielberg and Jackson, then I'm prepared to give Tintin another shot... as long as the sequel doesn't involve aliens!

3 stars

The Ides Of March - review

2011-10-23T14:39:00.000-07:00

Whilst hardly reinventing the wheel in terms of political thrillers, The Ides of March confirms that the US Presidential race is much more exciting and, well, sexy than our British equivalents.
Of course, it's not that difficult when People's Sexiest Man Alive (1997 and 2006) is directing and co-starring as a smooth, suave Democratic candidate. The best us Brits get is Hugh Grant as Prime Minister in Love Actually.
Man of the moment Ryan Gosling plays Stephen Myers, a junior campaign manager and media guru, who is working with Paul Zara (Hoffman) to get Governor Mike Morris (Clooney) elected as the Democratic candidate in the next Presidential election. He is smooth, slick, has experience on the campaign trail but his youthful cockiness and naiviety could prove his undoing with a beautful young intern (Wood) and rival campaign manager Tom Duffy (Giamatti).

Clooney continues to mature as a director and has delivered an incredibly slick, polished and entertaining thriller which at times feels effortless in its pacing and storytelling. Clooney combines his old school movie star charisma with a movie that brings back echoes of seventies films like All The President's Men. The film is based on Farregut North but one of the most impressive aspects of the production is that it never feels like a play which is a fate that has befallen many other stage adaptations (Closer, Doubt, Glengarry Glen Ross). Clooney's task was made easier by assembling a fantastic ensemble cast including several Oscar winners and nominees Philip Seymour Hoffman, Marisa Tomei, the wonderful Paul Giamatti and Gosling who delivers his fourth fantastic (and different) performance of the year as the wide eyed media man whose belief in the right thing is shattered.
Ides has been accused of lacking depth but I felt the script had a lot of snap, crackle and pop, a surprising amount of humour and there is, what feels like, some thinly veiled criticism of Obama's performance so far as Clooney's Morris describes what kind of candidate he doesn't want to be and his stance on certain policies.
The Ides of March is not only a entertaining night out at the cinema but also perfect for anyone needing to fill the void that was left when The West Wing ended.

4 stars

We Need To Talk About Kevin - review

2011-10-22T10:10:00.000-07:00

We Need To Talk About Kevin is one of the most visually arresting films of the year but unlike films such as Tree of Life and Melancholia which I accused of being "pretentious and style over substance", Kevin is a deeply thought provoking study of the age old debate of "nature versus nurture" as a mother attempts to rebuild her life following a terrible crime perpetrated by her son, and forces herself to look back at her life and figure out if Kevin was born as bad as Damien from The Omen or if his behaviour was ultimately her fault.

Tilda and Kevin nervously waited backstage for their turn to audition for Britain's Got Talent

The film's structure differs from that of the novel, using flashbacks rather than Eva's letters to her ex-husband, but it works due to director Lynne Ramsay's total control over the medium and her use of visuals, sound and storytelling. She allows the audience to put the missing pieces together and draw their own conclusions as who is to blame. Although, and this might sound a tad harsh, I think that if I was raised by Tilda Swinton, I might have turned out a little odd too.
Swinton puts in a fantastic multi-layered performance as the mother of the devil. She appears as a ghost in her own life following the tragedy, searching for an answer to the impossible question "WHY?", and during the flashbacks it is a role that draws similarities to Lee Remick in The Omen, where she is the only one who can see the evil growing inside her own spawn.
Oscar winner Swinton however more than meets her match in the form of the three boys who play Kevin at various stages throughout his adolescence. Ezra Miller has rightly been receiving plaudits for his malevolent dead eyed enigma, but in my own humble opinion, Jaspar Newell who plays Kevin between the ages of 6-8 is just as good. It is a very mature and sinister portrayal for someone so young.
Don't go in expecting any clear cut answers but there is enough going on in this film that when it's all over, you'll be guaranteed to be talking about Kevin.

4 stars

Contagion - review

2011-10-22T09:29:00.000-07:00

Contagion might not strictly be a horror film by definition, but it could be argued that it is infinitely more frightening than the likes of Insidious and Paranormal Activity 3.
Warning, this is not a *spoiler*. Within 15 minutes of Contagion, Gwyneth Paltrow is dead. Dead as disco or Colonel Gaddafi. Turns out she was more crudded up than the monkey from Outbreak and is Ground Zero for a disease that will be responsible for killing over 2.6 million people worldwide. Goes to show what happens when you eat healthily, listen to Coldplay and call your children silly names like Apple!
Driven by another terrific electronic score by Cliff Martinez (also responsible for the Drive soundtrack), the first 30 minutes of this film are the worst nightmare for someone with OCD. Soderbergh tracks the path of the virus as it travels across the world as those infected dip their hands into that bowl of communal nuts at the bar or touch elevator buttons or door handles before convulsing and foaming at the mouth like a tweenager at a Justin Bieber concert.
Just as Jude Law's ridiculously annoying, and possibly Australian (I couldn't really decide from his accent), blogger attempts to get rich by claiming a homeopathic remedy is the cure to the disease, I wouldn't be surprised if Soderbergh and the producers have shares in hand sanitizer, because sales are going to go through the roof following screenings of this film!
As the outbreak spreads, the Centre for Disease Control (CDC) and World Health Organisation try to deal with the pandemic, controlling the spread of the disease and finding a possible cure. Cue lots of scenes like this...

The CDC and WHO are the good guys fighting an unseen enemy in this old school disaster movie that features a fantastic cast (Cotillard, Damon, Fishburne, Winslet), and as he proves with Oscar winner Paltrow kicking the bucket so soon, the disease does not care about awards or celebrity status when claiming victims. The gloves are literally and preverbally off, but not for the protaginists... due to health and safety fears, it is best to keep the latex gloves on!
As the authorities begin to get a handle on how to deal with the MEN-1 virus, the focus shifts slightly to hint that our fellow man can be just as dangerous as society threatens to break down due to the pressures of trying to survive. At one point Fishburne's head of CDC tells Law's blogger that his panic causing lies and misinformation are just as damaging as the virus. Law is also told that "blogging is writing. It's graffiti with punctuation" but I'm sure Elliot Gould was talking about this site when he said it.
By having a large ensemble cast with multiple plot threads, it is inevitable that like the virus, some strains of the film are stronger than others. Winslet and Damon make the most out of their parts, Law is on screen too much for my liking and unfortunately the wonderful Marion Cotillard gets lost in the mix and misses out on a suitable payoff to her storyline.
Overall the film, like the virus, loses momentum once a vaccine has been found. Perhaps there is a reason why most films of this nature end quickly after the virus is defeated, here we get some sense of the fallout and after effects, but it does answer the question of what happened to Jennifer Ehle after Pride & Prejudice all those years ago. Turns out she was working at the CDC.
Soderbergh almost manages to end it on a nice moment with Damon, his daughter and a digital camera which provides a clue as to the cause of the outbreak, which is then ruined by showing exactly what happened, as if to bludgeon home the point to stupid viewers who can't work things out for themselves.
Hopefully this won't be indicitive of Soderbergh's career if the rumours of his retirement prove to be correct.
If he does retire, I'm sure he'll be happy sleeping on a bed made of money gained from the profits of rocketing sales of hand sanitizer.

3 stars

Paranormal Activity 3 - review

2011-10-22T07:28:00.000-07:00

Having taking over from the Saw films to become the new annual Horror franchise, another October sees the release of another Paranormal Activity.
I was very high on the first installment, calling it one of the "scariest films of the decade", which I felt breathed a bit of new life into the tired "found footage" format thanks to its concept (a young couple Katie and Micha set up a video camera at night to capture evidence of strange goings ons in the night) and execution by being genuinely creepy and unsettling,
The sequel, which I only watched last week, was a prequel which focused on Katie's sister Kristy's family and the misfortunes that befall them. It went for very similar scares and suffered by having Katie and Micah appear which created massive continuity problems such as why Katie & Micah never mention that the stuff happening to them is very similar to what was happening at her sisters!
Throughout both 1 & 2, Katie and Kristy refer to a spirit and events from their childhood, and the third film focuses on this time period (because very conveniently someone was around to document everything on video again).

Warning - sequence not in final film. Something a Detroit woman would probably sue over!

After that introductory waffle, let's get straight to the point. Paranormal Activity 3 is a film that you will probably start to pick Stay Puft Marshmallow Man-size holes in the moment you leave the cinema... but whilst you are in the cinema, the film is very effective and creating a sense of unease and delivers the requisite chills and scares necessary to thrill and satisfy the horror masses.
One of the characteristics of the "found footage" film like The Blair Witch Project, Troll Hunter and the original Paranormal Activity, is that someone has used video evidence to try and piece together what happened to the people involved. Obviously it goes without saying that the majority of "found footage" films do not have a happy ending. Yet this threequel starts and stops without any explanation to the context of the footage, apart from briefly recycling footage from the second film that indicates that several videotapes that Katie had were stolen from Kristy's house. This creates the implausible scenario that if somebody stole them to prevent people seeing them, why has someone edited them together Blair Witch style?!
However I am digressing slightly. Once you get past this issue, the fact that Katie and Kristy's mum just happens to be dating a videographer called Dennis who suffers from Cloverfield syndrome which involves continuously recording even in the face of certain danger, and the impressive picture and sound quality for a video camera manufactured in 1988, then there is much to appreciate here.
Catfish directors Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman are clearly at home in this particular environment, draw great performances from the two girls (particularly from young Jessica Tyler Brown who plays Kristy) and most importantly they understand one of the fundamental basics of horror, antici.............................................................................................................................. pation, as Frank-N-Furter would say.
As evidenced in a packed auditiorium, they know when to hold back, to build the tension to almost unbearable levels and then deliver that sucker punch scare that comes as a welcome release. Every time it came up with a title card reading "night #14" etc, you could feel the audience tense up, waiting for something terrible to happen.
None more so then Dennis sets up a camera on a mechanical room fan which allows it to catch 180 degrees of the house as it slowly rotates back and forth. Everytime it leaves one side of the room, you could feel people grabbing onto their armrests or the person next to them as they expect a shadowy figure or evil entity to be in frame when the camera returns. It provides several of the films best scares as well as a couple of great laughs too.
The ending perhaps strays too close in the territory of other films of this genre like Blair Witch or The Last Exorcism but it delivers enough shock factor that the average horror fan will still enjoy it. I would just advise against trying out "Bloody Mary" when you get home from the cinema though!

3 stars

The Help - review

2011-10-19T14:53:00.000-07:00

I'm sure I have heard and read about several actresses complaining that there are "no good roles for actresses these days", that is either the romantic lead or the frumpy best friend, and sometimes the two are not mutually exclusive.

But after seeing The Help, I can conclude that these actresses must not have read the script for it, auditioned for it, or seen the finished product, as there at least 8 well written and strong female characters in it.
It is the estrogenic counterpoint to Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, which was criticised in some quarters for not having many female characters in it (the same now goes for Tintin too), as The Help features only a handful of male roles in it. Somewhat ironically then, you could argue that the biggest role, a love interest for Emma Stone's character, feels tacked on and unnecessary and if cut out, could have improved the film if not just the overlong running time.
Some people out there will be quick to label this tale of a young white woman interviewing black maids in the Deep South of the USA for a tell-all expose during the early sixties as "an issue movie" and move on. Yes, it deals with the touchy subject of Civil Rights, but this is certainly not Crash. That Oscar winning yet incredibly overrated film repeatedly used a sledgehammer to reinforce its point that "Everybody is a little bit racist" over the course of two hours when Avenue Q did it in less than four minutes.
The Help was not actually based on a true story, as I initially though, but it does have an authenticity to it and yet it is hard to believe the attitudes and behaviour of some people back then. The ignorant racism that was rampant back then is still shocking (although due to the 12A rating it shies away from the more physical brutality that many face) and is given a face in the form of Hilly Holbrook (played with relish by Bryce Dallas Howard). She is like a Stepford Wife programmed by the KKK.
The film is smart enough not to become too preachy and presents a balanced side to the argument, so we get supportive white characters like Skeeter Phelan, played by Emma Stone (my infatuation with Miss Stone continues to grow, almost to the point where I might make a YouTube video confessing my love for her) and white trash Celia Foote (the omnipotent Jessica Chest-ain, who has some excellent underwire work in this movie), and during the maids' testemonials they tell nice stories as well as bad.
Like TTSS, The Help features one of the best ensemble casts this year, full of excellent performances from the likes of Stone, Howard, Chastain, Allison Janney and Octavia Spencer but if you want to place a bet come Oscar season, I would say the smart money will be on Viola Davis to feature highly on many people's voting slips. Her Oscar clip will undoubtably be the scene where she recounts the day her son died. Very moving and is a pivotal moment in the story.
The tagline for the film is "Change begins with a whisper", but I'm shouting it loud so all can hear... get yourself some Help and get down to the cinema to see one of the best films of the year!

4 stars

Tyrannosaur - review

2011-10-16T14:13:00.000-07:00

It would be easy at this point to pull out phrases like "hard hitting" and "a film that pull no punches" but that would be in incredibly poor taste because Tyrannosaur is a film where one of the main themes is domestic violence, so I won't.
But make no mistake, this new film by actor-turned-director Paddy Considine, can be very hard to watch, and stomach, due to some unflinching violence, both physical and verbal.

Joseph (Peter Mullan) is not a nice guy, by his own admission. He drinks, gambles, fights and alienates everyone around him. One day he stumbles into a charity shop run by Hannah (Olivia Colman). She offers to pray for his soul and he writes her off as a God-loving goodie-two-shoes but Hannah is hiding a secret. She's the victim of horrific domestic abuse from husband James (Eddie Marsan, cornering the UK market on playing absolute creeps).

Much has been made of Olivia Colman and she deserves all the praise and accolades she gets. Primarily known for comedic work as Sophie on Peep Show, she shows a completely different side to her and delivers a completely raw and devastating performance. One scene in particular that stands out is when James is apologising for hitting her and she is telling him she forgives him but her face is telling a different story, a mixture of hate for him and herself for allowing it to happen.
Mullan is also terrific as Joseph, a simmering volcano of rage that could erupt at anytime and on anyone whether that be his dog, a neighbour or random down the pub, and pitches it just right that he doesn't alienate the audience completely and draws them into his plight, trying to turn his life around and keep his temper at bay and Hannah may be his solution.
It seems that British actors who turn to directing are drawn to the theme of domestic violence, see Gary Oldman's Nil By Mouth, and in addition to drawing terrific performances from his actors, Considine also wrote the script (which is good except for a slightly clumsy final segment which ties up one of the plot threads) and has crafted an affecting film from grim subject matter but has injected plenty of heart and even a dash of humour that helps to alleviate the risk of the film descending into pure misery porn.
Don't be surprised to hear someone call out Paddy Considine's name when announcing the winner of the Best First Feature at next year's BAFTAs.

4 stars

Footloose - review

2011-10-16T07:21:00.000-07:00

Remakes are a tricky subject. Their announcements are normally met with screams of "WHY?!" from the die hard fans and the results can range from surprisingly good (The Departed, Ocean's Eleven, Dawn Of The Dead, The Ring), perfectly adequate (Let Me In, The Karate Kid), unintentionally hilarious (The Wicker Man), to downright awful (Psycho).
In an attempt to capitalise on the Hollywood trend for remaking 80's movies and the dance movie craze, a remake of Footloose was greenlit, but its journey to the big screen was filled with more wrong steps than an Anne Widdecome routine on Strictly Come Dancing. Various delays, the loss of first choice director Kenny Ortega and lead Zac Efron and uninspiring footage at Empire Big Screen that could have come from any Step Up film and I was more than ready to stick a size 7 cuban heel into the final product.
One of the first popular films in the modern dance genre was You Got Served, and it is fair to say that Footloose served me up a huge slice of humble pie because it is actually a surprisingly good and incredibly enjoyable film. The troubled remake was "Holding Out For A Hero" and they got two in the form of director Craig Brewer and Kevin Bacon replacement Kenny Wormald, "Let's hear it for the boys!".
It is always a risk when remaking a film to stick so close to the original source material, but Brewer is skilled and respectful enough to know what works but put his own spin on it.

The film begins with a party where the partygoers (mainly just shots of their shoes a la the original) are dancing around to Kenny Loggins' classic song. Immediately my foot is tapping away and a smile is creeping across my face. A group of kids get in their car and are drive home whilst singing along, the song is approaching its climax when BAM, they are hit by a truck!
This accident sets up what still remains Footloose's ridiculous central concept, that a small town bans any form of public dancing by minors. I still don't know what is more stupid; the ban or the fact that despite a ban on dancing, when they finally do get to dance everyone is seemingly at a world class standard that they can do all sorts of flips and spins, etc!
Cue the arrival of Ren McCormack (Wormald) who is viewed by the small town locals as a rebel, because he wears a tie and sunglasses, and will battle Reverend Moore (Quaid) over the dancing ban and his daughter Ariel. Wormald might not have the depth of Bacon (even he couldn't make the punch dance scene seem serious), but he has the appropriate level of cockiness and swagger to pull off the role and is very competent at the dancing.
You can argue that statement can also be used to describe the entire film. It is certainly not a deep, meaningful film but it never claims to be. It just wants to have fun and has it in spades. Backed up with solid performances (top marks to Miles Teller as the "can't dance, won't dance" Willard), loving references to the original (VW Beetle, burgundy tuxedo jacket, etc), and terrific, energetic dance routines, Footloose is a perfect film to kick off your Sunday shoes at.

3.5 stars

Real Steel - review

2011-10-16T04:27:00.000-07:00

A lot of critics have described it as "Rocky meets Short Circuit", but I would say that Real Steel is closer to "The Champ meets Robot Wars", as inbetween the scenes of giant robots laying the smackdown on each other, director Shawn Levy to graft in a heartwarming family drama about an absentee father gaining redemption in the eyes of his son.
Huh, I was just about to praise Levy for showing some ambition for doing something more than the family blockbuster fare like Night At The Museum, but thinking about it, both films do seem to have a similar plot thread.
If Real Steel was one of the robots featured in the film, it would be Noisy Boy. It looks great on the outside but it is a bit long in the tooth and if you pick apart the insides, it is not as good as it claims to be.
The fight scenes are well designed, shot and choreographed, particularly the final showdown between the the undefeated Zeus and our underdog Atom. And although their is a lesser degree of tension due to the fact that they are CGI robots doing the fighting, a lot of people will probably grow to care for Atom and want him to survive another round or deliver that knockout punch.
At 127 minutes running time, Real Steel feels like it goes the distance and 12 rounds, but not in a good way. The film takes too long to really get going. Do we really need to see Charlie (Jackman) to lose with two different robots in order to see that he is reckless, impulsive, a loser and a bit of a shit? He sells custody of his son Max to get cash for a new bot for crying out loud.
I have mixed opinions on the casting of Jackman in this role. Yes, he plays it well and has the old school movie charisma to pull it off. He does act like a dick at the beginning but softens at the end as required... but he's Hugh Jackman, seemingly one of the nicest guys in Hollywood and therefore will always have the audience on his side. It would have been interesting to see someone with a darker edge playing Charlie, to give the audience some doubt as to whether he can win his son's affections.
By the time Charlie and Max begin to bond while training up Atom, we have already reached the hour mark... and in one of the biggest crimes you can commit during a boxing movie... there is no real training montage , and if Team America taught us anything, it's that you NEED a montage! It would have certainly shaved a few minutes off the running time.
So concerned with trying to develop both sides of the film (robot fighting/family drama), the results are each plot thread feels undercooked. It feels like that one of the editors realised how long the film was and cut a few fights because Atom has one fight in the Robot Boxing League and Max calls out the champ, then one week later, boom, we have our main event championship fight.
In the end, the spectacle wins out over the story with several potentially interesting plot threads discarded over an extra punch or two. I for one would have liked more Evangeline Lilly, explored whether Atom was self aware or not, and the link to the Japanese robot designer (was Atom his design?). All these things are hinted at yet not given the chance to be fully fleshed out, ironic use of words there because if the film went to the judges' scorecards, the robots take a point victory over the humans in this one!

3 stars

P.S. Who would like to see a deleted scene from X-Men where Rogue finds Wolverine in a bar fighting one of the Real Steel robots? With his adamantium claws and skeleton he could do quite well I think. Just one of those random thoughts I had during the screening!

The Three Musketeers - review

2011-10-12T13:55:00.000-07:00

One Direction on the set of their new video

The Three Musketeers, or The Three-D Musketeers as I call it, is the latest film from Paul WS Anderson, the "visionary" director of such cinematic milestones (or should that be millstones) as AvP and Soldier.
Like Resident Evil: Afterlife before it and a fact Anderson likes to shout about in the trailers, Musketeers is "shot in glorious 3D" not post-converted. It is surprisingly non-gimmicky with only a few shots of swords pointing out of the screen yet in spite of this, it still managed to give me a headache after it finished (it didn't help that the first 5 minutes were screened in bright flickering pink, causing me to go off searching for the most of elusive of characters - the multiplex projectionist).
I think it would be fair to say that the screenplay would qualify as being called "based on" Dumas's novel. I don't think there were giant hot air balloon war ships in the Ollie Reid version.
Anderson has made changes/additions to the story because he thinks they look cool, like an overuse of slow-mo that could rival Zack Synder, but they make for some plot holes which are even more logic-defying and dumb than the other recent turkey Abduction.
For example, Mi'Lady de Winter breaks into the Queen's chambers to steal a necklace and finds her path blocked by a maze of invisible razor wire that she must dance her way through. I can understand that it is a detterent to thieves but how is the Queen meant to get to her jewellry on a day to day basis? Impossible!
Then there is the question of how the Musketeers are able to reverse their airship out of the other airship they have crashed into on the top of Notre Dame cathedral?
I would be slightly more forgiving of things like this if the film had been fun but the only comedy was supposed to come from James Corden's servant character Planchet and most of that fell flat. The rest of the characters were too po-faced. Out of the musketeers, only Matthew Macfayden's Athos gets anything close to a back story and character arc, and Logan Lerman's d'Artagnan is a really annoying and cocky little runt. Only Orlando Bloom seemed to enjoying himself, camping it up as the Duke of Buckingham.
The only decent sword fight comes near the beginning where the four musketeers take on the Cardinal's guards, and nothing that follows can match this for entertainment which is an inexcusable crime in an action blockbuster (see also Superman Returns when Supes saves the plane). The action was so tame I actually spent a lot of time wondering why the so-called musketeers spent so much time using swords and not muskets?
One last thing... was it just me or was Anderson trying to showhorn in references to The Princess Bride by having a horse called Buttercup and Athos riffing on the "anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something line"? Just me?

1 star

Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark - review

2011-10-10T13:42:00.000-07:00

"Guillermo Del Toro presents", a tag that has presided over such quality films as The Orphanage and Julia's Eyes, so Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark has a lot to live up to.
Somewhat ironically, I think it is far to say that I wasn't afraid of DBAOTD, but I was still reasonably entertained by it.

After an effectively creepy opening sequence (teeth + chisel + sound fx = squirm), the film follows your standard horror movie template.
8 year-old Sally (Bailee Madison) comes to live with her dad Alex (Guy Pearce), an architect who has sunk his life savings into renovating a creepy old house, with the help of his new girlfriend Kim (Katie Holmes), who Sally takes an instant dislike to. One day Sally finds a secret basement in the house with a sealed up shaft, which of course she opens after being persuaded to by the voices inside who want to be her "friends". She is then terrorised by creepy little imps but her father thinks it is all in her head until Kim does a bit of digging into the history of the house and its previous owners.
Whilst you can see Del Toro's fingerprints all over the film, the final product relies far too much on the tired, overused horror cliches (loud music to signify a big jump, poor decision making, "oh it's only the old groundskeeper", etc). In fact the biggest shock for UK cinemagoers of a certain age will come near the end of the film when Mike and Jim from Neightbours share the screen together for the first time in 20+ years!

Sitting watching this in the cinema, I couldn't help but think that all of it could have been avoided if the protaganists simply followed the instructions laid out in Edgar Wright's terrific trailer for "Don't"...

3 stars

The Lion King 3D - review

2011-10-09T03:39:00.000-07:00

Normally I try to avoid going to the cinema when it is full of a) annoying teenagers and b) screaming kids, (hence why I like going to The Belmont!) but it was always going to be a near impossibility when going to watch a Disney film on a Saturday afternoon at the local multiplex!

Luckily when the film you are watching is as good as The Lion King, you can (nearly) put young children singing or kicking the back of your seat to the back of your mind for 90 minutes and enjoy an animated classic on the big screen.
Bamlet TM (Bambi meets Hamlet) was one of the last great classic animated films before the dawn of the Pixar age and Disney resorted to churning out straight to video sequels.
It has everything that makes Disney films such perfect family entertainment. Compelling story, colourful and memorable characters, a few jokes for the adults and some classic songs. Lion King would arguably have the best soundtrack of any Disney film and while the kids were singing along all the time, I could see a few adults (myself included) trying to stop themselves joining in to Circle Of Life or Hakuna Matata. Personally though, my favourite song in the film is Be Prepared. I love a good villain and Jeremy Irons does a snarlingly good job as Scar.
However since everyone is pretty much aware of how great the film is, the purpose of yesterdays visit was to evaluate the 3D conversion. And the verdict? If the opening Circle Of Life sequence is anything to go by, I wouldn't bang the final nail into the 3D coffin just yet. It showed how 3D can be used effectively to create depth and gravitas without having to resort to cheap tricks and didn't cause the usual headaches that 3D can sometimes bring when done poorly.
Back to the age-old argument though. Did having 3D improve the film? No... but it certainly didn't spoil it either and that is a vast improvement on some of the conversions I have seen in the last couple of years.
I am interested in reading Charles Gant's weekly UK box office round-up on Tuesday to see how well the re-release does this weekend - it topped the US box office a couple of weeks ago.
It could lead to studios claiming that 3D isn't dead and rushing to convert their entire back catalogue into 3D. Disney are already in the process of doing this in fact.
But I feel that it's success lies in a much simpler answer. People just want to watch good films. With Hollywood seemingly content on churning out an endless series of sequels, remakes, reboots, comic book movies, etc, is it any wonder that people are embracing the chance to see a really good film on the big screen, even if that film was made 15-20 years ago?
Last year Universal re-released new digital prints of Psycho and Back To The Future. This year we get Jurassic Park, The Lion King, Ghostbusters and Amelie back on the big screen, and in 2012 Titanic is re-released in 3D.
Similar to the "golden age" thinking that the main character in Midnight In Paris suffers from (see my review), perhaps modern audiences are so disheartened with the current state of Hollywood that they are nostalgic for the past when cinema was great.
It is something to think about... but that doesn't mean that studios should look to re-release EVERYTHING they have ever made, that might be a spot of overkill!

4 stars

Midnight In Paris - review

2011-10-08T16:26:00.000-07:00

2011 has been a great year for cinema so far in terms of producing quality films and a full range of emotional responses in this film geek. I've LOL'd (Bridesmaids), I've been brought to tears for the first time (Warrior), been shellshocked (Kill List, The Skin I Live In) and now Midnight In Paris has the honour of being the first film this year to leave me with a warm, fuzzy feeling inside.

Woody Allen is one of the most prolific filmmakers of all time. He produces a film every film - take that Terrence Malick - but with such a high turnover rate, there is bound to be some quality issues from time to time. Critics are always hoping to be able to tag each new Woody Allen film as "a return to form", like they are desperate for him to deliver another Manhattan. But Woody has left Manhattan behind and is in the middle of his Eurotrip that has included London (not successful), Barcelona (mildly successful), and now Paris (c'est tres bon!).
One of the criticisms thrown at Woody during his stay in London was that he shot a tourist's version of London, where everything seemed to be set at the Gherkin or other easily identifiable landmarks. In Paris, he seems to be giving a nod and a wink to his critics by starting off the movie with a snapshot of a tourist's view of Paris (Louvre, Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, etc. It's very accurate, I've been there and they were my immediate impressions of it), but once this is finished he quickly gets down to business and focuses on telling us an utterly charming and funny story.
Gil Pender (Owen Wilson), a Hollywood screenwriter who dreams of writing a "proper novel" who joins his fiancee Inez (Rachel McAdams) in tagging along with her condescending parents on a business trip to Paris. Enamoured by the vibe and the culture, Gil decides to walk the streets of Paris at night alone instead of hanging around with Inez's insufferable know-it-all lecturer Paul (a wonderful Michael Sheen), and hitching a lift in a vintage car Gil ends up partying the night away with F. Scott Fitzgerald, Cole Porter and Ernest Hemingway... wait, that can't be right, can it?
Yes it can actually, because Midnight In Paris is Allen's love letter to the "Golden Age" of Paris and uses a fantastical time travel mechanism to transport Gil back to the roaring twenties where the creative and cultural elite descended upon Gay Paree.
Owen Wilson, once again doing an excellent job at portraying Owen Wilson, proves to be a natural fit for the Allen role and helps to sell the central concept with his charm and enthusiasm, so much that we don't care whether it is real or just in Gil's head.
This "Moveable Feast", as Hemingway called it, is filled with some delightful cameos; Adrien Brody is delightfully nutty as "Da-Lee", a relatively unknown (to me at least) Corey Stall is terrific as Hemingway and Marion Cotillard, the most beautiful creature to have ever graced the silver screen, is utterly beguiling as Picasso's lover and Gil's potential muse Adriana. I myself would question returning to the present if it meant getting to stay with Marion.

However there is an underlying message to Allen's screenplay that works on a number of levels.
Gil's novel concerns a man who works in a Nostalgia shop, which Paul critiques as "Nostalgia is denial - denial of the painful present... the name for this denial is golden age thinking - the erroneous notion that a different time period is better than the one ones living in - its a flaw in the romantic imagination of those people who find it difficult to cope with the present."
Gil realises during one of his midnight jaunts Adriana reveals she wishes she could have lived in the era of Belle Epoque and the people there yearn for the Renaissance, and the reality that by living in the past, it will never be enough and Gil is missing out on the present and what possibilities lie in store for him there.
This notion is also true for fans and critics of Woody Allen. They spend so much time going on and on about how great his films were during the late seventies and early eighties, that they could be blinding themselves to the fact that Allen can still produce some terrific films today, and Midnight In Paris is one that can rank up there with the best of his back catalogue.
Just like the opening sequence of Manhattan always makes me want to go to the Big Apple, by the end of Midnight I was ready to book a another trip to Paris and immediately digging out my copy of A Moveable Feast... now who's getting all nostalgic?

5 stars

A Christmas Carol - The real books you should read this Christmas.

2011-10-06T15:42:00.000-07:00

It was "Super Thursday" last week for the bookstores as publishers unveiled over 200 new books all aiming to be under the Christmas tree come December 25th. With only 80 days left to do your Christmas shopping, I have selected six books that every film fan should put on their list to Santa this year.

Oeuvre

by Drew Struzan

An absolutely gorgeous collection of art by one the true masters of poster design. A perfect gift for anyone who grew up with the films of the Eighties or still has love for Indiana Jones and Star Wars. For a more detailed look at why you should buy it, check out The Incredible Suit's blog.

Alien Vault

by Ian Nathan
One of the most in-depth studies of a film ever and an absolute must for Alien or science fiction fans.

Crazy 4 Cult Pop Art
Ultra cool collection of artistic takes on such films as Edward Scissorhands, The Shining and Eraserhead.

If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B-Movie Actor

by Bruce Campbell
An entertaining look at to nearly make it in Hollywood and being loved for making the greatest horror film of all time - Evil Dead 2.

Nerd Do Well

by Simon Pegg

A very funny autobiography by one of the UK's best loved geeks who rather eloquently explains why the prequels ruined Star Wars for my generation.

The Good, The Bad & The Multiplex

by Mark Kermode

Dr K. takes aim at everything that is wrong with the modern cinemagoing experience with a series of honest and hilarious full-on Kermodian rants.

All these books are of course available on Amazon but I would urge you to support your local bookstore (especially Waterstone Union Bridge in Aberdeen) and get them from there!

Top Ten Films of 2011 - End of Third Quarter review

2011-10-04T02:53:00.000-07:00

1. Drive

2. Warrior

3. Black Swan

4. Kill List

5. The Skin I Live In

6. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

7. Submarine

8. Bridesmaids

9. Crazy Stupid Love

10. Rango

What's Your Number? - review

2011-10-03T16:15:00.000-07:00

What's Your Number? Unfortunately for Anna Faris it is worse than her scandalous score of 20, not even as fun as a 69 but instead her latest comedy vehicle is strictly "romantic comedy by numbers".
I saw the trailer for this film last week in front of Crazy, Stupid, Love (incidentally much more romantic and funnier than this movie) and when Faris and Chris Evans have their first angry exchange across the hall, I sarcastically said to my friend "What's the odds they get together?" and then proceeded to correctly predict the punchlines to three jokes.
What starts out as a female take on the High Fidelity storyline of revisiting your exes, quickly throws ambition away to follow the standard rom-com formula. Also, by having yet another rom-com set around a wedding, it draws unfavourable comparisons with the superior Bridesmaids, even recycling a couple of the same jokes.
I'm sure that in other reviews, a lot has been made over the central crux of the story, that Anna Faris's character worries she won't find a husband cause she has slept with 20 men. Cue cries of "Whore", "Slut", etc yet if it the gender was reversed, no big deal. I'm not going to be drawn into debate on sexism in the movies on this blog, my main problem with the number was that by trying to track down so many men, it doesn't leave any of them time to make any kind of lasting impression. Actors like Andy Samberg and Martn Freeman are wasted, and there is a huge build up to the reveal of "the one that got away", so much that I weas expecting a major movie star cameo... but got some actor I'd never seen before, therefore not once placing the final outcome of the film in any doubt.

Chris was devastated to find out The Avengers had already been leaked online.

The central pairing generate some good chemistry and try to wring as many laughs as they can out of the script. Faris is a talented comedienne who can normally work wonders with sub-par material (see The House Bunny) and Evans's stock continues to rise on the back of versatile roles in Sunshine, Scott Pilgrim and Captain America.
It's just a shame that the final film wasn't as the sum of its parts.

2 stars

Abduction - review

2011-10-03T11:48:00.000-07:00

Abduction, or "Ab-duction" would be appropriate thanks to Taylor Lautner's growing McConaughey-esque obsession of taking his shirt off in every film, will undoubtably end up in my Top Ten worst films of the year.
I am coining a phrase in this review, called a "Lau-botomy" which is the cinematic experience of physically feeling your IQ dropping because you are a watching a film so stupid it is making you dumber for having seen it.
I'm all for the odd dumb action movie like Con Air or Fast & Furious 5 but this form of stupid, lazy filmmaking is the exact kind of thing that Empire argued against following audience criticism of their negative review of Transformers 3.
Teenager Nathan Harper (Lautner) feels like a stranger in his own life (and to the profession of acting) and when working on a school assignment with neighbourhood crush Karen, he comes across his picture on a missing person's website. In a flash his life is turned upside down. His "parents are killed" and he is being chased by the CIA and creepy European killers as he tries to uncover his true identity.
Abduction, how terrible are you? Let me count the ways...
Let's start with Taylor "Jac-Abs" Lautner. A young lad who appears to have spent time training at the Joey Tribbiani and Derek Zoolander schools for kids who can't act and do other stuff good.
The photographs below give you an idea of his dramatic range...

"What's my phone number again?"

"Did I leave the gas on?"

"Blue Steel"

"Le Tigre"

"Ferrari"

I can't wait for him to drop Magnum on us...

Then we have Lily Collins who seemed like a nice girl but I was constantly distracted by the two Very Hungry Caterpillars that had taken up residence above her eyes...

The supporting cast that includes Sigourney Weaver and Alfred Molina happily cash their paycheques whilst sleepwalking through the film. In fact, the ONLY entertaining moment of the film, probably unintentionally, was when Jason Isaacs was kicking Lautner's ass. Sad I know, but these talented thespians unfortunately have nothing to work with from a script that has plot holes so big that you could even fit R-Patz's forehead through, and incredulous gaps in logic from the main characters.
At one point Nathan is in his real father's safehouse and finds a stash of money and weapons, things that might be useful when being chased by dangerous criminals, but decides to leave all those and just take a car that can easily be tracked. Oh, and on that point, the CIA have intercepted every phone call you have made, even from public payphones, but you think it is safe for Karen to call her parents from the phone in your dad's safehouse?! Or what about when they are told that a guy called Paul "Macguffin" is one of only two people they can trust? "We have to find Paul" says Nathan... and then this plot thread is promptly dropped from the film, never to be mentioned again.
It is indicitive of lazy filmmaking that when so little effort is put into the script, it reverberates to every other aspect of the production; acting, cinematography, score (plinky, plonky keyboard to hit emotional keynotes), etc to produce such a dull, turgid mess as this.
"Jac-abs" - please stick to Twilight. Hollywood and the makers of Abduction - I'm not expecting every action film to be Inception or Die Hard, but please, pretty please with sugar on top, try harder in future.

1 star

Move over Gosling, Fassbender and Hardy...

2011-10-01T14:36:00.000-07:00

There is a new heartthrob in town!

"F*ck! Seriously?! It's like you're photoshopped"

Melancholia - review

2011-10-01T10:25:00.000-07:00

Thirty seconds into the film there is a shot of Kirsten Dunst's face in slow motion as dead birds fall from the sky. At that point, you could tell it was directed by Lars Von Trier.
After five minutes of opera music and slow motion shots of Dunst and Charlotte Gainsbourg awaiting the end of the world and the title credits of Melancholia appear. At that point it is clear that people will either love or hate this film.
If Melancholia had been 90 minutes long I might have loved it... unfortunately it is 132 minutes long and ended up provoking the same reaction in me as Terrence Malick's Tree of Life earlier this year.
Like football, this film is a game of two halves. It starts promisingly as we witness a wedding self-destruct but unfortunately the film and world ends not with a bang but a long, boring, dull whimper.
Part one focuses on Justine (Kirsten Dunst), Michael (Alexander Sarsgaard) and their wedding reception held at Justine's sister Claire's husband's country hotel. Justine's evening and relationships come crashing down due to her depression and aloofness, to the extent that the wedding planner (Udo Kier) refuses to look at the woman who has ruined his event.
Dunst, who I've never really been a fan of (I hated her as Mary Jane in the Spider-Man trilogy), impresses in the first part of the film but I still have the sneaking suspicion that she won Best Actress at Cannes more for her performance at the infamous "Nazi comment" press conference than this film.
The strained family dynamics and isolated setting evoke memories of Festen, an early Von Trier film that centred around a family get-together destroyed by a dark secret from the past.
There is an immense watchability to the unfolding carnage, similar to the morbid curiosity of watching an unfolding car crash.
I wish the same could be said for the second half which changes focus to Claire (Charlotte Gainsbourg) as she struggles to come to terms with the end of the world as we know it due to the planet Melancholia that is on collision course with Earth.
I can appreciate Von Trier doing his own spin on the end of the world. There is no last minute reprieve, Bruce Willis isn't on hand to blow up the colliding planet. We don't get a worldwide reaction to the impending doom but a personal reflection from the point of view of one family. It is just a shame that Von Trier decided to create such depressing characters to focus on. I couldn't imagine a duller bunch of people to spend the end of the world with. I'd probably kill myself before the planet hit!
One of my problems with this film, was a similar one I had when watching Tree of Life and Inland Empire. Watching both of these films, and Melancholia, I came away with a feeling that it was a terrible case of style over substance, and that word I hate to use when describing arthouse cinema... "pretentious".
Sometimes style over substance can work, Nicolas Winding Refn recently proved this with Drive, but the thing that the three mentioned films have in common is that they seem to be the point that the directors listened to their own hype and did their best to make a "Terrence Malick film", a "David Lynch film" or in this case "a Lars Von Trier film". Full of all the elements that divide audiences but almost to the point of parody.
That is just my opinion though. Will you enjoy Melancholia? Do you love Lars Von Trier films? If the answer is "Yes I do", then you probably will. If the answer is "No, I hate Von Trier films" then this certainly will not change your mind.

2 stars

Warrior - review

2011-09-21T13:14:00.001-07:00

From the trailers and tv spots, it would be easy to assume that Warrior is just another typical sports movie that adheres to every cliche that you find in every instalment of the Rocky or Karate Kid series.
And for 120 minutes you could argue that it does. But by the time we get to the final of the tournament, we are so emotionally invested in the family dynamic and what it means to both men to win that Warrior delivers a knockout emotional sucker punch that may leave grown men weeping in the aisles (myself included).
Warrior centres around the increasingly popular world of MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) and a tournament to determine the best in the world called Sparta (I can't help but feel they missed a trick by not having Gerard Butler involved to welcome people to the fights).
Where this film differentiated itself from the pack is that instead of following one combatant on the road to glory, we are following two... and they're brothers!
Much like The Fighter earlier this year, Warrior uses the sports genre as the backdrop for a story of a family that is torn apart and this tournament just might be the thing to bring them together.
Tommy (Tom Hardy) is a former marine, built like a brick shithouse and complete raging bull with a punch that could knock out an elephant. Brendan (Joel Edgarton) is a former UFC fighter turned family man and teacher. They haven't seen each other in years and both are estranged from their former alcoholic and domestically violent father (Nick Nolte on terrific form), but this tournament sets them on a path to face each other and their issues.
It is not spoiling anything, it's even in the trailer, that the two brothers will meet in the final of the tournament, but it is a testament to the filmmakers that they still manage to bring a level of tension and excitement to the individual fights despite the sense of inevitability, thanks to an authentic, frenetic energy to the camerawork.
Faultless performances from both leads mean that our loyalties are split come the time the bell rings for the final and the outcome of the fight is impossible to call.
To paraphrase the tagline of another epic matchup film, "Whoever wins, we lose... our dignity in the screen. I'm sorry, give me a minute, I have something in my eye".

5 stars

Drive - review

2011-09-21T10:25:00.001-07:00

Drive premiered at the Cannes Film Festival back in May where it was met with near universal acclaim and won the Best Director award for Nicolas Winding Refn. Since then it has been touted by many critics as their "Film Of The Year".
I always worry when films receive such a high volume of praise, because it is then difficult for them to live up to such lofty expectations (The Guard springs to mind here)... but I am delighted to inform you that Drive is one of those rare occasions where you can believe the hype. It is quite possibly the film of the year and definitely the coolest, leaving all other contenders in its dust.
Originally planned to be in the same vein as Fast & Furious, thankfully when Gosling and Refn came on board they decided not to betray the source material's pulp fiction roots and have crafted a thriller that is lean, mean, fast and as cool as a (insert appropriate car here).
Man crush of the moment Ryan Gosling is the unnamed Driver of the film. Whether it is doing stunts for movies, acting as a getaway driver or just driving around at night, that he who he is. No more, no less. His character can be likened to The Man With No Name in the Leone films. It is a very underplayed performance by Gosling, he has minimal dialogue, preferring to let his face and body language tell the story, and his grey satin jacket with a scorpion motif will be as iconic as Eastwood's hat and poncho. You can imagine him arriving town, taking down a score or helping a damsel in distress before riding off into the sunset, but in this case he doesn't use a horse but a Dodge Cavalier instead.
I think it was Godard who said "all you need to tell a story is a girl and a gun" and this is true for Drive... if you substitute "gun" for "claw hammer", fast becoming 2011's weapon of choice (see also Kill List, ).
Suffice to say our driver gets mixed up with a pretty girl (Carey Mulligan) and his quiet, controlled life quickly spins out of control and the road to revenge is peppered with pitstops of extreme violence. Is that enough driving puns?
Refn fully deserves the praise coming his way and his shiny award from Cannes. There is not a single moment of the film where he is not in complete control of what is one screen. He draws great performances out of his actors (Albert Brooks proving that sometimes comedians can do menacing better than the rest), knows that a lingering look between Gosling and Mulligan says more than any dialogue could, when to hold a shot and when to cut away, and as exemplified on BBC Breakfast, he knows that building to these sudden bursts of violence is very important, the lift scene a prime example. Backed up with stunning cinematography that gives Los Angeles a sheen that it hasn't had since Collateral and a terrific electronic soundtrack by Cliff Martinez that is destined to be downloaded by moviegoers straight after the film, Refn looks to be the complete filmmaker and I for one am very excited about his future prospects.
So grab your toothpick, sit down and fasten your seat belts because it's going to be one bumpy, but sizzlingly cool, night at the Drive-In for, yes I'm saying it too, The Film Of The Year.

5 stars

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - review

2011-09-17T11:00:00.000-07:00

In terms of cinematic release schedules and high profile film festivals like Venice and Toronto, September sees a shift from the mindless Summer blockbuster to the potential Awards contenders looking to be on critics' Top Ten lists and winning BAFTAs and Oscars come the end of the year.
And the first major contender has arrived in the form of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.
Smart women are often referred to as "thinking man's crumpet", and by that rationale Tinker Tailor et all is the "thinking man's spy film". The world of George Smiley is a million miles away from that of James Bond or Jason Bourne. This is espionage devoid of gadgets, car chases, computers, parkour and fist fights.
This is a world where shadowy men meet in smoke filled rooms, speak in codenames and people have to steal paper files, paper ones!
Another name for this film could have been Oldman's Eleven, as it has one of the best casts of recent years, possibly all time, and the common factor is that they all wanted to work with Gary Oldman. This is a cast that includes an Oscar winning King, Dobby The House Elf, Bane, The Elephant Man, Sherlock Holmes and "that guy who is in every British film" Mark Strong.
Out of the supporting cast Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hardy make the most of their screen time but this is Oldman's film.
He has long been one of Britain's most dependable actors, mixing quality turns (Sid And Nancy, Immortal Beloved, The Dark Knight) with a few paycheck films to afford a new kitchen (The Unborn, Lost In Space, Red Riding Hood). In films like True Romance, Fifth Element and Leon, he can go a bit over the top, "EVVVVVVERYONNNNNE!" but in TTSS, this is Oldman at his most calm and collected. It is a very internal performance and he does so much with just a look or a gesture, procesing all the information until he is ready to make his move. A masterful, understated, unshowy performance.
Tomas Alfredson who directed the wonderful Let The Right One In, has surpassed himself in creating an authentic British period thriller, one that is thankfully devoid of misjudged CGI cats. So much thought and detail has gone into the look and production detail that you can smell the stale cigarette smoke or taste the Wimpy burger being served on a plate... yes there is a scene set in a Wimpy!
Alfredson also resists the temptation to dumb the film down for audiences either. This is a complex and labyrinthe plot (based on the novel by John Le Carre) that has sometimes-difficult-to-place flashbacks so you will have to pay attention so don't mess around with your mobile phone or you'll be completely lost and whatever you do, don't see this with one of those friends who spends the whole movie asking stupid questions like "Who is that guy?" or "why is he doing that?".
It's rare to complain that you wish a film was longer but I could have quite happily sat through an additional 15-20 minutes in order that certain plot elements were developed a bit more. It is harsh to criticise such a well made film but due to such dense and complicated source material (the TV series took 6 hours to reach the same conclusion),but it is difficult to resolve all the plot threads into a neat tidy bundle without feeling like it is over rather quickly, indeed some characters don't get enough screen time to provide credible threats, and this is where a little bit more time could have been used.
But I find it harsh to criticise a film of rushing the climatic reveal and fallout when it ends on such a wonderful sequence set to the tune of "La Mer", the original French recording of what is popularly known as Beyond The Sea. Breathtaking stuff.

4 stars

NT Live: One Man, Two Guv'nors - review

2011-09-15T14:35:00.000-07:00

Alternative content i.e. live satellite screenings of operas, concerts and theatre, are now big business for cinemas. Offering the chance to see sold out or one off performances at premium ticket prices is both an attractive and lucrative programming choice for cinemas these days.
Earlier this year I had the chance to see Danny Boyle's Frankenstein with Benedict Cumberbatch and Jonny Lee Miller live via satellite and it was a terrific show but spoiled by transmission problems (a hazard of live productions).
Thankfully now that the future of The Belmont Picturehouse was secured, they have invested in upgrading their satellite equipment and on tonight's results it looks like these problems are now a thing of the past.
And a good thing too because One Man, Two Guv'nors was one of the best evenings I've ever spent in a cinema... which is odd because it wasn't a film that I was watching. Instead it was one of the funniest pieces of theatre I've ever seen, made all the better by being transmitted live.
The camera work by the NT was excellent and really got you close to the action that you wouldn't be able to get from sitting way back in the stalls. It was used to great effect when James Corden's character Henshall has an argument with himself and the camera cuts back and forth from two different angles in a similar way to the famous conversation between Gollum and Smeagol in LOTR: Two Towers.
But all that would count for nothing if the play wasn't any good and I can honestly say that I have laughed that much in a cinema screen since South Park The Movie. Tears were literally rolling down my cheeks (ask the people sitting next to me if you don't believe me).
One Man, Two Guv'nors is adapted from the Italian "Commedia del Arte" Servant of Two Masters from 1743 and set of Brighton in 1963 were failed Skiffle Band member Frances Henshall (James Corden) ends up working for two rival mobsters and tries to keep the two from finding out about the other.
It is a classic old school comedy of errors as Henshall sinks deeper and deeper into trouble as he attempts to keep both Guvnors sweet, mainly due to the fact that he is not the sharpest tool in the box.
I'm going to hold my hands up now and say that I wasn't a huge fan of James Corden before tonight. I thought the Horne & Corden show was terrible, the whole Gavin & Stacey thing kind of passed me by and I avoided Lesbian Vampire Killers like the plague. But tonight my opinion did a complete 360, Corden was absolutely fantastic, easily coping with both the verbal and physical sides of a very demanding (and exhausting) role which included a lot of interaction with the audience, both narrating his worries and breaking the fourth wall completely and bringing people up on stage to help cover his tracks. Perhaps his true talents belong on the stage as he worked the entire auditorium, having them in the palm of his hand and they loved his little asides and knowing glances to them. It was delightful to see him try to stop himself "corpsing" on stage when Oliver Chris (who nearly stole the show as Guvnor #2 Stanley Stubbors) stitched him up a treat with an ad-libbed "oopsy-diddly-daisy-do" when Corden dropped a bottle. Again it was one of the joys of seeing live theatre, something you just don't get with a film., no matter how good it is.
The script is very tight, hilarious, and outstandingly performed by the entire cast and has a wonderful rockabilly soundtrack performed by a band that captures the feeling of the show and entertains during the interval and scene changes.
Overall, this was one of the best (and by far the funniest) pieces of theatre I have seen and would throughly recommend trying to catch it if there is an encore screening at The Belmont Picturehouse soon.
Based on the audience numbers and feedback from tonight's performance (and the bonus fact that you can now enjoy a drink in the screen), I would say that the future is very bright for this new thread of alternative content. Indeed I will be there on Sunday October 2nd for the 25th Anniversary of Phantom Of The Opera live from the Royal Albert Hall.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to look into buying tickets for One Man, Two Guvnors at the King's Theatre in Edinburgh at the end of October. These cinema screenings may be "the next best thing to being there" but if they are going to be that close to Aberdeen I might try "the best thing" too!

Jane Eyre - review

2011-09-11T11:37:00.000-07:00

I'm not really a huge fan of period costume dramas. I mean who really wants to watch a movie where Sarah Jessica Parker stresses about what she'll wear during her time of the month? I jest, I jest!
My main dislike for the genre comes from memories of my mum and sister endlessly watching the TV series of Pride & Prejudice when Colin Firth became the nation's heartthrob as Mr Darcy (although I wouldn't rate him as an actor until A Single Man).
In my eyes, period dramas consisted of nothing more than women in tight corsets and men in jodpurs walking wistfully on moors whilst pining for a lost love.
However as a film critic, I should try to put aside personal opinion and view each film with an open mind. And I'm glad I did, as Jane Eyre has a lot going for it.
I'm not one for reading the classics (my favourite book is High Fidelity) and so I wasn't familiar with the story of Jane Eyre but my interest was initially peaked by the first trailer that was released early this year which gave the film a rather mysterious, creepy vibe more akin to The Woman In Black than Pride & Prejudice. The second trailer was a more typical trailer that focused on the love story between Jane and Rochester. Just goes to show what can be achieved through the power of editing!
As expected with this type of film, the cinematography is gorgeous (and yes there are plenty of shots of our two lovebirds out enjoying the scenery), the costume and production design is faultless and there is fine support from Judi Dench and Jamie Bell but what really drew me into the story were the performances of the two leads.
I was very critical of Mia Wasikowska in Alice In Wonderland (as I probably was with everything to do with that film) but after seeing her as Jane Eyre, I'm willing to put that dire performance down to the fact she was overawed by having to act against green screen. She is very reserved and holds her own against the older and formidable Rochester, unwilling to let slip her true feelings which could be her undoing. Her accent is also faultless and is much more impressive than Anne Hathaway's recent attempts in One Day.
The main draw of the film for myself, and for countless women across the land probably, was Michael Fassbender. He stole the show in Inglourious Basterds, did a Christian Bale-style transformation in Hunger and is destined to become a huge star this year thanks to appearing in 100+ films this year and winning Best Actor at Venice yesterday.

His Rochester is smouldering, brooding and aloof. There is a mystery to him and a sense that there is something dangerous under the surface waiting to unleash itself. He reminded me a lot of Laurence Olivier's Maxim De Winter in Hitchcock's Rebecca.
If I was to have one criticism of the film, it is that I would have preffered it to focus more on the mysterious happenings of Thornfield (screams in the night, random fires, etc) than the love story... but that could be down to me being a heartless shell of a man, much like Jane feels Rochester to be initially!

Troll Hunter

2011-09-08T10:30:00.000-07:00

The problem with the "found footage" film is that by its very nature, the ending is predetermined. The fact that someone has mysteriously discovered some lost footage and "edited" it together to make a semi-coherent piece of film implies that things didn't work out too well for the person/persons behind the camera. For example: Cannibal Holocaust, The Blair Witch Project, Cloverfield, Paranormal Activity, Apollo 18, the list goes on and on.
Whilst all of these films are typically very low-budget and will feature at least one "running around screaming shaky cam" moment, the trick is to make them entertaining. As James Cameron said about the likes of Titanic and Apollo 13 where the ending is already known, "it's not about the destination, it's about the journey".
And in this respect, Troll Hunter is easily one of the most enjoyable films in this particular genre.
Starting off in a similar vein to Blair Witch it follows a group of Norwegian students looking to film a story on local bear attacks but stumble upon a secret. The government uses "bear attacks" to cover up the existence of Trolls.
At this point the film could have gone down the cheap and easy horror route and have them spend the next 70 minutes running around the woods in the dark trying to escape trolls... they only do this in one scene. Instead the film plays out like a weird mix of Brother Grimm meets The Office.
It's success lies in the character of Hans, the country's number one Troll Hunter who becomes the students focus for their documentary. They follow him on his rounds, whether it be figuring out why certain trolls are migrating or having to put down a troll that is endangering local people. Hans is "getting too old for this shit" and is a wonderful counter balance for the three wide-eyed students who are amazed at the existence of these mythological creatures, he has the demeanour of a man who has "been there, done that", and much of the film's humour derives from his interactions with the students and his prey.
At 95 minutes, the film zips along at a good pace, there is some subtle character development (which is rare in this type of film) and a surprising amount of action (and trolls) for a film of this budget.
Although it is Norwegian, subtitles shouldn't prove too much of a distraction as "troll" is the same in both languages!

3 stars

Your "To Do List"

2011-09-02T11:34:00.000-07:00

One Day review - One day that certainly hasn't been seized!

2011-08-24T14:11:00.000-07:00

Working in Waterstone's at the moment, I know just how popular this book is. We actually sold out of copies yesterday. You can't go anywhere without seeing someone reading "the book with the bright orange cover". And with that sentence, I join every other film critic in the country who has used that observation in their review... but I know first hand having sold dozens of copies!
I gave into the hype and decided to read it, like I did with Twilight, just to see what all the fuss was about. Unlike Twilight, I was actually quite taken with One Day, which ironically I read in just one day. I liked the hook of seeing the yearly snapshot of their relationship as we revisit Em and Dex on St Swithins Day over the course of 20 years, leaving the reader to fill in the blanks, and they could due to the fact that writer David Nicholls developed fully realised characters on the page, with a relationship you can invest and believe in.
The same can not be said for the big screen adaptation unfortunately.
In Raiders Of The Lost Ark, Indiana Jones remarks "It ain't the years honey, it's the mileage", and that is exactly what the film is missing. The film skims over 23 years in 107 minutes (some years get 10 minutes, some are inexplicably just 30 seconds of Anne Hathaway swimming) and it never allows the audience enough time to connect with the characters and deliver that emotional punch that we require to have us crossing our fingers that Emma and Dexter finally get together by the end credits. What works in the novel fails to transfer to the screen in a way that romantic films with a similar fractured narrative like When Harry Met Sally and (500) Days of Summer did. I'm not just saying that as someone who has read the book, newcomers are likely to find the whole affair too rushed to care enough.
Another barrier to my inability to buy into the central relationship lay in the casting of the two leads. Jim Sturgess overplays the prickish nature of Dexter which makes it difficult to see what Emma actually finds likeable about him. And then there is Anne Hathaway.
In the book, Emma is meant to be a bit frumpy and bookish, and I'm sorry but putting a pair of Harry Potter glasses on Anne Hathaway does not stop her looking like Anne Hathaway! Plus her "Leeds" accent at times goes for a longer wander than a student taking a gap year.
The film does have one saving grace in the form of Rafe Spall, two if you count an all too brief appearance by the lovely Romola Garai. Spall lights up the screen and steals the whole film as the lovelorn Ian, one of Emma's early romances, and I'm not just saying that because his character is a fan of both Evil Dead and Wrath Of Khan!

Mooltipass - better than an Oyster card

2011-07-04T10:46:00.000-07:00

I worry that now I'm only working part time at the weekends, I may have too much time on my hands!

John Cusack - only "10 good films"?

2011-07-04T09:12:00.001-07:00

I did a double bill at the weekend of Grosse Pointe Blank and High Fidelity. Not only two of my favourite films but two of John Cusack's best performances.
Which reminded me of an interview he gave at the time of the release of 1408 where he said that "I've made 10 good films. I'm sure you know which ones they are. The rest I tend to blank out, it's like I've never made them".
10... out of a total of 48 (that he had made by 2007... he didn't even get to blank out 2012 as absolute shit by this point!), can that be right?

Did John Cusack have a moment of Shia Labeouf-type honesty, or is he being a bit too harsh on himself?

The article went on to speculate what the ten good films are:

The Sure Thing, Eight Men Out, Say Anything, The Grifters, Bullets Over Broadway, Grosse Pointe Blank, The Thin Red Line, Being John Malkovich, High Fidelity and Max.

A good list but I personally feel it has two glaring omissions:

Stand By Me. I know he is only in it for a couple of minutes as Gordie Lachance's older brother Denny but it remains a classic Eighties movie for my generation,

and...
one of the most gloriously OTT action films of the Nineties, Con Air.

I'm sure Robbie Collin would include Hot Tub Time Machine in this list but I remain unconvinced!

Top Ten of 2011 - Halftime review

2011-07-02T02:50:00.000-07:00

Below are my top ten films of 2011... so far. It might surprise you, as it did me, to see a high quantity of mainstream films making up the ten, especially considering the big summer blockbusters like Pirates 4, Hangover 2 and Transformers 3 have been terrible. Is it just that that by working 60+ hours a week at The Belmont while I was still there prevented me watching some cool, indie, foreign language films, or are my tastes becoming more mainstream in my old age? I guess I'll find out for sure at the end of the year when I do my final list!

1. Black Swan
2. Rango
3. Submarine
4. X-Men: First Class
5. I Saw The Devil
6. Animal Kingdom
7. Insidious
8. Bridesmaids
9. Source Code
10. Fast And Furious 5

REVIEW: Transformers 3: Dark Of The Moon

2011-06-29T08:23:00.000-07:00

You didn't have to be a psychic to know that Transformers 3: Bark At The Moon was never going to be released to critical acclaim, but I don't think anyone was expecting the kind of hostile debate that erupted yesterday with fans criticising critics for lambasting a film that "is just a bit of fun", which resulted in an excellent counterpoint from Helen at Empire Magazine.
I myself would freely admit that not every film sets out to be Citizen Kane and it would be unfair to review a blockbuster film and slate it for not being it's equal. However, as Helen's article states, just because the film is aimed at the crowd-pleasing summer market doesn't mean that it should be exempt from such aspects as plot, character development and emotional connection. And on this level, Transformers 3 fails on all accounts.
I tried to watch it with an open mind. I had heard praise for the action sequences, that the use of 3D was "the best since Avatar" (yes, the brightness levels were an improvement but I'd still prefer to watch it in 2D) but just like The Hangover Part 2, it just smacked of lazy filmmaking.
Please do not think of me as one of those film snobs who only enjoys the latest Werner Herzog film or wants every film he sees to be in black and white accompianed by subtitles. I enjoyed the hell out of Fast And Furious 5. There was a point in the film, around 20 minutes in, when Paul Walker and Vin Diesel drive off a cliff and jump into the water below, surviving without a scratch on them. I made a concious decision to accept this and enjoy the film, which I did (mainly because The Rock brung it) but unfortunately I could not do the same with Transformers. Too many elements kept drawing me out of the story.
The plot of the third film is about how the space race was actually about retrieving Cybertronian technology that crash landed on the moon, which is capable of teleportation between Cybertron and Earth and the Decepticons wish to use it to invade. All well and good, but with all these films it is just a plot device designed to get giant robots together to smack the shit out of each other.
Iron Man 2 suffered from a similar problem, in that it is difficult to engage in a battle between giant robots or men in CGI metal suits. The element of danger or threat of "real" harm is reduced and therefore more difficult to emotional invest or care about the outcome. The action becomes very "samey" and indistinguishable from film to film (apart from the fact there are no giant robot balls swinging around the screen this time round).
This leaves the audience to connect with the "human characters", if you can call them that. I enjoyed the first Transformers film, mainly because Shia LaBeouf made for an engaging everyman, a geeky little upstart who is thrown into this world of tranforming robots and lucks out by getting a smoking hot Megan Fox to take an interest in him. By the third film, LaBoeuf has ruined two film franchises (Indiana Jones and Wall Street) and Sam Wikipedia has evolved into a whiny guy who sulks about being unable to find a job even though he saved the world and we are supposed to believe that once again he has managed to get an improbably hot girl to hang on his every word and support him financially. I know that this is a film where I'm meant "to leave my brain at the door" but even that stretches the suspension of disbelief!

When told to "bring it" for the guy who did The Rock, they meant Michael Bay and not Dwayne Johnson!

Poor Rosie Huntington-Whitely. I'll leave it at that. She goes out with The Stath and he could break me in half with just a look! It doesn't help her when her character is introduced with a shot of her (perfectly formed) arse walking up the stairs. Unfortunately for Hollywood, for every film like Bridesmaids that promotes strong female characters, there will be Michael Bay lurking around to provide a fantasy figure for lustful mastabatory teenage boys!
Not that the rest of the supporting cast fair that well either. Malkovich, Malkovich cashes another paycheck by playing Sam's boss who is oranger than the entire cast of The Only Way Is Essex, Frances McDormand initially gives some bite to her character but fades into the background as the film progresses. Not learning any lessons from the overbloated Pirates Of The Caribbean sequels, Bay insists on bringing back numerous minor characters from the previous films like the army guys who I can't remember the names of even though I've just watched the film and John Turturro. The only merciful blessing is that Ken Jeong is killed off quickly to atone for The Hangover Part 2!
The main problem I have with recycling these minor characters is that since they have survived two already long installments, I don't foresee any danger that they won't make it to the final credits. I remember back in the day, with the likes of Independence Day or Jurassic Park, when movies had the robot balls to kill off minor/supporting/even main characters, thus making the final victory/escape/etc more meaningful.
The idea of an hour long climax complete with more money shots than a Sasha Grey retrospective would normally make for appealing viewing but unfortunately Transformers 3: Dark Of The Moon is just like Rosie Huntington-Whitely. Astoundingly beautiful eye candy but with nothing underneath to sustain my interest for two and a half hours!

BlogALongABond #6 - On Her Majesty's Secret Service

2011-06-28T06:28:00.000-07:00

Relevance of opening sequence: It holds off from initially revealing Bond's face until he a) stops Diana Rigg from commiting suicide by drowning in the sea (as the plot goes), or b) stops her from going for a midnight swim fully clothed (as it looked to me). The brief introductory sequence allows for Lazenby to drive a fast car, show he can handle himself in a fistfight, but fails to get the girl. It ends with a nice, nearly fourth wall breaking comment, "This never happened to the other fellow".

Bond Song: For the opening credits we get an instrumental track that would become one of Bond's (and Barry's) most iconic tunes, and would repeat during various action set pieces throughout the film. A welcome bonus is Louis Armstrong singing We Have All The Time In The World (oh how ironic), but somehow it seemed to slip my mind that the song was written for the film and not already a hit beforehand.

Time elapsed before we hear "Bond... James Bond": 4 minutes and 20 seconds.

Attractiveness of Bond Girls: While Bond does sleep around with a few women at the test clinic, as Bond is prone to do as he can't resist, his main love interest is Diana Rigg as Tracy Di Vicenzo. She is arguably the best ever Bond girl, precisely for the reason that she doesn't behave like a Bond girl. She is a match for him physically and mentally (she sees through her father's scheme immediately), and most importantly, she doesn't give into his advances easily. However I must bring up an exchange between her father and Bond concerning Tracy. Having thanked Bond for saving her life, Draco offers Bond $1 million to marry her. "She needs a man to dominate her. To make love to her enough to make her love him. A man like you." My reading of this was - I'll give you a $1 million to give my daughter a damn good f*cking! Glad to see the Bond films hadn't lost their mysoginistic ways when Connery left!

Best Innuendo: While at dinner with a table of young women, one of them writes her room number on his leg under the table (he's wearing a kilt) which startles Bond. "everything alright?" asks Bunt, "Just a slight stiffness coming on... in the shoulder" replies Bond.

Best One Liner used when despatching an evil henchman: A pretty poor selection to choose from in this movie with the jokes being very tenuous but the best of a bad bunch. Bond throws a goon through some trestled fencing in a hotel room and quips "Gatecrasher". See what I mean!

Best Gadget: Since Bond is not on assignment, he gets no assistance from Q branch, therefore no cool gadgets to speak of.

Evilness of Villain: It's the return of Blofeld (or is it?) and Terry Savalas plays the bald baddie which gives him a more physical presence than Donald Pleasance but I preferred his take on the character. Also there is a huge continuity problem created by this film. The filmmakers stuck closely to the book of OHMSS which was the first meeting of Bond and Blofeld which kind of explains why Blofeld doesn't recognise Bond despite a poor Superman-esque disguise of a hat and glasses. However it doesn't explain away the events of You Only Live Twice, which left me with some major questions till I discovered this fact in the Imdb trivia page.

Feasibility of Evil Scheme: Having tried to engineer a nuclear war in the previous film, Blofeld decides to try a different tactic to hold the world to ransom, by using biological warfare to prevent the world's crops from being able to grow. His secret is to use normal brainwashed woman as pawns to release the toxin. There is no denying the versatility of Blofeld and SPECTRE, every scheme is different, but this one seems destined for failure. There are just to many variables to consider.

Does Bond end the film in a boat in a romantic clinch? Well this is new. Bond does end the film in a vehicle with a woman, but here he is clutching the dead, lifeless body of his new wife!

General thoughts: Where do I start? With the Carry On-esque section where Bond is pretending to be Sir Hilary Bray who sleeps his way around the various women at Blofeld's clinic, to one girl "I'll be in your room at 7.00", to another "I'll see you at 8.00", before sneaking into one room to find the brutish Irma Bunt instead? Or perhaps the point in the film where we have a getting to know you montage? That's right, a montage in a Bond film... and it's not even a training one. These moments seem out of place in a Bond film but I can understand the need to try new things with the disappearance of Connery. One major plus point of OHMSS was it introduced us to Bond's love and adeptness at winter sports with some cracking chase scenes on the ski slopes.

James Bond, and Sean Connery, return in July in Diamonds Are Forever.

REVIEW: X-Men: First Class - Vaughn gives this franchise a reboot up the arse.

2011-06-02T05:04:00.000-07:00

Ah, what a difference a couple of months can make. It was only back in March that people (The Incredible Suit included) were despairing over the terrible marketing campaign Fox were putting out for X-Men: First Class. Could it be that an insanely tight production schedule had resulted in a turkey of mutant proportions?
Fast forward to the end of May and First Class debuts to a 98% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and critics hailing it as the best comic book movie since The Dark Knight.
So what's the truth? While it is certainly not as good as The Dark Knight, it is closer to Batman Begins than Batman & Robin.
A lot of the reviews so far have made comparisons to Christopher Nolan's reboot of the Batman franchise and a lot of them are justified. Both Tim Burton's Batman and Bryan Singer's X-Men started with the heroes already existing in society. Nolan went back to the beginning to look at what makes a man dress up as a bat to fight crime, and Vaughn looks at the formation of the X-Men (the recruitment montage features one of the best ever cameos and uses of the F-bomb) and the pivotal moment that turned friends Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnser into the enemies they were are the start of the first film.

"I loved you in Band Of Brothers", "I was going to say the same thing!"

Matthew Vaughn is really coming into his own as a director and delivers a summer blockbuster that nearly manages to break out of the comic book genre and become just a really great movie. The period setting allows for Vaughn to fulfill his Bond fantasies (to the extent that the villain has a secret submarine in his yacht). Kick-Ass proved he could do action but he manages to create a fun, action-packed summer blockbuster that never has to sacrifice story or character development.
He has an impressive ensemble cast that help provide a lot more threads in the Six Degrees Of Kevin Bacon game but top marks however must go to the James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender and Jennifer Lawrence. Despite the iconic performances of Stewart and McKellen, their younger counterparts quickly make the parts their own. McAvoy has an impish charm to him, using his power to get girls until fate shows him that he is destined to use this power for a greater purpose, and Fassbender has the steely eyed look of a man who could be the next James Bond, and in this film he becomes a bona fide star.
There is a moment in the film where Xavier helps Magneto achieve the full extent of his powers and the look on Fassbender's face played out with Henry Jackman's music underneath is a truly touching moment which cements their friendship which makes the tragic turn events take all the more sad.
Jennifer Lawrence also makes the most of a terrific story arc that focuses on what has always been at the heart and soul of the X-Men stories: the struggle and fight for acceptance in a world that fears what is different.
First Class is not a perfect film. Due to the rushed production schedule (it was rewritten, filmed, edited and post production all within a year), unfortunately there are some niggling issues like dodgy CGI, Beast's make-up, missing love story lot between Charles and Moira, a couple of underwritten minor characters, and Fassbender's accent going rather Oirish at times. But I think that if Vaughn had had a little more time to polish rounds the edges then this could have been a five star film... but unless he gets the chance to tinker with it before the DVD release then he'll have to make do with a rating of 4.5 stars.

4.5 stars

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo... and a safety pin through her nipple!

2011-06-01T06:21:00.000-07:00

The first teaser poster for David Fincher's US remake of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo has arrived in The Belmont and I'm posting it here for all to see.

What does everyone think? Rooney Mara certainly has the required look (including exposing her breats with a safety pin through her nipple), what will the silver screen brigade make of it?

After a killer first teaser trailer and now this poster, this is one remake I'm actually looking forward to!

REVIEW: Julia's Eyes - Turn Around Bright Eyes

2011-05-21T04:21:00.000-07:00

The Iberian horror renaissance looks set to continue with Los Ojos des Julia or Julia's Eyes to folks like you and me. Optimum seem to have focused on the jumps and scares in marketing the movie, but in reality it is actually a tense thriller with an tremendous central performance by Belen Rueda.

Belen Rueda was hoping that her Derren Brown routine would get her out of making horror movies

Rueda plays identical twins Julia and Sara who both suffer from a degenerative eye disease that causes blindness. When Sara apparently commits suicide, Julia suspects foul play and tries to solve the mystery with the begrudging help of her husband Isaac behind her death before her own eyesight fails.
Going into Julia's Eyes expectations were high as the last film to get the 'Guillermo Del Toro' presents above the title was the outstanding The Orphanage, which was one of my favourite films of 2008.
Julia might not be able to reach the dizzying heights of excellence as The Orphanage but director Guillem Morales certainly displays some talent behind the camera, creating a thriller that evokes a similar sense of blindness and helplessness that featured in Wait Until Dark starring Audrey Hepburn as a blind woman whose apartment is terrorised. He uses various in-camera effects to give the audience a sense of Julia's deteriorating vision, frames the action is obscure peoples faces, and during the film's climax, features a sequence that takes a beat from Rear Window and cranks it up to 11.
It does feel a little too long however and the pacing could have been tightened up once the "invisible man" is revealed. Plus there is epilogue that some will find far too schmaltzy compared to the tone of the rest of the film, but your acceptance of this will greatly depend on how much you buy into the central relationship between Julia and her husband. Personally, in a couple of short scenes they provide a complete back story to their relationship and a convincing sense of true love.
As with The Orphanage, the film's true strength lies in Belen Rueda, once again delivering a performance that grounds the film in reality despite the weird going-ons and takes the audience along the journey with her. The only fault I could find with her was that her impressive and ample bosum kept causing a distraction to me... but that is a problem I'm seeking help with!
Another welcome antidote to the generic thrillers and horrors that Hollywood are producing. It will be on limited release so "see it while you can" - ha ha ha

4 stars

REVIEW: Attack The Block - Aliens in the Hoodies

2011-05-19T12:06:00.000-07:00

So is Attack The Block the next film that continues people to shout from the rooftops about how 2011 is the second coming for British cinema? Or is it, as Total Film might describe it using there patented "X film meets Y film" poster quotes, "Eden Lake meets Critters" with a group of happy-slapping hoodies as unlikeable lead characters?
Ultimately, it's a bit of both, and I won't let the fact that I met Joe Cornish last week, who is a lovely man by the way, have any effect on my review!

Kids find an alien after it crashlands on Earth. So far, so Spielberg but this alien landed in South London and gets its head kicked in by a bunch of hoodies. Rather than Spielberg, Cornish draws more influence from the work of John Carpenter and it plays out like a British sci-fi version of Assault of Precinct 13 as our hoodies fight off a group of pissed off aliens from tearing up their yard (to use the modern parlance of our times).
As a sci-fi horror/thriller it is very effective, building tension and atmosphere and delivering on action but don't go to ATB expecting a hilarious Shaun Of The Dead style comedy as has been marketed. There is some humour in it but mainly the odd quip to break the tension and usually spoken by the characters of Pest or Brewis.
The film certainly nips along at a fantastic pace, with a running time of 88 minutes it is the perfect antidote to the bum-numbing summer blockbusters like Pirates Of The Caribbean.
The lean running time does create a problems however in how it affects the protagonists.
The movie opens with the audience following Jodie Whittaker's nurse Sam as she walks home from work. Before she gets there she is mugged by a group of hoodies, and they are interrupted when an alien crashlands into a nearby car and they quickly kill. The story then follows these kids as they return to their council estate aka "The Block" triumphantly showing off their trophy only for a few dozen of it friends to come and attack them seeking retribution.
The problem which many people have had with the film is that the main characters are unlikeable and unsympathetic, therefore making it difficult to care about their fate when their lives are at stake. In cinematic terms, they would be considered anti-heroes, but this only really works when the characters go on a journey and you see them change by the end of the film. The perfect example of this is Phil Connors in Groundhog Day. The problem with the kids in ATB is that they don't get any real screen time to develop their characters beyond the briefest of sketches, thus preventing me from empathising with them.

The cast were scared to see that Robbie Collin's 1 star review was lurking around the corner

Putting this major flaw aside, it does work as a purely enjoyable thrill ride and there is some interesting social commentary within the film; Moses remarks to Sam that they wouldn't have mugged her if they knew she lived in the block and Sam replies "but it's OK if I don't?!" and what is more dangerous, the aliens outside or the visious drug dealers running the block?
Cornish certainly displays enough filmmaking talent to warrant his name being mentioned in the same breath as the likes of Richard Ayoade, Gareth Edwards and Duncan Jones. I look forward to the inevitable spoof version At-toy-ck The Block!

3 stars

Pirates Of The Caribbean Bore... I mean 4

2011-05-17T06:36:00.000-07:00

Captain Jack and the gang return to the big screen on Wednesday with Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides in rum-swigging, swash-buckling, insert another adjective 3D.
After two over-long, confusing, plot heavy, far-too-many-character filled sequels that prompted this response from Mark Kermode, have they managed to return to the sense of fun and action that made The Curse of the Black Pearl such a surprise hit?
The short answer is... HELL NO!!!

"I'll get my boat" - Time's up for the Pirates franchise

They managed to ditch a lot of the extraneous characters (Knightley, Bloom, Crook, etc) but just replaced them with dull, lifeless new ones (a missionary and a mermaid) or fiesty ones (Cruz and MacShane) but didn't give them time to develop their characters, which is strange it is still as long (141 minutes). The plot is as bloated as a beached kraken, Depp looks like he's just sleepwalking through the film doing his pantomime schtick and there are more holes in the plot than an entire swiss cheese shop. You will literally spend the next day picking it apart going "Hang on, what about...".
Having expressed my displeasure for the film, I must state that Penelope Cruz still looks absolutely stunning with a moustache, and is one reason to see it in 3D ;) Plus the mermaid attack is an original and exciting highpoint of the film.
Rather than paying your money to see Pirates 4, why not just watch this Lonely Island video called Jack Sparrow which features Michael Bolton and is more fun and entertaining than the film and only 3 minutes long!

BlogalongaBond #5 - You Only Live Twice

2011-05-17T05:53:00.000-07:00

Relevance of pre-credit sequence: Very relevant as SPECTRE initiate their evil scheme by capturing a US space shuttle. Yes Bond films have entered the space race. Bond himself is "shot to death" after receiving a massage from a woman in Hong Kong. Odd to see Hong Kong back in the 60's without many of the iconic buildings that feature so prominently on the skyline these days.

Bond song: You Only Live Twice as sung by Nancy Sinatra. One of the best instrumentals of the series but not as strong a vocal as the bombastic Welsh warblers of recent films. Come on Nancy, give it some welly, or get your dad to help out!

Time elaspsed before we hear "Bond... James Bond": Not said in this film at all!

Attractiveness of Bond Girls: Depends if you like girls of Asian descent I suppose. There are two in this film that Bond makes sweet sushi with - Aki and Kissy and they are both Am-Asian! (sorry). He also sleeps with a redheaded woman working for SPECTRE to stop her from killing him. As Bond says himself "The things I do for my country".

Best Innuendo: Tiger - in Japan, men come first, women come second. Bond: I just might retire to here.
Best One Liner when despatching an evil henchman: [throws someone into the pool of piranhas] Bon Appetit!

Best Gadget: While Bond does prove smoking kills with a cigarette that can fire bullets, the award this time round goes to Little Nellie. A portable mini helicopter with a plethora of projectile weaponary.

Evilness of villain: This was where we finally get our first full look at SPECTRE's Number 1 and arch-nemesis of Bond, Ernst Stavro Blofeld (played this time round by Donald Pleasance). Whilst it is undeniable that some of the threat and menace of Blofeld has been diminished thanks to Mike Myers and Dr. Evil, Blofeld is still a criminal mastermind, willing to get rid os expendable assets to get the job done and only fault in this film is the cliche of failing to just kill Bond when he has the chance. Pleasance gives him a quiet eloquence that is disarming yet the cold, calculating evil is never that far below the surface. Having said that, Bond could kick his arse in 10 seconds flat then probably punt his cat across the room afterwards just for kicks.

Feasibility of evil scheme: SPECTRE charge $100 million to start a war between Russia and the USA by stealing spce shuttles and causing the two opposing superpowers to blame each other. While the technology required seems slightly implausible, the notion that USA and Russia would go to war is completely feasible, so not a bad plan overall.

Does Bond end the film on a boat in a romantic clinch: Of course he bloody does! Bond and Kissy Suzuki escape the volcano and end up in a raft furthering international relations when a British submarine surfaces underneath them.

This film was always one of my favourite Bonds when I was a kid. I think I loved the whole scale of it, with Bond, normally the lone wolf being helped by Tiger's ninja school as they storm Blofeld's hidden lair inside a volcano. Of course looking back on it some aspects of it have not aged well. For example there is the section where they have to disguise Bond as a Japanese man to sneak him onto the island. Not only is he about a foot taller than anyone else but the transformation process is about as convincing as the valmorphisation technique used in Team America! You could almost call the film "You Onry Rive Twice"!
But the casual racism aside, and why not since they are fine with sexism too, this is still a cracking Bond film and the first one to take the idea that if Bond fails then the fate of the world is at stake since World War III could break out. Damn these superpowers and their nuclear weapons.
I would also put this film joint first in terms of influence on the Austin Powers series.

James Bond, but not Sean Connery, will return in June in On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

I SAW THE DEVIL... and all I got was this bloody terrific revenge thriller

2011-05-15T11:45:00.000-07:00

Any Korean revenge movie released these days will have the spectre of Cannes Jury Prize winner Oldboy hanging over it, and this one more than most due to the fact that it also stars Min-sik Choi who famously played Oh Dae-Su on his quest to discover why he had been imprisoned for 15 years.

A pictoral representation of the spectre of Oldboy leaning over the film

Devil goes toe to toe with Oldboy for acts of twisted, insane retribution. Not for the faint hearted, the extreme level of violence that is perpetrated by both men makes The Bride’s quest for revenge in Kill Bill look like a playground scrap.
In this film however Min-sik knows exactly what he is being punished for – the rape and brutal murder of a former police chief’s daughter and fiancée of a Korean special agent.
What follows is a dangerous and sadistic game of cat and mouse as Kyung-hul is hunted by the Terminator-like Kim Soo-hyeun, who will not stop until he has his vicious revenge.
It is a fascinating study of evil with large helpings of gore and violence (sliced tendons, broken fingers, cracked skulls, etc) delivered with skill, style and a dash of humour as black as the hearts of the protagonists. Yet it is not just violence for violence sake.
Who is the proverbial devil of the title? Who is the real monster? The sadistic serial killer or a man driven to violence by the pain of loss? These questions will stay with you long after the end credits role.
The two lead actors are excellent and deliver performances that lift it out of what could have been a mere exploitation movie. Min-sik switches between goofy and sadistic at the flip of a switch, creating a truly malevolent screen villain whose cool exterior slowly crumbles under the pressure of the hunt, banishing any thoughts of the sympathetic Oh Dae Su from the mind. Byung-hun plays it more internally, keeping everything bottled up inside. His vengeful lover has a face of stone but his eyes reveal a window to his soul, telling the true story, which makes his emotional catharsis towards the end of the film all the more powerful.

Byung-hun didn't agree with Min-sik's choice for the Palme D'Or

Some might find the running time of 141 minutes rather slow, painful and due to the extreme nature of the content (including a controversial rape scene) difficult to watch. However that is exactly what torture is, and as Kim Soo-hyeun says “If it was that easy, I’d have killed you already”. Kim Soo-hyeun, like the director Jee-Woon Kim, takes his time in executing his revenge before ramping up the pace in a thrilling final act that is reminiscent of Se7en and Saw.
Denied a proper cinematic release due to its extreme content (it was only on at the ICA in London) but is really worth checking out on DVD available in most good DVD stores or probably much cheaper online!

4 stars

HANNA - Hit Girl? More like Sh*t Girl!

2011-05-07T09:02:00.000-07:00

I had mixed feelings going into this action film by the director of Pride and Prejudice. Following in the footsteps of Mathilda in Leon and Hit-Girl from Kick-Ass, would their be room for Hanna in the crowded marketplace of teenage girl assassins?

"Screw you Portman and Moretz, I'm the Daddy now!"

Hanna lives in the wilderness being trained by her father until she is ready for her purpose, but what is it? Hunted by the CIA she goes on the run to try and discover details about her past.
It should play out like a teenage Bourne movie but unfortunately it is lacking in that sense of urgency that drove the trilogy.
Apparently the script for Hanna had twice appeared on the 'black list' which is an industry list of the best unproduced screenplays, but from the results I wonder how this could be the case.
One of the problems I had with the film was that everything felt rather underdeveloped, particularly the characters. Whilst Hanna herself gets to go on a voyage of self-discovery and awakening (well played by Saiorse Ronan) certain interesting aspects are hinted at but then forgotten, and the supporting characters seem like mere one-dimensional sketches: Bana is solid but seems to have walked staright off the set of Munich. Cate Blanchett's CIA operative has a wicked nature, wicked Texan drawl and is obsessed with dental hygiene but we never get to understand her true intentions for Hanna, but the biggest disappointment is Tom Hollander's tracksuit wearing killer. This could have been a scene-stealing performance but he doesn't get the opportunity to break out from an underwritten part. Blanchett comes to him because he is apparently very good at his job but we never get to see how vicious he can truly be.
I don't know if this is the fault of the script or the director who might have ditched characterisation in favour of super cool cinematography. Hanna must be up there with 127 Hours as the most over-directed film of the year, to the point of distraction!
Since this is a Joe Wright film, we get the obligatory "look at this really cool extended Steadicam tracking shot" as Eric Bana heads underground from a train station into a fight with four armed men.
However the biggest problem I had with the film concerned a scene where Hanna and Sophie, the young English girl who befriends her, are lying in a tent talking to each other face to face. Yet for some reason their heads are at alternate sides of the frame which started me thinking about whether Wright has done this for some unknown stylistic reason or whether it was a massive cock up?! Any time that an element like editing, cinematography, music, etc makes you come out of the story and start analysing the film is never a good thing.
But I'm being very negative, there must have been some good points right? Right? Yes there was actually, in the form of the score by The Chemical Brothers. This rather slow paced film really bursts into life when their music kicks in and is the driving force behind the film's best action scenes (the highlight being Hanna's escape from the military base).
The Chemical Brothers have continued the now worrying trend set by Daft Punk of having cool bands provide the soundtrack for crap films. I sincerely hope that Basement Jaxx don't make it a hat trick with Attack The Block.
Hit Girl set the bar high last year when she burst onto the scene asking "OK you C*nts, le't see what you can do now?". In Hanna's case? Not enough!

2 stars

Insidious review - Need a scary movie? Look no "Further"!

2011-04-30T12:15:00.000-07:00

Last week I bemoaning the lack of quality scary movies in recent years... so thank the maker(s) of Saw for Insidious which was a good old-fashioned scare-fest.
The horror genre has taken a lot of flak recently for producing nothing but a stream of torture porn films or PG-13 remakes of classic or Asian horror films, and whilst Insidious doesn't really break any new ground, it shows that what really counts when making a scary movie is the execution.

Insidious focuses on Josh (Patrick Wilson), Renai (Rose Byrne) and their three children as they move into a new house only for their son Dalton to fall into a coma after an accident. They start to see strange things but it turns out "it's not the house that's haunted... it's your son".
Reviewers might scoff at the haunted house/possessed child storyline, saying its been done to death, or the appearance of such horror cliches as a screeching violin soundtrack, creepy children, randomly opening and closing doors, etc.
However I would argue that these complaints are unnecessary because I want to watch a horror movie that terrifies and unsettles you, and James Wan & Leigh Whannell deliver scares by the bucket-load because of the fact that they are fans of the genre and knows exactly what works and how to generate a good scare.
Hitchcock once said that "there is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it". When done correctly, a good "jump" scare works because it is a release from the suspense that has been building in the scene. Modern horror filmmakers seem to have forgotten this and focus on the blood and gore rather than building suspense and tension. Wan and Whannell expertly manage to ratchet up the tension to the point that the audience are on the edge of their seat waiting for the scare. We know its coming, they know its coming, its just a matter of time.

Darth Maul was pissed about the plans to release Phantom Menace in 3D!

With a horror movie of this type it is always important to remember that "less is more" and that what the audience can imagine is always ten times more terrifying than whatever you can deliver on screen, and after a great two acts, the finale of the film loses it way slightly when Josh has to visit The Further in order to confront the demons and rescue his son. While it is infinitely more effective than a similar plot point in Joe Dante's The Hole, it does verge on the demented silliness that reminded me of Drag Me To Hell.
But every film can't be The Exorcist and occasionally you go to the multiplex on a Friday night to enjoy a genre film that is well made and Insidious is a Ronseal film, in that it does exactly what it says on the tin... scare the bejesus out of you. And it certainly worked on the audience I watched it with. There were screams, people jumped out of their skin, and the girl behind me threw her popcorn in the air. Sometimes that's all you can ask for... and the fact she didn't order nachos with cheese sauce!

4 stars

I don't see what all the fuss was about... Kate Middleton looks pretty rough to me in that dress!

Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 2 Trailer - 2 minutes of money shots!

2011-04-28T05:40:00.000-07:00

Last year we all had to sit through two and a half hours of Harry Potter And The One Where It Went A Bit Lord Of The Ringsy which consisted of a hell of a lot of exposition and wandering round forests looking for the one ring... sorry a bunch of horcruxes.
People at the time moaned that it was boring and not a complete film (duh, it was called Part 1 for a reason), but I compared it to having to go through several hours of foreplay before getting to 3 hours of one continuous orgasm.
A crude analogy perhaps but by the looks of the trailer, Deathly Hallows Part 2 will deliver the goods in a series of thrilling chase sequences and battles that should satisfy the most die-hard of fans and random members of the general public.

I have never been a squealing fanboy when it comes to the Harry Potter films but this trailer did cause me to go from six to midnight. Roll on 15th July!!!

I liked THOR but can't help thinking it would have been better if this happened...

2011-04-26T06:04:00.000-07:00

Where did all the scary movies go?

2011-04-22T11:54:00.000-07:00

I went to see SCRE4M at my multiplex and it seems that there is not much of an audience for horror films at 10.30am on a Monday morning. I was the only person in the screen apart from the cleaner, who was still doing her thing even during the trailers!
SCRE4M seemed content in pointing out how the horror genre had become nothing more than torture porn and remakes. And what better (or meta) way to critique how modern horrors attempt to reboot tired and cliched slasher films than producing a tired and cliched slasher film that once again fails to have the guts to deliver what the audience (well, me at least) wanted to see.

"Bugger, I didn't mean to kill the horror genre. Oops"

The catchphrase of Ghostface is "What's your favourite scary movie?" and it struck me as I left the cinema that it has been a while since I've seen a really good "scary" movie. Not a horror movie, like the Saw movies where you are only really going to see people dismembered in inventive traps, or remakes which lack suspense as we have already seen it 20 years ago. I'm talking about seeing a film that leaves with a feeling of unease, that gives you goosebumps and your spine tingle, that makes you think twice before switching off the light when you go to bed.

I honestly struggled to think of a great scary movie that was released within the last few years. There was Paranormal Activity in 2009, The Orphanage and REC in 2008, or even The Descent which was all the way back in 2005 which for me contains one of the all-time greatest "jump" moments in cinema history (hint - night vision).
Other people on Twitter ranked Eden Lake, The Others and Martyrs quite highly too. All of which are now on my Lovefilm list.
There is very little originality left in the horror genre at the moment. Torture porn seems to have killed the genre. The more Saw sequels that come out, the traps get more elaborate but the returns are diminishing. If it isn't that (or The Human Centipede) then they find a successful breakout hit and start to sequelize it to death as well like Paranormal Activity 2.
The most interesting, scariest and original films that have been released over the last decade or so have been foreign language films from Asia, France or Spain. But Hollywood then sees these films and decides to remake them and they, for the most part, lose some of that magic i.e. Dark Water, Quarantine, The Grudge, etc, etc, the list is endless... but I did like the US remake of The Ring.
The horror movie genre has always been cyclical. In the 30's it was the Universal gothic monster movies, the 70's/80's was the Slasher film, then Body Horror, Scream briefly revived the Slasher film in the late nineties before Torture porn took over in the noughties and at the moment we are going through a cycle of remakes.
There is a glimmer of hope though in the form of Insidious. The makers of the original Saw (but not the sequels) James Wan and Leigh Whannel have produced a scary movie that has been a hit at the US box office and delivers good old fashioned scares in a haunted house/possession type of horror that harks back to the days of The Exorcist, Poltergiest and the granddaddy of them all The Shining (my personal favourite scary movie).
I haven't seen it yet but Robbie Collin of the NOTW claims that it was "so scary I was whimpering in sheer terror".
I hope that this marks the return of the classic scary movie, the ones that work on the premise of "less is more" and that what the mind can imagine is much scarier than anything you can put on screen. So Hollywood, give the mutilation a rest and get back to having people appearing in mirrors after someone looks away for a second otherwise the next time I watch a horror movie will be in 2012 to see Hammer's take on The Woman In Black in which the scariest thing could turn out to be Daniel Radcliffe's acting!

Happy Birthday to the Picturehouse Podcast

2011-04-14T05:24:00.000-07:00

A quick blog post to wish a very Happy Birthday to the Picturehouse Podcast which is 1 year old today. The Picturehouse Podcast is THE film podcast to listen to (if you must listen to another one then Mayo and Kermode's is quite good too) and is hosted by the dynamic duo of Sam Clements and Simon Renshaw.

Over the past year they have cast their critical gaze over the latest releases, kept us up to date with movie news and gossip and even interviewed the odd special guests like Gareth Edwards, Edgar Wright, Richard Ayoade and even Dame Helen Mirren!

I have had the pleasure of donating my dulcet tones to the odd podcast, including an exclusive one recorded on the beach at Cannes, and you might often hear the voices of cool people like Chris Hewitt from Empire, Limara from Your Turn Heather, Charlie from Ultra Culture, The Incredible Suit, and the film reviewer I look up to the most (literally) Robbie Collin make the odd guest appearance to join in the hilarity.

Anyway, Sam & Simon are hosting a birthday party tonight to celebrate with a screening of The Big Lebowski (one of the greatest films ever made) at The Ritzy Cinema complete with party games, a live podcast recording before the film and plenty of White Russians. "Just be careful man, there's a beverage here!".

To book tickets for the event, click here. To subscribe to the excellent podcast, click here or visit Soundcloud to browse and listen to some blasts from the past.

Blog-A-Long-A-Bond #4: Thunderball

2011-04-13T11:34:00.000-07:00

Relevance of pre-credit sequence: "That's not a widow, it's a man Baby!". Bond attends the funeral of an enemy only to discover that he's actually not dead and disguised as his grieving wife. Bond kills him and escapes on a jetpack for no other reason than to show off! Standard set piece opener but enemy had links to the continuing SPECTRE subplot running through Connery's Bond films.

Bond song: Thunderball by Tom Jones. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. After Bassey they stick with the Welsh theme and have Jones belting out about his Thunderous Balls!

Time elaspsed before we hear "Bond... James Bond": 1 hour 23 minutes. However it is said by a woman not Bond himself!

Attractiveness of Bond Girls: Bond continues his worrying trend of forcing himself onto women until they give in and sleeps with a woman at the health clinic and a woman working for SPECTRE ("My dear girl, don't flatter yourself. What I did this evening was for Queen and country. You don't think it gave me any pleasure, do you?"). But the prize for sexiest Bond girl so far goes to Domino who is absolutely gorgeous, if a little dim.

Best Innuendo: [Bond is standing in the doorway between their apartments as Fiona takes a bath] Fiona : Aren't you in the wrong room, Mr. Bond? Bond: Not from where I'm standing. Quick mention of the line "I hope we didn't scare the fishes" after we are supposed to believe that Bond and Domino have had sex underwater whilst wearing scuba gear!?!

Best One Liner when despatching a villain: [after shooting Vargas with a spear gun] "I think he got the point."

Best Gadget: The Aston Martin makes a brief reappearance but the best new addition was Bond's jetpack that was only used in the opening scene.

Evilness of villain: While SPECTRE remains the constant threat, it was personified this time by Emilio Largo who poses not much physical threat (unless he is torturing a defenceless girl) but is backed up by dozens of nameless henchmen who Bond despatches with relative ease.

Feasibility of evil scheme: This one is the more traditional villainous schemes where SPECTRE hold NATO to ransom for, cue pinky, $100 million dollars after they steal two nuclear warheads. Of course, this is entirely plausible because if people leave laptops and USBs with security leaks on them lying around then it is possible that nuclear warheads can go missing.

Does Bond end the film on a boat in a romantic clinch: Of course! After Bond and Domino jump off a boat that is about to crash (along with another person who seems to have been forgotten about, left to drown in the ocean) they have a quick smooch in an inflatable liferaft before getting skyhooked up in the air. Yes, it seems that Nolan might have stolen that bit in The Dark Knight.

Overall I'm not quite sure what to make of Thunderball. I hadn't seen it in years and couldn't remember much about it except for the underwater fight and the fact that it was the one that was remade as Never Say Never Again (that was the Justin Bieber film right?). I was surprised to see that this was the biggest influence on Austin Powers: SPECTRE's lair and the method of dispatching employees who don't come up to scratch, No. 2 who wears an eyepatch and owns a pool of sharks (albeit without laser beams on their heads), etc, etc. However it is very slowly paced compared to the previous films and at 130 minutes it is too long. Definitely my least favourite of the Bonds so far.

P.S. Isn't it funny how Sean Connery's toupee differs with each passing film?

KAPOW! Comic Con round up

2011-04-12T08:12:00.000-07:00

This weekend I spent my time in the company of 2000+ nerds/geeks at the Business Design Centre in Islington. Why would I want to do such a thing? Because I was attending the very first Kapow! Comic Con, the brainchild of comic book writer Mark Millar, the man responsible for Wanted and Kick-Ass. When you think of British conventions, my first thoughts are of very minor celebrities from cancelled sci-fi shows charging £20 for an autograph, or being accosted by someone who is dressed up like The Borg. Millar wanted to bring the experience of the hugely popular and successful San Diego Comic Con to the UK. Did he succeed? While he certainly brought the San Diego weather (I felt sorry for the guy dressed as The Flash having to queue to get inside in 20 degree+ conditions), let's discuss the pros, "cons" and highlights of Kapow! (the exclamation was on the promotional material).

Highlights:

Top marks of the weekend have to go to the guys at the IGN UK Arena who were the most professional and had a great line-up of talent the whole weekend (by catching the guests before or after the main panels) and got interviews and signings with the likes of Danny McBride, Joe Cornish, Mark Millar and even Duncan Jones, who tried who best to be evasive when the Wolverine question came up.

Mark Gatiss took part in an excellent Q&A and was forthcoming about League Of Gentlemen (maybe an anniversary special at some point but difficult to get everyone together), Doctor Who (his episode will appear in the 2nd half due to screen in May, and his favourite Doctor is Jon Pertwee), Sherlock (another 3 feature length episodes including The Hound Of The Baskervilles and The Final Problem "but they won't be called that" and he joked about having to write himself out of that cliffhanger) and finally History of Horror (another series might happen, he hates remakes and torture porn, and loves a classic ghost story). That conveniently brings me to the Momentum panel on Sunday that featured the premiere of the teaser trailer for The Woman In Black which had the right look and spooky vibe and director James Watkins was on hand to assure us that most of the effects had been achieved in camera and that Harry Potter... sorry Daniel Radcliffe is old enough and good enough to play the lead. Also shown were a trailer for the bonkers looking Troll Hunter (with the tagline "The most important film of our time, is Norwegian") and James Wan and Leigh Whannel served up a funny Q&A to promote Insidious. Leigh Whannel is apparently terrified by Worzel Gummidge and Chocky. But the real surprise of the weekend was the Thor panel which included 20+ minutes of footage and a Q&A with Thor and Loki. There was always a chance that due to the nature of the comic that it could turn out a bit "Flash Gordon" but Branagh has found a rich vein of humour to contrast the two worlds, the visuals were impressive and the audience geeked out big time when we got a glimpse at the appearance of Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye.

Cons:

I was completely non-plussed by the Green Lantern footage. Some of the CGI, including Reynolds costume, looks ropey and WB could have a very expensive turkey on their hands. The pilot for Falling Skies made it look like Terminator Salvation but against crap CGI aliens rather than robots. The SDCC is arguably now more known for the big movie previews than it is for the comic book stuff but film fans expecting something similar would have disappointed with the lack of presence for such big summer films like Captain America, X-Men First Class, Pirates, etc as the main focus of the convention was on the comic side of things. In fact movie geeks who thought that they were quite geeky found the whole cosplay and level of intensity of the whole thing quite intimidating (Ultra Culture only lasted 20 minutes before returning to the sunshine and a couple of fellow Forumites felt it wasn't really their thing). The major grumble that I was hearing around the convention was about the lack of organisation regarding queuing for panels and signings. There was always going to be disappointment due to time restrictions and 2000 people trying to go to a panel with 500 capacity. Even some of the panels themselves were chaotic and disorganised. Jonathan Ross managed to blag his way through a Never Mind The Buzzcocks style comic quiz between the pros (Millar, John Romita Jr and Dave Gibbons - and if you don't recognise those names then the Con certainly wasn't for you!) and some fans despite leaving his questions at home! And the much hyped Stan Lee awards however were a disaster that made Sam Fox and Mick Fleetwood presenting the Brit Awards look positively professional. I left half way through to go joining the queue for the Thor panel. Also the staff seemed keen to kick everyone out of the building very quickly at 4.00 on the Sunday when the tickets said it would run till 5.00.

It was always inevitable that not everything would run according to plan considering this is the first time an event like this has been tried. Hopefully the positive and negative factors will be analysed and discussed so that Kapow! 2012 is an even bigger success... but as a movie geek I hope that the major studios have a bigger presence next year.

Top Ten Films of 2011: First Quarter results

2011-04-04T02:40:00.000-07:00

So we are now into April and a quarter of the way through the year already. The awards season is now over and we are gearing up for the summer blockbusters to hit, so I feel that now is a good time to reflect on what my top ten of the year is so far.

1. Black Swan - 5 stars
"Without a doubt, one of the best films I've ever seen. Aronofsky takes elements from films like Suspiria, Repulsion, even Showgirls to create a dizzying, disturbing descent into madness. Portman delivers the only performance to ever cause me to shed a tear. Astonishing stuff"

2. Rango - 5 stars
"Finally an animated film to rival Pixar. Think Fear and Lizards in Las Vegas, it is glorious to look at and delightfully subversive and all the more entertaining for the Chinatown references. Timothy Olyphant has the cameo of the year as The Spirit Of The West."

3. Submarine - 4 stars
"Moss from The I.T. Crowd delivers the British Film Of The Year (so far) on his first attempt with a beautiful and bittersweet rite-de-passage movie fuelled by top notch performances"

4. Animal Kingdom - 4 stars
"A cracking family crime drama that is the best thing to come out of Australia since Kylie Minogue's bottom"

5. Source Code - 4 stars
"Much more than 'Jakes On A Train' or 'Groundhog Day meets Inception'. This is a Hollywood thriller that is well executed, entertaining, thought provoking and has a lot of heart. Could Duncan Jones be the next Christopher Nolan? I hope so."

6. Confessions - 4 stars
"It would have been a 5 star film if it had ended after it's stunning 20 minute opening sequence. After a middle section that loses its focus, it comes back with a vengeance in a twisted finale. Proves yet again that no one does revenge films better than Asian filmmakers"

7. True Grit - 4 stars
"The Rooster abides in a seemingly effortless piece of genre filmmaking that is over far too quickly. Damon is usual underrated self but Steinfeld is 2011's Chloe Moretz"

8. Cave Of Forgotten Dreams - 4 stars
"I'm not that into natural history but Herzog's gravily narration combined with the stunning photography drew me into this fascinating documentary... and nice to see some lizards make an appearance"

9. The Adjustment Bureau - 4 stars
"Amazing chemistry between Damon and Blunt raises what could have been a confusing, muddled sci-fi thriller into a genuinely touching romance."

10. The Fighter - 4 stars
"The best boxing movie since Rocky IV"

"Made it Ma, top of the world" - DVDs to avoid for Mothers' Day presents

2011-04-03T06:41:00.000-07:00

Today is Mothers' Day and you may have left it late getting her that all important present. You are possibly heading to HMV to pick up the safe choice of Made In Dagenham because it was released on Monday just in time, is about female empowerment and equality and you have realised that your mum is indeed a women and you want her to feel empowered, despite the fact that she has spent many years cooking for you, cleaning your clothes, etc.

However you may decide to go for something a little different. If this is the case then you must be careful as the displays in HMV can sometimes be counterproductive as you will know if a) you ever been in one of their stores or b) read the amusing article by The Incredible Suit about his recent shopping trip. So to help you all out, I have a quick list of five films to avoid buying her as a present as they may give off the wrong message:

1. Precious The major inspiration for this article, I too had an Incredible Suit moment when I was browsing the HMV at Trocadero and saw this film in the 'Love Your Mum' section (they also had Martin Lawrence movies under a section called Black Cinematic Icons!). Mary (in a terrifying and Oscar winning performance by Mo'nique) is everything you would not want in a mother (evil, abusive, uncaring, vulgar, etc, etc) and by giving this as a present it either says "well done on not being like her" or "Mum, we need to talk about your attitude with this social worker who looks like Mariah Carey". See also: Mommie Dearest, A Cry In The Dark

2. Bambi Bambi's mother gets shot!!! Note, not a spoiler as it happens early as it the event that sets the story in motion.

3. Psycho "A boy's best friend is his mother". The story of Norman Bates and his mother is one of the all time greatest cinematic relationships but not the most appropriate. She would start to question your motives, especially if her dresses go missing! See also: Throw Momma From The Train

4. Black Swan Barbara Hershey's matriach is up there with Faye Dunaway on the Mommie Dearest stakes but it also wins points for the awkward moment where Portman nearly gets caught practising the two fingered tango. Not one to watch with Mother!

5. Sex And The City 2 I just wanted to echo Incredible Suit's thoughts and tell you to avoid giving her a copy of SATC2 which is not only one of the worst films of last year but an affront to women everywhere! A film so bad that one female reviewer, was a fan of the show, wrote "if this is modern womenhood allow me to sew up my vagina"!

BlogalongaBond #3: Goldfinger

2011-03-22T06:00:00.000-07:00

Relevance of pre-credits sequence to rest of film: None, but it does have a super cool moment when Bond removes his wetsuit just after planting a bomb to reveal his tuxedo underneath an goes to a nightclub to maintain cover and get some lovin'.

Bond song: There has arguably never been a more iconic Bond song than Goldfinger (I was going to say better but there are actually a couple I prefer but that is for another Bond film). It is big, bold, brassy and Bassey with Shirley belting it out like there is no tomorrow.

Time elapsed before we hear the line "Bond... James Bond": 12:03

Attractiveness of Bond girls: Iconic seems to be a word that I'll be using a lot with Goldfinger but the fact is that this is the Bond film that really defined the series and genre, and provided us with a Bond girl with the best look: Shirley Eaton covered in gold paint; and the best Bond girl name in history: Pussy Galore. Trivia states that Honor Blackman got the role due to her job in The Avengers but I suspect it was because she could say Pussy Galore without sniggering. However am I the only that felt slightly uncomfortable when Bond forces himself on Pussy in the barn? Like the joke in Family Guy featuring Bond says "nine No's and a Yes means Yes"

Best Innuendo: Many would go for the easy "I'm Pussy Galore"... "I must be dreaming" gag, but I prefer when Bond is asked why he always carries his gun - "I have a slight inferiority complex"

Best One Liner used when despatching an evil henchman: *electrocutes a man in the bathtub* "shocking... positively shocking"

Best Gadget: This is the film where Q branch really comes into its own. We get to see the inner workings of the department and they deliver the technological highlight of the series so far in the form of the Aston Martin complete with ejector seat, defense mechanisims and homing device. I still have the replica toy car at home!

Evilness of Villain: Auric Goldfinger is quite a bastard to be fair. He has no qualms in killing business associates and thousands of soldiers in order to achieve his goal... unfortunately he makes the mistake that all Bond villains make, he doesn't kill Bond when he gets the chance! Having said that, Goldfinger is quite a charasmatic fellow and has a lot of interaction with Bond where there is a begrudging respect. One of the best villains of the series... even if he is dubbed.

Feasability of Evil Scheme: Goldfinger plans to break into Fort Knox in order to set off a nuclear device that would contaminate the USA's gold supply creating chaos in the world financial markets. It's odd to realise just how many Bond villains attempt to terrorize the world on a financial level. Goldfinger comes closer to success than many villains but Bond manages to deactivate the bomb just in time for the clock to read 007 (get it) even though moments later he remarks that "3 more ticks and Mr Goldfinger would have hit the jackpot". Plus everyone collapses from the "gas" far too quickly. The dispersal rate in the air to get to them would have been much greater... but then they were all playing along with the scheme so perhaps that explains the bad acting.

Does Bond end up in a romantic clinch in a boat: A new category due to the fact the first two Bond films ended this way. Did Goldfinger continue the trend? Not quite. Still ends with a smooch but they are hidden under a parachute instead.

I reviewed Goldfinger as part of my (500) Films of Empire challenge last year and stated that it was THE definitive Bond film. Will it still be the best when I reach the end of my time blogging along with Bond? Only time will tell.

Bond will return in April with Thunderball.

What SHOULD win at the Oscars on Sunday...

2011-02-24T07:59:00.001-08:00

I fully expect that the highly overrated film THE KING'S SPEECH to undeservedly clean up ahead of the most relevant film in years THE SOCIAL NETWORK and my own personal favourite film BLACK SWAN (which thankfully cleaned up at the Independent Spirit Awards last night). Therefore below is a list of the films and people that I think SHOULD actually win the little gold statuettes on Sunday night. For the purposes of my list I have included some people or films that weren't even nominated but I felt deserved recognition.

Do you agree or disagree?

Best Picture: THE SOCIAL NETWORK

Best Director: Christopher Nolan for INCEPTION.
I know he wasn't nominated but the Academy are clearly idiots. This man not only resurrected Batman but developed from scratch, a critically and commercially successful original blockbuster.

Best Actor: Ryan Reynolds for BURIED
What he did in that film is arguably even better than what James Franco does in 127 HOURS (basically carrying an entire film by himself while trapped in one location) but because hardly anyone saw it, he misses out on the glory. Consider him to be the Sam Rockwell of this year!

Best Actress: Natalie Portman for BLACK SWAN
A tour-de-force performance that thoroughly deserves every award going.

Best Supporting Actor: Justin Timberlake for THE SOCIAL NETWORK
I expect Bale to win for THE FIGHTER and that is fine with me, but a lot of people have moaned about the fact that Andrew Garfield was overlooked for his role as Eduardo Saverin in the Facebook movie but for me the bigger oversight was Timberlake being past over for his performance as a showboating, seductive entreprenuer who drives the wedge between Zuckerberg and Saverin. Proved he is not just a pop star!

Best Supporting Actress: Hailee Steinfield for TRUE GRIT
I know that she is actually the lead actress in the movie and that due to some tricksy campaign voting she has ended up here to give her more chance of winning. She was terrific in the film and more worthy than the other contenders but I would also be happy to see Jacki Weaver win for ANIMAL KINGDOM.

Best Original Screenplay: INCEPTION

Best Adapted Screenplay: THE SOCIAL NETWORK

Best Animated Film: TOY STORY 3

Best Foreign Language Film: OF GODS AND MEN
Another glaring oversight by the Academy. The best foreign language film of last year and oddly also features the use of Swan Lake, as heard in my other favourite film!

Best Cinematography: BLACK SWAN

Best Editing: A tie between THE SOCIAL NETWORK and SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD.

Best Original Score: THE SOCIAL NETWORK

Best Visual Effects: INCEPTION

Best Sound Editing/Mixing/Etc: BLACK SWAN (wasn't even nominated but it was the best)

To find out if I'm right in some of my picks, you'll have to watch the broadcast on Sky Movies tonight but if you are tired of Alex Zane talking about films during the advert breaks then tune into the Picturehouse Videcast with Sam, Simon, YourTurnHeather and Incredible Suit... and listen out for a voice appearance from myself!

BlogalongaBond #2 - From Russia With Love

2011-02-15T14:00:00.000-08:00

It's that time of the month again... no, not that time. Time for another slice of Bond and this time it's From Russia With Love, even though somewhat ironically Bond never visits Russia in the film!

Relevance of pre-credits sequence to rest of film: Very relevant. We see Bond trying to infiltrate a mansion only to be garotted by Red Grant (played by Robert Shaw). Only it turns out not to be Bond but a decoy and Grant has completed his training at SPECTRE. Set the standard for the rest of the series.

Bond song: Instrumental version of From Russia With Love (Matt Munro's silky smooth vocals appear at the end of the film).

Time elapsed before we hear the line "Bond... James Bond": He doesn't actually say it :(

Attractiveness of Bond girls: Tatiana is very pretty but awfully needy for my liking. Also she lost some of the mystique when I discovered that she had been dubbed over by someone else!

Best innuendo: Bond - You're one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen. Tatiana - Thank you, but I think my mouth is too big. Bond - No, it's the right size... for me, that is.

Best one-liner used when despatching an evil henchman:
[after Rosa Klebb is killed trying to stab Bond with her poisoned shoe knife] Tatiana - a horrible, horrible woman. Bond - Yes, she's had her kicks!

Best gadget: Q makes his first appearance in the series and provides Bond with a suitcase

Evilness of villain: Several villains in this film. The mostly unseen Number 1 (who will become Blofeld), the evil brain of Rosa Klebb and the brawn of Red Grant who is more than a match for Bond physically and is played with a roguish charm by Robert Shaw... but he shouldn't have had red wine with fish! Altogether a formidable trio and there is the feeling that Bond is in actual danger in this film.

Feasability of villain's evil scheme: Very feasible and achievable. SPECTRE plan to steal a Russian coding device from the government and then sell it back to them whilst killing Bond in the process to avenge the death of Dr. No.

Now this is what a "proper" Bond film should be. I haven't seen this film in years and had forgotten how good it was. For the time being, this is the Best Bond Film!!!

James Bond will return in March in Goldfinger.

Top Ten Films of 2011 - Week 7

2011-02-15T13:41:00.000-08:00

It has taken me a few weeks to actually see some more films this year. I'm puzzled by this but looking back at the film line up we have had, it has mostly been dominated by the same films The King's Speech and Black Swan (which I've actually seen five times now).
This week I have made up for my absence from the screen by seeing four new films. Once I catch Paul, I'll have a full ten films and then we can start the process of adding and deleting films from the exclusive club.

1. BLACK SWAN - 5 stars
"An absolute masterpiece and the first film to ever make me shed a tear"

2. TRUE GRIT - 4 stars
"The Rooster Abides in this effortless film from the Coens. Hailee Steinfield is 2011's Chloe Moretz"

3. ANIMAL KINGDOM - 4 stars
"A cracking family crime drama which is the best thing to come out of Oz since the Wizard"

4. THE FIGHTER - 4 stars
"Esquire called it 'The best boxing movie since Rocky'... not quite but certainly the best boxing movie since Rocky IV. Bale is on terrific form"

5. BLUE VALENTINE - 4 stars

6. THE KING'S SPEECH - 3 stars
"A good BBC drama elevated to overrated status thanks to some great performances"

7. 127 HOURS - 3 stars
"2011's BURIED... only not as good!"

8. NEVER LET ME GO - 2 stars
"I am quite happy to let this one go. Boring and insipid. As far as recent films about clones go, I actually preferred The Island!"

9. LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS - 2 stars

BlogalongaBond #1 - Dr. No

2011-01-20T15:00:00.000-08:00

This is my first entry in the blogging craze that is set to sweep the nation - Blog-A-Long-A-Bond. It was set up by the huge Bond fan The Incredible Suit after he realised that there were 22 months until the release of the next Bond film and 22 OFFICIAL Bond films available to watch. The plan is to watch one film a month until the release of Bond 23: Red Sky At Night, Shepherd's Delight or whatever they call it, and review each one on our blogs.

Check out the Facebook page dedicated to the challenge and the chance to read all the contributing bloggers thoughts on the original Bond film.

For my reviews, rather than doing the standard type of review where it describes the plot, complements the acting, action, etc... I will be rating each film on a number of elements that have become synonomous with the Bond series. So here we go...

Relevance of pre-credits sequence to rest of film: No pre-credit sequence :(

Bond song: No Bong song but instead the credits are set to the classic Bond theme composed by Monty Norman... no wait, John Barry... no wait, Monty Norman... no, John Barry... and on and on and on... It also has a bizarre Calypso version of Three Blind Mice before the action starts up again with three blind assassins... very odd.

Time elapsed before we hear the line "Bond... James Bond": 7 minutes 42 seconds

Attractiveness of Bond girls: There is an attractive wealthy woman playing cards with Bond, a white woman who is supposed to be of Asian origin (?!), and then Honey Ryder, who has the iconic entrance of coming out of the sea in that bikini, has a great name, looks good and shows some steel to her in what otherwise is a damsal in distress role.

Best innuendo: Honey Ryder - "Are you looking for seashells too?" Bond - "No, just looking"

Best one-liner used when despatching an evil henchman:

[Professor Dent tries to kill Bond, but his gun is out of bullets]
James Bond: That's a Smith & Wesson, and you've had your six.
[shoots Dent twice]

Best gadget: Q was not introduced in this film so Bond has to make do with a Geiger counter

Evilness of villain: Dr. No has no real physical presence in the film until 20 minutes from the end. Before that he is a shadowy figure that strikes fear into his minions and commuincates through elaborate methods and only by his voice. Having said that, physically he isn't a match for Bond and the end fight between them is over too quickly.

Feasability of villain's evil scheme: Only truly revealed too close to the end of the film to have any real threat or impact (and detailed to Bond in one of those now-cliched "I will tell you my entire plan over dinner before killing you" moments, Dr. No wants to interfere with a US space launch by using a radioactive radio signal. Feasibilty rating - slightly implausible and low on the death count

As you can tell from the examples provided, this was not a "classic" Bond in terms of the formula that we have come to know and love. Dr. No is more along the lines of the tricky first film where you have to spend time introducing us to the characters and the world that they inhabit. They do a fantastic job of building Bond's character who is cynical and sardonic, a no-nonsense killer when he needs to be, and isn't afraid to take the time to romance the ladies. And Connery is damn near perfect in the role.

James Bond will return in February in From Russia With Love.

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES casting news

2011-01-19T12:01:00.000-08:00

So Warner Bros have officially announced some of the casting for the new Batman film.

Man of the moment Tom Hardy will be playing Bane and hopefully Nolan can go someway to rectifying the horrendous treatment that the character went through during Batman & Robin.

Catwoman is much more contentious casting as my number one pick was:

Marion Cotillard

But she went and got herself pregnant ruling her out of the race.

Second choice was Natalie Portman...

but she went and got pregnant too.

So we are left with Nolan's choice of Anne Hathaway...

I'm a little hesistant about the casting but Rachel Getting Married showed she can do more than just be a goodie two-shoes and I know she'll look good in a catsuit (or out of one if Love And Other Drugs was anything to go by).

However the big casting news seems to have been missed by all the big movie websites but "official sources" claim that Nolan needed someone to help the film appeal to the kids and so teeny bopper sensation Justin Bieber will be playing Robin (OMFG!!!!)

Top Ten Films of 2011 - week 2

2011-01-17T15:44:00.000-08:00

Week 2 of the cinematic year saw The Belmont (and every other cinema in the UK) under siege from the masses flocking in to see The King's Speech. I was expecting it to be a success but to continually have audiences of 100+ every screening is amazing. The last time we had such a popular film, ironically it was probably The Queen!

Anyway, here is my updated list for 2011 so far.

1. BLACK SWAN - 5 stars

2. BLUE VALENTINE - 4 stars

3. THE KING'S SPEECH - 3 stars

4. 127 HOURS - 3 stars

5. LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS - 2 stars

BLUE VALENTINE review

2011-01-14T08:26:00.000-08:00

The tagline for Blue Valentine is "a love story for anyone who has ever been in love" and this film is an incredibly honest look at a crumbling relationship that will connect with anyone who has experienced the first flush of love or the pain of rejection.

Every story has a beginning, a middle and an end... and so does every relationship.
Movies predominantly deal with either the beginning or the end of the romance, never the middle. It is the beginning and end that define a relationship and Valentine skillfully intercuts the disintegration of a marriage, with the initial courtship between the two lovers.
By doing this, it makes the break up more painful to witness but also providing reasons as to why it was doomed from the start.

Using this narrative structure, the audience don't get to see the everyday life that Dean and Cindy had and therefore it is left open to your own interpretation as to whose fault it is that the marriage is on the rocks.

Dean is initially more sympathetic in the audiences' eyes as he is funny and charming during the romance and tries to make an effort to save his marriage, yet as the film plays out you can see Cindy's point of view that his carefree attitude and lack of ambition is incredibly frustrating to cope with.

The reason that there is such empathy towards the couple is down to the performances of Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams. Both are excellent and show a real spark and connection at the start and convince that they have lived together so long that the love has slipped away. Williams in particular excels during the later scenes as she has the tougher job of turning audience sympathy towards her.
Special mention should also go to the adorable girl who played their daughter. So cute.

Most of the publicity surrounding the film has been about a pivotal sex scene that highlights the fact that there is no way back for the couple. It is difficult to watch as Williams gives in to Gosling's requests for sex but it still feels forced and makes for uncomfortable viewing. The MPAA in US gave it the dreaded NC-17 rating, giving it a higher rating than Saw 3D which is quite frankly ridiculous (this is the same organisation that gave The King's Speech a R for strong language).
Thankfully after years of ridicule, the BBFC have finally got their act together and started rating films properly so it got a 15 rating.

However the more interesting sex scene in Blue Valentine involves a tongue. It is the third film in the last couple of months to feature a scene involving cunnilingus (the others being The American and Black Swan). It seems that adding a shot of someone going down on a woman is the arthouse independent equivalent of retrofitting a blockbuster into 3D. It worked for other films so we should put one in our film to make more money.

A film with much to recommend it, but just don't make it a first date movie as it will probably put you off your potential romance for life!

4 stars

The Top Ten Films of 2011 - week 1

2011-01-07T11:57:00.000-08:00

I decided something when I was doing my Top Ten list for 2010. I realised that I was spending ages looking back through lists and ticket stubs, etc to try and remember all the films I had seen that year in order to try and decide what the top ten were. I realised that it would be much easier to chart the top ten throughout the year, thus saving myself a lot of time come December.
So each week, I'll update my top ten to include films I have watched that week.
Here goes (note there are only 3 films at the moment as that is all I have seen so far!)

1. BLACK SWAN - 5 stars
"If Polanski ever directed a mash-up of The Red Shoes, All About Eve, Suspiria and Showgirls, the result would be Black Swan. A dark, disturbing masterpiece with a career best performance by Natalie Portman. Her final dance as the black swan is one of the greatest things I have ever seen in my life."

2. THE KING'S SPEECH - 3 stars
"a safe, run-of-the-mill BBC drama elevated to cinematic status due to the great performances of its cast"

3. 127 HOURS - 3 stars
"Great performance by Franco as a man stuck between a rock & a film that has visual, aural & editing ADHD"

THE KING'S SPEECH review

2011-01-07T11:28:00.000-08:00

The King is lost for words... but Colin Firth hopefully won't be when he wins the Best Actor Oscar next month (that he should have received last year for A SINGLE MAN) and can finally lay the ghost of Mr Darcy to rest.

THE KING'S SPEECH is the current frontrunner for the upcoming awards season (and also looks like it will be The Belmont's biggest moneyspinner since MAMMA MIA).

Why? Is it a better film than THE SOCIAL NETWORK? Not by a long shot. Is it more Oscar friendly? Absolutely!

Here is a British film that is based on a true events, has a historical setting, thespians get to play real people and Firth gets to play a real life person with a disability/affliction (double win) and there are no mentions of Facebook anywhere.

But is it any good? After all, Oscar doesn't always get it right. While it has terrific performances, lovely production design, a nice script and all that, it does suffer from a problem that affected the last great British monarch drama, THE QUEEN. It does have the feeling that if it didn't have such a great cast, you could easily have watched this on BBC1 at 9.00 on a Sunday evening in the comfort of your own living room.

A British film made by-the-numbers to tick as many boxes as possible to appeal to as wide an audience as possible. Congratulations, you succeeded, but I wish that you hadn't played it so safe.

3 stars

127 HOURS in 127 WORDS!

2011-01-07T10:40:00.000-08:00

127 HOURS is the true story of Aron Ralston who literally found himself between a rock and a hard place facing the decision stay there and die or cut off his arm in order to escape and live.
A terrific central performance by James Franco is almost lost underneath the incredible visual and aural assault to the senses perpetrated by Danny Boyle, who seems to believe he must use every camera and editing trick in the director’s playbook to keep the story interesting for the audience.
A good, disarming film but to see how a story like this can be done more effectively, buy or rent the excellent BURIED, that features nothing but Ryan Reynolds in a coffin for 96 minutes, when it’s released on 14th February.

2010: The Year In Review

2010-12-22T16:08:00.000-08:00

As the year draws to a close, all film journalists/bloggers/fans like to procrastinate and list their favourite films.

Drawing up the top ten is always difficult because you normally battle back and forth over what films will miss the cut... but this year it has been tough to find ten films to put on the list!

I have said it before, and many people seem to have the same opinion... 2010 has been a pretty poor year in terms of quality. For every rare spark of originality like Inception, there was just further proof that Hollywood suffers from an over-reliance on sour sequels (Sex And The City 2, Iron Man 2, Predators), rank remakes (Clash Of The Titans, A Nightmare On Elm Street) and trying to create an 80's revival (The A-Team, Karate Kid, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, Hot Tub Time Machine) and the horrid reality that Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer (Vampires Suck) continue to be allowed to make films

What follows is my Top Ten Films Of 2010 (which are films that had their UK release in 2010. Otherwise Black Swan would have been top of the list) plus a bunch of other random awards.

1. Inception

2. The Social Network

3. Toy Story 3

4. A Single Man

5. Scott Pilgrim Vs The World

6. Buried

7. Catfish

8. Shutter Island

9. A Prophet

10. Of Gods And Men

Best Performance - Ryan Reynolds in Buried

It's this year's Sam Rockwell in Moon performance in that it won't be recognised by any of the Awards ceremonies but Reynolds single handedly engaged an audience for 90 minutes whilst stuck in a coffin. He runs the entire spectrum of emotions and really connects with the audience to the point that you completely empathise with him come the conclusion of the film.

Honorable Mention - Leonardo DiCaprio for two great performances in Shutter Island and Inception.

Best Director - Christopher Nolan for Inception

The best blockbuster of the year: original, thought provoking, entertaining. Nolan should be praised for showing Hollywood that audiences are willing to embrace original films as long as they are made this well.

Best Screenplay - The Social Network

I would put my life savings (which isn't all that much but it's the thought that counts) on Aaron Sorkin winning the Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay. He manages to recreate the sharp as a tack dialogue from The West Wing... but most importantly he makes a movie about Facebook genuinely thrilling and interesting.

Best Poster - (500) Films of Empire

It is probably poor form to award the best poster to my own event but the guys at head office did such a wonderful job creating this image of The Godfather using pictures from every single film that I watched for the challenge.

Best BluRay/DVD - Scott Pilgrim Versus The World

A great film is given a first rate blu ray treatment with stunning picture and sound quality but also hours of bonus footage and FOUR audio commentaries that reveal the incredible level of detail and passion that Edgar Wright has invested in the best comic book movie of the year.

Guilty Pleasure - Piranha 3D

Storytelling and characterisation at its most basic, dodgy 3D effects and even dodgier acting but I'll admit that I really enjoyed this. It was ridiculous, but it worked because it knew it. It had a great Jaws spoof at the beginning, a gorgeous (and naked in 3D) Kelly Brook, and it was refreshing to see a horror film that took pride in having an 18 rating. Some of the deaths were so OTT that I was laughing out loud in the cinema (getting weird looks from other cinemagoers in the process).

Best Use of CGI in a movie - The Winklevii in The Social Network

Fincher (like Christopher Nolan) knows how to use CGI to enhance a storyline not become it, and it is still hard to believe that they are not identical twins but Armie Hammer's face digitally grafted onto another person's body in some scenes. Flawless.

Unfortunately the worst use of CGI was also in The Social Network, with some terrible CG cold breath left over from Titanic being used in an outdoor conversation between Eisenberg and Garfield.

Best Song - Black Sheep by Metric (from Scott Pilgrim Vs The World)

Honorable Mention: BRAAAAAAAHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMM from Inception

Best Breakthrough Performance - Chloe Moretz in Kick-Ass

"Alright you c*nts, let's see what you can do know". Boom, a star is born. No other actor this year made such an immediate impact as Chloe Moretz did as the foul-mouthed, deadly but pint-sized assassin Hit-Girl. Slicing and dicing her way through a room full of drug dealers to the Banana Splits theme tune made her an instant fan favourite but with the remake of Let The Right One In, she has shown that she has the acting ability to become the next Natalie Portman or Jodie Foster

Best Cinema Audience - The Room

Not since the Star Wars special editions releases in 1997 have I seen an audience so in tune with a film that it turned a truly terrible film into a "must see" cult classic. Spoons were thrown, people screamed "You're tearing me apart" and everyone had a blast. Can't wait till we can screen it again.

Best Fight Scene - The hotel corridor fight in Inception

Full marks to Nolan for achieving all of this dizzying fight in camera, using old-school practical effects. Bonus points go to Joseph Gordon Levitt for doing 99% of the stunt work himself.

Honorable Mention: Hit-Girl's night vision goggle raid on the warehouse (cut beautifully to John Murphy's Sunshine score)

The "They don't make them like that anymore" Award - Back To The Future (re-release)

What Really Grinds My Gears - The "Avatar Effect"

Thanks to the financial success of Avatar, cinemagoing audiences have been forced to endure poor quality films (Alice In Wonderland, Titans, Last Airbender) being retrofitted with 3D which not only made the finished film look dull and lifeless but bumped an extra couple of quid on the already high ticket price.

Hopefully this trend has ended now that Harry Potter 7 refused to put out the film in 3D since it was ready yet.

Either film the entire thing in 3D from the outset or don't bother at all!

My Own Personal Favourite Cinematic Moment of 2010

When the end credits rolled on The Godfather that meant I had finally completed (500) Films of Empire.

Anyway let the debate begin. I am right in my views or have I got it completely wrong. I'm sure you will let me know if I have!

BLACK SWAN - This swan is certainly no ugly duckling

2010-12-16T11:24:00.000-08:00

It would be perfectly normal to see a performance of Swan Lake greeted with a standing ovation at the climax of the show, but a standing ovation in a cinema is rarely seen outside of the Cannes Film Festival. However this is precisely what I wanted to give Black Swan when the end credits rolled on this fabulous film... but I didn't. I wasn't at a film festival, but in the middle of a crowded cinema in New York and I would have felt like a bit of an idiot clapping on my own!

In a year of overhyped cinematic disappointments, it was a delight to find a film that actually exceeded expectations, helped by the fact that I had only watched the teaser trailer and seen the gorgeous poster campaign.

Darren Aronofsky returns to the world of performance that he explored in The Wrestler but transfers the action from the wrestling ring to the ballet stage, examining the price that someone is willing to pay in order to succeed.

Natalie Portman plays Nina Sears; a young, up-and-coming ballerina who is picked to play the lead role in a new production of Swan Lake.
Whilst she is perfect for the fragile, innocent Swan Queen, her director (played with sleazy charm by Vincent Cassel) worries that she does not have the passion or sensuality needed to portray the Black Swan.
As Nina gets deeper and deeper into the role, she begins to lose her grip on reality, afraid that her understudy Lily is after her part, as she embodies the freedom and sexuality that Nina craves.

While The Wrestler was shot in the style of a documentary, Black Swan is a full blown, unashamed psychological thriller.

When I first saw the trailer, I thought the look and feel of the film as "if Polanski had directed a hybrid of The Red Shoes and Suspiria" and I wasn't wrong in my assumptions.
As Nina's darker side of her personality emerges, it manifests itself both mentally and physically as she is plagued by visions of a doppleganger and even undergoes some disturbing physical transformations in scenes that are a clear nod to David Cronenberg's The Fly.

Aronofsky delved into a nightmarish world in Requiem For A Dream and has crafted a film that slowly ramps up the tension to a point where this film is scarier than the majority of horror films released this year. The use of handheld camera creates a palpable sense of unease that trickles through the film like Nina's growing sense of paranoia and persecution.
By using the camera in this way, neither Nina or the audience are able to distinguish what is real and what is in Nina's head.

As Nina learns to become less inhibited, it triggers not only changes in her personality but also a sexual awakening: starting with seduction by her director, to pleasuring herself and culminating in the only scene this year that features Meg from Family Guy going down on Queen Amidala (and destined to become the main talking point of many reviews).
A lot of the film's humour comes from these scenes and the dialogue would not seem out of place in Showgirls, but it never descends into sleaze and that is due to the performances of the actors.

Natalie Portman delivers the performance of her career and must be the front runner for the Best Actress Oscar in February.
Like the ugly duckling that transformed into a swan, Portman undergoes a magnificent metamorphisis.
She begins the film as a placid, innocent "sweet girl". Her protective and domineering mother (played by Barbara Hershey in full-on Mommie Dearest mode) has denied her a proper childhood, instead putting all her focus into her dancing, in an attempt to live out her dreams through her daughter.
Until now Portman has done well with roles that captured her ingenuity like Leon and Beautiful Girls but this is her first truly grown up performance reaching a level of maturity and confidence previously hinted at in Closer.
Her final dance as the Black Swan is a truly mesmerising scene to watch and completely becomes the character, leaving the old Nina behind.

It would be a crime to review the film without commenting on the ballet sequences. “it’s been done to death, I know, but not like this. We’re going to strip it down and make it visceral and real” says Cassel's character early on in the film and that is what they have done with the choreography here, all beautifully underscored by Clint Mansell who also puts his own spin on the classic Tchaikovsky. Portman and Kunis deserve huge credit for doing the majority of the dancing themselves.
I will hold my hands up and say that I am not a huge ballet fan and don't know much about the technical side of it, but I became swept up in the story being told through the dance and was nearly shed a tear during the final number... and since I have never cried at a film that is a bold statement.

Portman's final line of the film is "I was perfect" and she was. I rarely use the "M" word to describe a film, especially a new release but Black Swan is that rare beast in Hollywood these days: A Masterpiece.

1001 Films To Watch Before I Die: La Vie En Rose

2010-11-29T11:47:00.000-08:00

Can I just start by asking if it is written into law with the French Film Industry that in order for a film to be made, it MUST star Gerard Depardieu... he's in bloody everything. Sacre Bleu!

In many ways this is your typical by-the-numbers celebrity biopic that charts the many highs and lows, in this case many lows, of Edith Piaf.

What saves it from mediocrity is the performance of Marion Cotillard. Not only is she one of the most beautiful women in the world, has a voice that could make a wolverine purr, but was also the only watchable thing in the terrible musical Nine. She was certainly more deserving of an Oscar nomination for that film than Penelope Cruz.

Speaking of Oscar, she won Best Actress for her performance as 'The Little Sparrow' with the big voice, and she is truly astonishing as Piaf, playing her from a teenager to the frail women who died at the age of 48.

Now Oscar loves nothing more than when actors play real people and Piaf's life gives Cotillard the opportunity to express the entire range of human emotions from the joy of her initial success to the anguish of the death of her lover to the pain of her illness.

It also gives her the chance to 'make herself ugly' and undergo a physical transformation, which of course worked wonders for Charlize Theron in Monster.

In all the celebrity biopics out there, they always feature scenes where the person breaks down due to problems with drink, drugs, people, success, etc. You never see films about straight-edged celebrities who lived a nice quiet life and were a goody two-shoes. And why? Because it wouldn't make a very exciting movie. You need conflict.

The main conflict that I have now with this film is with Piaf's most iconic song 'Non Je Ne Regrette Rien'. The conflict lies in its use by Christopher Nolan and Hans Zimmer as the trigger song in Inception, especially as the film stars Marion Cotillard.

The film ends with this song and features images of Piaf on her death bed and because of the way my mind works, I was wondering when the 'kick' was going to come and she wakes up from the dream!

Top 5 acting performances by musicians

1. Mark Wahlberg in The Departed

2. David Bowie in Labyrinth

3. Will Smith in Ali

4. Justin Timberlake in The Social Network

5. Stacy Ferguson in Planet Terror

1001 Films To Watch Before I Die - ONCE

2010-11-27T06:19:00.000-08:00

This film feels like an album brought to life, detailing the story and inspiration behind the songs in this tale of unrequited love between an Irish busker and a Czech immigrant that unfolds in an organic way that feels completely real and the songs provide a voice to the feelings and emotions of the characters that they cannot express normally.

Musicians Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova both give natural performances and have a genuine chemistry that lifts the film to rise above what could have become a stereotypical romance.

84 minutes of feelgood film that you'll definitely want to watch more than Once (sorry).

Top 5 Songs That Were Robbed of the Best Song Oscar

Falling Slowly won the Best Song Oscar in 2007 but poor Marketa was robbed of the opportunity to say her thank yous by an over-zealous band and a production team running over, and what followed was one of Oscars sweetest moments as host Jon Stewart brought her back on stage later on to say thanks. Speaking of injustice at the Oscars, here are five songs which deserved to win over the bland generic winners. Stupid Academy!

1. Blame Canada from South Park: The Movie

What did win? You'll Be In My Heart by Phil Collins from Tarzan

2. The Power Of Love by Huey Lewis And The News from Back To The Future

What did win? Say You, Say Me by Lionel Richie from White Nights

3. Ghostbusters from Ghostbusters

What did win? I Just Called To Say I Love You by Stevie Wonder from The Woman In Red

4. Nobody Does It Better by Carly Simon from The Spy Who Loved Me

What did win? You Light Up My Life by Joseph Brooks from You Light Up My Life

5. Listen from Dreamgirls

What did win? I Need To Wake Up from An Inconvenient Truth

1001 Films To Watch Before I Die: The Wrestler

2010-11-23T15:41:00.000-08:00

On the surface this could have just been another film in the long line of cliched sports films about a former great star who is given one final shot at the big time. Thanks to a terrific performance from its leading man and Darren Aronofsky's decision to take a pseudo-documentary feel to the cinematography means that it manages to transcend the cliches to create a genuinely affecting movie that is not only one of the best in the sports genre but also the best film about wrestling (but that probably isn't too difficult).

I will admit at the beginning that I was a huge fan of wrestling when I was growing up (and I still keep an interest in it despite being unable to follow it as much since I don't have Sky Sports at my flat). This meant that my enjoyment of The Wrestler probably differed from the average moviegoer who had no interest in the antics of Hulk Hogan et all.

And so I'll review the film from the aspect of a wrestling fan rather than a film fan. After all there are loads of reviews about the film. Check Rotten Tomatoes to read some of them.

During the nineties when the popularity of WWE/WWF (damn pandas) was at its peak, there was the debate about whether wrestling was "fake" and inspired more heated debates than whether Santa Claus was real or not.
Yes, wrestling is fake, in that the results of the matches are pre-determined but it is very real in terms of the punishment that their bodies go through during the matches. And to the credit of the film it doesn't shy away from these aspects. This expose into the "real" world of wrestling is the film that Vince McMahon would not have wanted you to see.
On one side we see the backstage conversations between the wrestlers as the plot out the matches and the big spots they will use to wow the crowds, then it is followed by the aftermath of a Extreme Rules match where they are getting stitches and superglued after using barbed wire and the old "blading" trick, complete with authentic "holy shit" chants.
Mickey Rourke is fantastic as Randy The Ram, bringing his own past into the role whilst echoing certain characters from the world of wrestling including the Ultimate Warrior and Ric Flair.
He shows the emotional and physical pain that wrestlers put their bodies through, sometimes long after they really should have retired and the fame is gone and they wrestle for a few hundred fans in a community centre.
It is the reaction from the crowd that drives them on, as witnessed in the final moving scene where Randy addresses the fans before wrestling one last match that might kill him. It is all the more painful when thinking of real wrestlers like Eddie Guerrero and Davey Boy Smith who died at a young age of heart attacks, possibly brought on by the pressures on their bodies and steroid use.

Here is the first top 5 list, obviously inspired by High Fidelity which also inspired the name of the blog, and not taken from the feature currently on BBC Film 2010!

Top 5: Performances by a wrestler in a film

1. Jesse Ventura in PREDATOR
This was a no contest in terms of the top spot, there could only be one winner and that goes to Jesse "The Body" Ventura. Not only is he as physically imposing as Arnold, but he actually became a US Governer before the hulking Austrian but he nearly manages to steal the film from him as Blain, a Navy Seal so hard that he carries one of the coolest weapons in the history of cinema, Ole' Painless: a friggin' chain gun that is normally attached to the side of a helicopter.
He also gets some of the best lines in the film including the immortal "I ain't got time to bleed".

2. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in BE COOL
The best thing by a country mile in a bad film that was a terrible sequel to the great GET SHORTY. The performance proved to Hollywood that he could act outside of the squared circle, but it wasn't too much of a stretch for him as he played a Samoan bodyguard who wants to be an actor and has a trick of raising an eyebrow. Well Elmore Leonard did write the character based on The Rock!

3. Rowdy Roddy Piper in THEY LIVE
He came here to chew bubble gum and kick ass and he's all out of bubble gum. One of the first wrestlers to make the crossover to movies after Hulk Hogan and he brings that fast talking sass that worked in Piper's Pit to this battle against an alien invasion which features one of the greatest fight scenes of all time.

4. Andre The Giant in THE PRINCESS BRIDE
Nicknamed the Eighth Wonder Of The World due to his size, he was never the most nimble of wrestlers but his bulk and presence were perfect for Fezzik, the hulking brute with a heart of gold in this fairytale classic.

5. George The Animal Steele in ED WOOD
The only performance on the list where the wrestler plays a wrestler, Steele played Tor Johnson who became part of Ed Wood's cast and crew during the years that would make such classics as Plan 9 From Outer Space.

So what do you think? Agree? Disagree? Mortified by the lack of Hulk Hogan on the list? Let me know, feedback always appreciated.

1001 Films To Watch Before I Die

2010-11-23T15:39:00.000-08:00

Well it has been two months since I completed the epic (500) Films Of Empire challenge... and to be quite honest, I have missed it!

I have been working so much recently that I've had hardly any time to watch and enjoy films, and that needs to change.

So I have decided to work my way through the 1001 Films To Watch Before You Die as my next foray into the film challenge world.

Now before you all tell me I'm crazy, I have a much better timescale for this one i.e. before I die, which I can only hope is a long time off yet. Also anything that I have already watched as part of (500) Films of Empire will count.

Every film watched will be reviewed and in the spirit of High Fidelity, I'll throw in a Top 5 list based on an aspect of the film.

District Mine - An Ace In The Hole

2010-10-13T03:21:00.000-07:00

Today's big news story is the rescue of the 33 Chilean miners who have been trapped in a cave-in for what seems like forever. Now while it is great news that they are finally getting out, the way my mind works is that it immediately reminded me of one of the films that I had watched for (500) Films of Empire called Ace In The Hole. It concerned an unscrupulous out-of-work journalist who was first at the scene of a man trapped in a cave-in and delayed and manipulated the rescue attempts in order that he could build the story to sell to the press.

Now of course I'm not saying that this is the case here but it does have a hint of life imitating art imitating life, with Sky News apparently having a countdown from 33 to 1 as the miners come out.

It is a forgotten gem of a film that anyone who has been following the current news events should watch. It is tough to track down but is available on iTunes.

385 - Ace In The Hole - 4 stars

As I head towards the finishing line, I am seeing a lot of the highly rated so called 'classics' of cinema, so it is nice that the Top 500 can still throw up a relatively unseen gem like Ace In The Hole.

Also called The Big Carnival it revolves around Tatum, a ruthless journalist who exploits the situation when a man gets trapped in a cave-in so that it becomes a media circus that he has control over.

There seems to be a theme running through this list that all the films that deal with journalism, depict journalist as unscrupulous, amoral douchebags who will do anything to get ahead (Sweet Smell Of Success, Network).

Now we all this type of story. A heartless cynic exploits someone for their own advantage before eventually revealing a heart of gold and learns the error of their ways.

But in the hands of Billy Wilder, who also wrote and directed Double Indemnity and Sunset Boulevard which hardly show people as beacons of light, and Kirk Douglas, that character arc never seems like coming before it will be too late.

Douglas delivers another great performance and has terrific screen presence. Tatum is a nasty piece of work; self-absorbed, he exploits people, not afraid to slap a woman, a hard drinker and totally heartless, but Douglas does his best to make the audience empathise and connect with his character nontheless.

To say anymore about the story could risk spoiling the film, so instead just seek out this cracking little gem of a film and another example of the old saying "They don't make 'em like that anymore".

Ten reasons why you should "LIKE" The Social Network

2010-10-11T02:49:00.001-07:00

Initially I had quite a bit of sceptisism about The Social Network, or as most people simply refer to it "the Facebook movie". After all, most films based on computer games are terrible so what hope could there be for a film based on a computer website?

Well the odds have been well and truly defied, as David Fincher has delivered one of, if not the film of the year. Inception currently is my number one film but Social Network may eclipse it after a second viewing.

Below are ten reasons why everyone should get past the stigma of "the movie about Facebook" and watch The Social Network.

1. The opening scene

It is the best opening scene since Inglourious Basterds and these five minutes are better than most of the films that have been released in 2010. It tells you everything you need to know about Zuckerberg and that the man who created the biggest social network in the world cannot interact socially himself. The crackling dialogue that cracks back and forth between Zuckerberg and his girlfriend who is breaking up with him has the feeling of a Forties film that many argue "they don't write them like that anymore", but this proves that they can.

2. Aaron Sorkin

The man responsible for the script and the wonderful dialogue is the man behind The West Wing and should start using his talent to write his acceptance speech for the Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay. Anyone who can deliver a 160 page screenplay that zips by in 2 hours deserves the plaudits (the rule of thumb for screenplay is that each page equates to a minute of screen time).

3. Jesse Eisenberg

He is the thinking man's Michael Cera and with his portrayal of Mark Zuckerberg is fantastic and should mean that he will escape Cera's fate of being accused of always playing himself. In the past Jesse has always played likeable, nervous geeks but Zuckerberg (in this film) is not a particularly likeable character and Eisenberg really raises his game to give him a coldness to his eyes that while emotionless on the outside, you can see that internally he is processing things like a computer.

4. David Fincher

He has really matured and this is his most complete film since Zodiac. He has forgone his traditional love of striking, complicated visual trickery that overwhelmed Panic Room and Button and focused on the story to deliver a drama that moves at the pace of a thriller and feels like truly effortless filmmaking.

5. The score
Trent Reznor was responsible for one of the most famous music cues in recent film history with his "Hello Zepp" cue from Saw which has been used in every one of the 102 sequels since, but working with Atticus Ross, they have delivered a fantastic electronic score that generates the hum and buzz of computers and evokes memories of the score to Fight Club, also by Fincher.

6. The new Spider-Man, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and that kid from N*Sync are in it
Use this as a chance to see the talents of Andrew Garfield, Rooney Mara who will take on these iconic roles next year, and also proof that JT can actually act, proving a great choice to play the sleazy, seductive Sean Parker whose influence drives a wedge between Mark and Eduardo.

7. Citizen Kane

Some reviewers have made comparisons to "the greatest film ever made" which is a very risky thing to do, but I believe they are valid. Like Kane, this is a story about a man made up from testimonies of other people so you never get to know the real Mark Zuckerberg. It even has a nice Rosebud style moment at the end of the film that might explain his motivations.

8. The Winklevoss Twins.

It has been said that CGI should only be used to enhance the story, not become the story and in The Social Network, Fincher has one of the best and most subtle uses of CGI in recent memory. The twins are credited as Armie Hammer and Josh Pence but really these identical twins both have the head, face and voice of Armie Hammer which was digitally grafted onto the body of Josh Pence. Watch the film and you will hardly be able to notice the effect.

9. It makes scenes of people sitting around using computers interesting and exciting!

10. It shows that geeks who create websites getting success, money and getting laid.

I hope that the same is true for myself and my blog!

Unstoppable... but only for 100 minutes, therefore it will eventually stop!

2010-10-08T06:04:00.000-07:00

Potential False Advertising Alert: If Unstoppable's running time is even slightly over or under 100 minutes I will be extremely annoyed!

The Show Must Go On...

2010-10-07T06:10:00.000-07:00

Now that my (500) Films of Empire challenge is over, I am spending most of my spare time rehearsing for a couple of musical theatre productions and am using my blog in a shameless attempt to sell tickets to the shows!

First up I will be playing Lt. Brannigan in Guys and Dolls at Aberdeen Arts Centre from Wed 20th - Sat 23rd October at 7.30pm.

Tickets can be bought from Aberdeen Box Office.

Then a couple of weeks later I'll be part of the cast of The Producers performing at His Majesty's Theatre from Wed 3rd - Sat 6th November at 7.30pm.

I guarantee that this will be one of the best amateur productions that you will ever see.

If you need any more convincing there will be a giant dancing swastika and I will be dressed as a Nazi, an old lady and a member of the Village people, all in one evening.

Tickets for that can also be bought from the box office.

Hopefully I will see some of you there.

I have a bad feeling about this...

2010-10-06T02:59:00.000-07:00

Last night I finally managed to watch Fanboys, the Star Wars comedy that had been delayed for several years thanks to the Galactic Empire otherwise known as Harvey Weinstein.

The story concerns a group of die-hard Star Wars fans who have drifted apart but join forces to travel across America in 1998 to steal a copy of The Phantom Menace so their friend who is dying of cancer can see it before he dies.

What follows is a standard teenage road trip movie where a large percentage of the usual "dick and fart jokes" and naked breasts are substituted for geeky Star Wars references, celebrity cameos and an on-going battle with a group of Trekkies.

This film should have been a Star Wars geek's wet dream, the movie that any fan would have wanted to make.

But unfortunately it isn't.

The film struggles to find a cohesive tone with the main culprit being the cancer part of the storyline. It drifts in and out of the film and doesn't provide enough emotional weight until too late in the film. This is due to interference by Harvey who wanted to excise the entire subplot.

However what was most disappointing was the discovery that my love affair with Star Wars is over :-(

I should have loved all the repeated lines, using the Jedi mind trick to get a girl to remove her clothes, et all, but it all fell a little flat with me.

The problem was that while trying to evoke the nostalgia of how we all loved the original trilogy, it just brought to the surface all the feelings of disappointment of the final results of the prequels.

That being said, it did have a fantastic final line as the group finally sit down to watch The Phantom Menace, one of the guys turns to the others and says "Dude, what if it sucks?"... and there is the bonus of seeing Kristen Bell dressed as Princess Leia in the slave girl bikini.

Shut Up Meg!

2010-09-30T16:28:00.000-07:00

Today I watched a couple of episodes of Family Guy and also the movie Extract.

Now I've known for years but it still baffles me that Meg Griffin aka this:

is voiced by Mila Kunis, aka this:

R.I.P. Tony Curtis & Sally Menke

2010-09-30T02:52:00.000-07:00

Sad news to wake up to this morning to read that Tony Curtis had passed away which followed on from the death of Sally Menke, Tarantino's editor earlier this week. Both extremely talented individuals in their own right who will be sorely missed.

Tony Curtis is someone who's work I wasn't too familiar with until I did my (500) Films of Empire challenge. Till that point the only Tony Curtis I really knew was the old, slightly senile, man in a wheelchair who would appear on The One Show and tell amusing rambling anecdotes of his time in Hollywood. Thanks to the challenge however, I got to see him give three terrific performances in Spartacus, Some Like It Hot, and his best ever role as Sidney Falco, a slimy, sycophantic press agent in Sweet Smell Of Success.

Sally Menke edited every single Tarantino film from Reservoir Dogs to Inglourious Basterds. She was probably more responsible than anyone for trying to reign in QT in terms of action and pacing and helped define his style as a writer/director. Together they were as important a director/editor team as Scorsese/Schoonmaker.

Tarantino's future films will have a different feel to them but we can be thankful for the ones we already have. Below is a video where QT talks about the importance of their collaboration and some more great "hello Sally's".

The Look Of Love

2010-09-29T02:42:00.000-07:00

I received the new quad poster for LET ME IN at the cinema today:

It immediately reminded me of another poster:

Which in turn, reminds a lot of people of this poster:

What is it about forbidden love that requires the central couple to stare down at the floor over each other's shoulders?

Are there any other examples of this phenomenon out there on cinema walls somewhere?

Film Killed The Video Game Star

2010-09-23T07:26:00.000-07:00

Today I watched the greatest film ever made that was based on a video game... in fact, it is the ONLY great film based on a video game.

That film was The King Of Kong: A Fistful Of Quarters. It is a documentary about the rivalry between two gamers looking to set the world record score on Donkey Kong.

A fascinating and entertaining look at how seriously some of these gamers (most of whom are your stereotypical nerds who clearly are all still virgins) take their 'sport', and it plays out like a classic sports underdog movie as newcomer Steve Wiebe looks to take on the shadowy and mysterious Billy Mitchell (who seems like a character from Dodgeball).

Hollywood still enjoys making movies based on video games because they believe that there is a huge built in audience. Despite the fact that throughout the years, they have all ranged from OK (Tomb Raider, Doom) to awful (Super Mario Brothers, Street Fighter, everything else).

The one that really should have worked was Resident Evil. Resident Evil 2 is still my all time favourite game and a film series based on the games about a zombie outbreak is a perfect cinematic setup but Paul W.S. Anderson failed to translate it to the big screen.

What is the secret to making a great film based on a video game? Make it about the video game and not based on the video game. If you do a straight adaptation you will end up with a terrible film that nine times out of ten has been directed by Uwe Boll.

I'm quivering with an-tic-i-pation

2010-09-22T16:57:00.000-07:00

With (500) Films of Empire now a distant memory, I now have only new films to focus my attention on.
But with 2010 so far proving a less-than-stellar year so far in terms of quality, what is there left to get excited about (especially since most of the great stuff being featured at the upcoming LFF isn't released until 2011).

1. Black Swan - I'm in New York during December and will use that opportunity to see this gorgeous looking film that was the talk of Venice.
2. The Social Network - Fincher tells the story behind Facebook. Like.
3. Let Me In - well my feelings on that are here
4. Back To The Future - Yep, this year is so bad that one of my highlights is a film that is 25 years old!
5. Buried - 94 minutes of Ryan Reynolds trapped in a coffin that doesn't resort to flashbacks or dream sequences to escapes the confines of the space. Excited.

Let The Wrong One In?

2010-09-22T03:36:00.000-07:00

Something has been troubling me for some time now.

I'm referring to Let Me In, the completely unnecessary Hollywood remake of my favourite film of 2009, Let The Right One In, but has worryingly now become one of my most highly anticipated films of the year.

When I first heard of the news of the remake, my reaction was similar to everyone else:

"How dare they remake this film! Yet another example of Hollywood remaking a great foreign language film because most Brits and Americans are too lazy and/or dumb to read subtitles."

In fact at Empire Movie-Con back in August (in a very smart move by the producers), the adorable Chloe Moretz introduced two scenes from the film. She was so lovely that it stopped any bad feeling towards the remake... well almost! During a quick Q&A afterwards someone who shall remain nameless (sorry Neil ;) ) expressed his anger at the remake. Unwise since it wasn't her idea, or maybe it was:

Producer - "After the success of Kick-Ass you can do any movie you want. What will it be?"

Chloe - "You know what? I'd love to remake that Swedish vampire movie"

Plus she is Hit-Girl. I wouldn't provoke a 13 year old girl who can kill you with a butterfly knife!

I myself am usually the first person to get up on his high horse about Hollywood having such a lack of ideas that all they can do is remake other films, or moan about how people are missing out on superior quality films by rejecting any film just because it has subtitles.

For every good remake like The Departed or The Ring, we also get the bad (Dinner For Schmucks, The Eye, Pulse, any J-Horror remake really), to the pointless (Funny Games, Quarantine).

My overall feelings on the final film could depend on the handling of certain aspects of the story from both the original film and the book, but having liked what I have seen so far I am willing to approach it with an open mind.

Below are the top five reasons why I am actually looking forward to Let Me In.

1. The cast. Great character actors like Elias Koteas and Richard Jenkins alongside two of the best child actors working today. Smit-McPhee was great in The Road and Moretz has the ability to be as good as Natalie Portman or Jodie Foster.

2. At no point does it look like Twilight.

3. I'm sure that I saw Abby wearing a KISS T-Shirt at one point in the trailer

4. I have just discovered that Michael Giacchino (who won an Oscar for Up) is doing the score for the film.

5. I can pretty much guarantee that Let Me In won't have such ridiculous CGI cats in it.

I must state that my feelings towards the film have in no way been affected by the fact I have a Let Me In poster signed by Chloe Moretz hanging on my wall. Honest!

P.S. You can probably expect a similar post just before David Fincher is ready to release his version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.

A dream realised...

2010-09-17T04:52:00.000-07:00

The (500) Films Of Empire challenge is finally over and not only did I manage to complete it but I have fulfilled another ambition of mine which was to write for Empire Magazine, which I have now achieved (sort of).
The lovely Helen O'Hara has been kind enough to post an article where I talk about the whole challenge; highlights, best film, sleepless nights, etc.
You can check it out here - http://www.empireonline.com/empireblogs/empire-states/post/p931

Now all I need to do is get a permanent job writing for them. That is the next challenge ;-)

Dallas's Top 30 Films of All Time

2010-09-16T09:54:00.000-07:00

Now that the dust has begun to settle on my epic (500) Films of Empire challenge, it is time to pick my own personal list of the greatest films of all time.

Since the challenge started as one of those things to do before I was 30, I feel it appropriate to pick the 30 films that I believe are the best according to my reviews over the past year and the 30 films I would be happy to watch again and again.

1. Casablanca

2. Raiders Of The Lost Ark

3. The Shining

4. The Empire Strikes Back

5. Jaws

6. The Big Lebowski

7. Back To The Future

8. Star Wars: A New Hope

9. The Godfather

10. Moulin Rouge

11. Alien

12. Psycho

13. Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy

14. Heat

15. Toy Story/Toy Story 2

16. Die Hard

17. Taxi Driver

18. When Harry Met Sally

19. Shaun Of The Dead

20. North By Northwest

21. On The Waterfront

22. Breathless (A Bout De Souffle)

23. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind

24. High Fidelity

25. Fight Club

26. Predator

27. Evil Dead 2

28. The Dark Knight

29. Grosse Pointe Blank

30. Airplane

(500) Films of Empire - Day 365 - The End

2010-09-15T17:10:00.000-07:00

1 - The Godfather - 5 stars
So yes my earlier confession was true. The general manager of The Belmont Picturehouse had never seen "the greatest film of all time". Shocking!
But that crime against cinema was finally forgiven tonight as I completed the most epic of epic film challenges as (500) Films of Empire came to its conclusion.
And what a way to end. Over 100 people, including my dad and friends, came along to screen 1 at 8.00 to join me in watching the number one film on the list, the daddy, The Godfather.
Annoyingly due to the way this challenge has worked out, I have actually watched the trilogy out of sequence, watching part 3 then part 2 and finally the original... but is it the best?
My review of The Godfather Part 2 gave the film five stars, and it is widely regarded as a sequel that is better than the original. But this blog doesn't deal with what other people think but what I think.
And upon my initial viewing, I would say that I prefer The Godfather.
That might be due to the fact that without having seen this one, certain elements of Part 2 might not have had the same emotional resonance, but perhaps it is because it has a more complete story and it is a fabulous piece of filmmaking.
It has a really beautiful look thanks to the cinematography. I love the look and feel that films had during the seventies.
The story is compelling and never drags inspite of a running time of just under three hours. It charts the fall of the 'Don' aka Marlon Brando and the rise of Michael Corleone to take over his position as the head of the family.
Brando is superb, and the puffed out cheeks and hushed voice work perfectly when combined with his physical presence to create a man who can be softly spoken but still command respect.
I had previously said that Pacino's best peformance was in Godfather Part 2, but he is even better in this one. His character goes on an even bigger arc, starting off as the brother who has no part in the 'family business' but ends up in charge and the new 'Godfather'. The scene in Louis's restaurant where he has to kill two men is the key turning point and everything you need to know is right there in Pacino's eyes. Also he doesn't really shout at all in the film!
Acting is terrific right across the board and Sofia Coppolla is MUCH better in this film than in part 3, playing the role of the baby being christened perfectly ;)
Speaking of Part 3, I might have to change my grading of the film now that I realise that the scene in the opera house intercut with the mob hits was just recycled from this film.
Certainly one of the best films ever made, if not the best.
Certainly a fitting end to the challenge with every bursting party poppers at the end of the film to celebrate the achievement.
Now that it is all over, would I do it all again? Let's just say it would take "an offer he can't refuse" to make me do it!

Days remaining - 0 Films remaining - 0

(500) Films of Empire - A Confession!

2010-09-15T09:00:00.000-07:00

I have been harbouring a dark secret this past year and now is the time to reveal it...

I have never seen The Godfather!

This crime against cinema will finally be rectified tonight. Phew!

Dallas

A couple of thank yous

2010-09-15T06:18:00.000-07:00

Well, tonight is the big night. The culmination of one year of my life attempting to complete (500) Films of Empire.
Inspired by Julie & Julia and desperate to find the cinematic equivalent, it started out as a bit of a laugh, one of those things to do before you're 30, but it has grown into an obsession that has taken over my life. I've basically given up having a social life for the past year due to having to watch films instead of hanging out with my friends, and as for the dating game... forget it.
I certainly know what my next challenge will be... find a date!
It has been 365 very long days during this challenge and the time spent watching all 500 films will have amounted to 59832 minutes or the equivalent of 41.6 days doing nothing but watching movies.
There have been some tremendous highs (Cannes, Empire Movie-Con, watching Alien at the Duke of York's in Brighton) and some lows (lack of sleep, ongoing frustration at work, Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull).
As I gear up towards the final screening tonight, I just want to take a minute to thank a few people who have helped out during this quest.

Thanks to:
Helen O'Hara, Chris Hewitt and Ian Freer from Empire Magazine; Lovefilm for making sure I managed to get most of the films I needed; Matty at Beak Street for designing the awesome poster; my programmer Emily for getting a few of the films on at The Belmont; Scott and Graham for getting me Heimat for my birthday; Sam, Louise, Andy and the rest of the Cannes In A Van crew; Jon and the team at Duke Of York's; the Movie-Con Forumites (there are too many to mention but include Ethanial, Odddaze, Space Cowboy, nclowe, janenotvictoria, etc); all the tweeps and bloggers for their support and kind words; the staff and regulars at The Belmont for lending me the odd DVD; my parents for not disowning me through such a ridiculous challenge; my friends for putting up with hardly seeing me in the past year, I'll make up for that on October 2nd!

I'm sure I'll have missed out someone imprtant but I'l do a full debriefing and analysis of the whole challenge over the weekend after I've taken a couple of days off to recover from the madness!

(500) Films of Empire - Day 364

2010-09-14T09:36:00.000-07:00

2 - Raiders Of The Lost Ark - 5 stars
"Asps, very dangerous, you go first"
Is this the perfect film?
Back in 2003, some film geeks and mathematicians worked out a formula for the 'perfect film' and decided that Toy Story 2 was the ultimate film (based on films released in the nineties).
The perfect film would be made up of: action 30%, comedy 17%, good v evil 13%, love/sex/romance 12%, special effects 10%, plot 10% and music 8%, suggested Sue Clayton, a director and screenwriting lecturer for the University of London and the British Film Council.
I would argue that Raiders is probably the most perfect film ever made. Plenty of action (the truck chase is outstanding, Ford's fist fight with Pat Roach and a aeroplane propeller, and all achieved without CGI), some comedy (Nazi monkeys, Indy's dry sense of humour), good vs evil (Indy vs Nazis), love/sex/romance (Indy and Marion, with the highlight being the scene where she tends to his wounds. "where doesn't it hurt?", "here" pointing to his elbow so he gets a kiss), special effects (melting Nazis for crying out loud), plot (a story that zips along with never a wasted moment), and finally music (you can't go wrong when you have John Williams doing the score).
"It ain't the years honey, it's the mileage".
Thankfully 19 years on, Raiders is still as enjoyable as it was back in 1981. There is probably not a more purely enjoyable film anywhere on this list.
This is Harrison Ford's best performance, totally nailing the charming rogue who single handedly makes archaeology cool. He has an old school movie charm andbalances the tough guy action with a dry sense of humour and the ability to woo the women.
Indiana Jones is up there with Bond as cinema's greatest action hero. Similar to a Bond film, it even has an opening scene with Indy on a different adventure. That iconic scene with the idol and the boulder perfectly sets the tone for the film and provides more thrills in 10 minutes than most modern Hollywood films.
Spielberg and Lucas triumphed with their salute to the B Movies of the 30's and I'm happy to see that this film still remains untouched by their hands and turned into a CGI special edition. The reason that it works so well is that it feels real. All the stunts are performed in the camera and when Ford takes a punch it looks like it hurts.
We screened it here at The Belmont a couple of years ago and it was the first time I had seen the full uncut film with full melting nazis and Indy swearing. Those bits never made it onto the BBC Sunday afternoon versions I was used to. It was one of the best screenings I've ever been to.

Days remaining - 1 Films remaining - 1

(500) Films of Empire - Day 363

2010-09-13T15:08:00.000-07:00

3 - The Empire Strikes Back - 5 stars
I can tell you that if every year between 1985 and 1998 I had been asked to name my favourite film, the answer would have immediately been The Empire Strikes Back.
After 1998 I actually started to do film studies at university and have been working at The Belmont for the last seven years, and have developed a much greater knowledge and appreciation of film and therefore my tastes have reached further than just a galaxy far, far away.
But when I was growing up Star Wars was my number one obsession. I had (nearly) all the toys, I would watch the films every weekend, I could visualise every shot, every sound effect, every edit (even to the point I could watch the movie in my head including when the advert breaks would come in on ITV).
Empire was always my favourite. Screw anyone who thinks that Jedi was better.
Empire starts off with the best battle in the trilogy: The Battle of Hoth. It epitomises the struggle between the rebels and the Imperials, as you have tiny speeders going up against the awesome AT-ATs, Dak stupidly using the war cliche "I feel like I could take on the whole Empire myself" = dead man, plus the rebels lose!
It also introduces some great new characters into the story with the cool bad-ass Boba Fett, and Yoda.
My perception of Yoda has changed since viewing the prequel trilogy. Before I thought that Yoda was putting on an act, messing around with Luke when he firsts meets him in the swamp but now I think that Yoda has simply gone a bit bonkers due to spending 20+ years on his own on Dagobah!
The change of director to Irvin Kershner reaps dividends. Lucas always admitted he wasn't a people person and Kershner manages to draw better performances out of the cast, especially Fisher and Ford.
This was the movie that really sealed Harrison Ford's star quality as the romance between Leia and Han Solo was developed, with much of its success due to Leigh Brackett's work on the screenplay. She also wrote the screenplay for The Big Sleep and the banter between the Princess and the "scoundrel" has a whip and a snap of that dialogue that worked so well for Bogart and Bacall.
Their romance results in one of my all-time favourite film moments as Solo is about to be put into carbonite. "I love you"... "I know". Ford's ad-libbed response because he was unhappy with the line as written is just as good as the last-minute change in Raiders. Although Family Guy's response is almost as good.
When I watched this in the cinema in 1997 when the special editions were released, and during that scene and a kid in the row in front of me started to cry and I leaned forward and said "I know how you feel kid, don't worry, I've a feeling he'll be OK".
I was born in 1980 so I have no idea of the frustration that people must have gone through, having to wait for three years to find out how the story concluded and whether or not Darth Vader was telling the truth about his bombshell of a revelation "No. I AM your father!".
It was one of the original twist endings and a truly iconic cinematic moment.
"Empire" had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets." - Dante Hick, Clerks.
That quote perfectly sums up why I love this film so much. It shouldn't be the best one, because it is the middle act in a story and has no real beginning or end, but the fates aligned to produce the greatest science fiction/fantasy film ever made.

Days remaining - 2 Films remaining - 2