Oh God, oh Jesus Christ! You had better keep your Appointment With The Wicker Man

The Wicker Man is a true 'cult' classic, one of the most influential horror films of all time and arguably the best Scottish film ever made.
It is fair to say that the Loch Parry Players production of 'The Whicker Man' takes a fair amount of dramatic licence when it comes to their adaptation of this famous film, yet it is certainly no way near as horrific as the recent Nicolas Cage remake and not a single bee in sight.
An Appointment With The Wicker Man is a play within a play and concerns Rory Mulligan, a TV star from a successful Glaswegian detective series, who steps in at the last minute to play the role of Sgt Howie in a local amateur dramatic company's staging of The Wicker Man.
Rory starts to get frustrated with the lack of professionalism of the cast, the changes to the script (including the addition of a few Broadway style musical numbers), and also the lack of information regarding the mysterious absence of Roger Morgan.
As the opening night grows ever closer, Rory begins to suspect that the Loch Parry Players, led by Finlay Fothergill, have an altogether more sinister use for him as The Whicker Man reaches it's shocking climax.
The style of the amateur production conjures up images of the Sandford Dramatic Society's production of Romeo & Juliet that featured in Hot Fuzz, and it draws favourable comparisons to the Edgar Wright/Simon Pegg film.
Both used the central plot device of The Wicker Man of having an outsider coming into a rural community where everything may not be as it seems, and both successfully managed to balance the humour created by the differences between the parties and creating a growing feeling of unease and suspense as the true nature of the mystery is revealed.
Greg Hemphill (Chewing The Fat, Still Game) and co-writer Donald McCleary have written a script that pays an affectionate tribute to the horror film yet never alienates members of the audience that have never seen it.
Die hard fans will geek out on visual gags and attention to detail in the sets and costumes or in-jokes and references like Lord Summerisle improvising "snails, blah blah, some Walt Whitman pish" which refers to a scene only available on the Director's Cut DVD.
The plot of the play and the order in which the company rehearse their scenes mirrors that of the original, even down to dialogue being appropriated by these new characters, which allows newcomers to follow the story without ever feeling like they are missing out on anything.
This is helped by a very witty script that keeps the gags coming thick and fast with many of them familiar to anyone who has dabbled in the world of amateur dramatics.
All of them are delivered by a cast that is on fire (sometimes literally). Sean Biggerstaff (Harry Potter) is terrific as the big star in a small pond, co-writer Hemphill naturally gives himself the majority of the cracking one liners, "I knew I should never have put on Joseph Fritzel Superstar" and Sally Reid nearly steals the show with a unique reenactment of Willow's seduction dance.
This show is one appointment that you must keep at all costs as the result is a hilarious evening's entertainment for film fans, am-drams and Wicker Men alike.

5 stars

An Appointment With The Wicker Man plays at His Majesty's Theatre from 21st -25th February before touring to Glasgow, Inverness and Dunfermline. It may also appear at The Edinburgh Film Festival later this year.

Films watched in Jan 2012

The Artist - 5 stars
Shame + satellite Q&A - 5 stars
The Artist - 5 stars
The Iron Lady - 2 stars
War Horse - 2 stars
Margin Call - 3 stars
Haywire - 1 star
Goon - 4 stars
The Artist - 5 stars
W./E. - 1 star
The Sitter - 1 star
Coriolanus - 2 stars
The Descendants - 3 stars
J. Edgar - 1 star
Underworld Awakening - 1 star
Margaret - 4 stars
Like Crazy - 3 stars
The Grey - 2 stars

Total number of films watched in Jan - 18

The Championship Celluloid Awards aka Alternative Oscar Nominations

It is Oscar night and while I am up watching the tedium that is Ryan Seacrest insipid interviews on the red carpet I have decided on my own personal winners for the best film, actors, etc from the past year.

Best Picture
The Artist
Drive
Midnight In Paris
Shame
Warrior

Winner: The Artist

Best British Film
Kill List
Shame
Submarine
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Weekend

Winner: Shame

Best Director
Tomas Alfredson (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy)
Michel Hazanavicius (The Artist)
Steve McQueen (Shame)
Nicolas Winding Refn (Drive)
Martin Scorsese (Hugo)

Winner: Michel Hazanavicius

Best Actor
Jean Dujardin (The Artist)
Michael Fassbender (Shame)
Joseph Gordon-Levitt (50/50)
Ryan Gosling (Drive)
Andy Serkis (Rise of the Planet of the Apes)

Winner: Michael Fassbender

Best Actress
Olivia Colman (Tyrannosaur)
Rooney Mara (The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo)
Anna Paquin (Margaret)
Meryl Streep (The Iron Lady)
Michelle Williams (My Week With Marilyn)

Winner: Olivia Colman

Best Supporting Actor
Benedict Cumberbatch (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy)
Nick Nolte (Warrior)
Alan Rickman (Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 2)
The Rock (Fast and Furious 5)
Corey Stall (Midnight In Paris)

Winner: Nick Nolte

Best Supporting Actress
Jessica Chastain (The Help)
Marion Cotillard (Midnight In Paris)
Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids)
Carey Mulligan (Shame)
Vanessa Redgrave (Coriolanus)

Winner: Jessica Chastain

Best Original Screenplay
50/50
The Artist
Margaret
Midnight In Paris
Shame

Winner: The Artist

Best Adapted Screenplay
Drive
Moneyball
The Skin I Live In
Submarine
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Winner: Moneyball

Best Cinematography
The Artist
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
Shame
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Tree Of Life

Winner: Shame

Best Original Score
The Artist
Drive
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Winner: The Artist

Best Visual Effects
Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes

Winner: Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes

Best Documentary
Senna

Winner: Senna

Best Animated Film
Rango

Winner: Rango

Best Foreign Language Film
I Saw The Devil
Little White Lies
The Skin I Live In

Winner: The Skin I Live In

Best Newcomer
Jessica Chastain
Tom Cullen
Tom Hiddleston

Winner: Tom Hiddleston

Shame - review

Brandon is a handsome thirtysomething working in New York in an unspecified job with a fancy apartment.  On the outside it seems he has everything, but in fact it is all a mask that he projects to cover up some deep seeded issues.

From that brief description you could say that Brandon has a lot in common with another cinematic/literary character... Patrick Bateman.
In American Psycho, Bateman mask of sanity covered up psychotic tendencies and the film/book was a vicious attack on the materialism of the Eighties.
Shame's protaganist Brandon's obsession though isn't murder but sex.  Which if recent reports and television shows are to be believed is becoming an increasingly common, serious and relevant addiction.
Whether it is hiring escorts, a one night stand, online sex forums, magazines, dvds or downloading gigabytes of pornography onto his office computer or masturbating in the shower, Brandon does everything to keep his sexual urges at bay. 
However the carefully constructed wall he has built up to shield himself from any form of outside connection comes tumbling down with the unexpected arrival of his sister Sissy, who has her own set of problems.
Steve McQueen (not that one) has crafted a truly haunting piece of cinema that holds a mirror up to Brandon (and in some respects the audience).  It is an incredibly beautiful film to look at, (his shot construction and framing is impeccable, whether it is a tracking shot following Brandon jogging along 31st Street or an unmoving camera capturing an argument that suddenly exposes a tear on Sissy's face), but there is also a coldness and detachment to it that never allows the sexual imagery to become erotic or titillating.  It provides us with no feeling of joy in the same way that Brandon can never achieve, no matter how hard and consistently he tries.

Fassbender bares all as Brandon (both metaphorically and literally) and it would be fair to say that from the evidence of the opening scene, Michael certainly has nothing to be, ahem, ashamed of.  He plays it very internalised to begin with, as Christopher Walken says in True Romance "a game of show and tell.  You don't want to show me nothing but you're telling me everything", but as cracks appear in his mask we get a tear here, a violent outburst there, until his whole world unravels during a flashback sequence over the night's events.
Sure it might not have those grand-standing, scenery chewing moments that Oscar loves so much but it is certainly the most compelling, bravest performance of the year.

Fassbender's acting is elevated by having the sublime Carey Mulligan to bounce off.  I think it is fair to say that when we are first introduced to Sissy, Carey has come a long way from Sally Sparrow in Blink (still my all time favourite Doctor Who episode).  From their initial encounter when Brandon finds Sissy in his apartment, it is clear this is not your normal brother/sister relationship.  There is a troubled history between them but McQueen and screenwriter Abi Morgan wisely leave the details up to the audience's imagination.
Like recent sports dramas The Fighter and Warrior, Shame manages to transcend its genre origins to become more than just "the sex addiction movie" by having a gripping family drama at its core.
Sissy is the yin to Brandon's yang (and the win to his wang).  Where Brandon is a very internal person, Sissy wears her emotions on her sleeve.  She is a poster girl for the neurotic, needy and vunerable, perfectly illustrated by her long haunting rendition of New York, New York in a trendy bar.
At one point Brandon attempts to have a normal relationship with a woman at his work but via an uncomfortable dinner date and hotel tryst, it is doomed to fail.  Brandon's redemption however may in fact lie in repairing his relationship with Sissy, but is he too far down the path to self destruction?
Shame is not a film that seeks to provide the audience with any easy answers.  It is a challenging, thought provoking and stunning piece of cinema that will haunt you for days and will require multiple orgasms viewings, and there is certainly no shame in that!
5 stars

The Artist - review

There's an old saying in Hollywood, that they "don't make 'em like that anymore".  Thankfully it seems that they do.  It's name is The Artist and it is absolutely glorious.

I was initially taken aback but upon reflection, in a year where audiences have been inundated with sequels, prequels and the diminishing returns of 3D, it turns out to be no surprise that the best film of 2011 is a black and white, silent film celebrating a bygone era of Hollywood.
Just like one of my other favourite films of this year, Midnight In Paris, it is a nostalgic look at the "Golden Age" of the twenties.  The Artist blends together elements of Singin' In The Rain, A Star Is Born and Sunset Boulevard to tell the story of George Valentin (Jean Dujardin), one of the biggest stars of silent movies who loses everything (wife, house, fortune) when he refuses to participate in the 'gimmicky fad' that is the talking picture, instead forced to watch the meteoric rise of his one-time protege and true love Peppy Miller (Berenice Bejo).
It has been filmed as a 1920's silent film (shot in 1:33 ratio, black and white, dialogue cards, iris fades and wipes) but where some directors might have gone for the old grainy celluloid look, it was wisely filmed in digital producing one of the best looking black and white movies ever, matched in beauty by a sumptuous musical score by Ludovic Bource which helps to narrate the story and strengthen the emotional beats (just as the live musical accompianment would have done in cinemas during the performance).
Michel Hazanvicius has crafted a loving tribute to the silent era but is not afraid of defying conventions resulting in one of the most startling and memorable scenes of the year.  It is an absolute delight and involves a glass and a table.  It doesn't sound like much but trust me, it is.
There is always a danger that this type of project could fall into the realms of spoof or pastiche but the performances of the central duo Dujardin and Bejo prevent that, providing the film with a generous abundance of heart.

Dujardin pitches his performance just right.  He never resorts to the "shameless mugging" that silent stars were accussed of, instead finding the right balance of old school movie star charisma that slowly crumbles away to reveal the sad, broken man inside, able to switch between comedy and tragedy with ease.  One of his most delightful moments is when he "gets into character" before filming.
Bejo I imagine, like her character Peppy in the film, is destined for great things in Hollywood.  She radiates star quality and lights up the screen whenever she appears.
Together they have a tangible winning chemistry that is in abundance during the scene where they are filming for the first time.  You can see the connection and attraction between them growing, take after take.
What I loved most about The Artist is that whilst it is an homage to the silent movie, it is also a celebration of the power of cinema and it took me on a nostalgic trip down memory lane as to why I fell in love with movies in the first place.

A tap dance reminds me of Gene Kelly, a staircase featured in Blade Runner, a breakfast montage reminiscent of Citizen Kane, Valentin's outfit during a swordfight reminds me of Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride and the use of Bernard Herrmann's Scene D'Amour stirs up thoughts of Hitchcock and Vertigo.
Normally this kind of thing can be distracting.  I for one love a good Wilhelm Scream but when it pops up in a film, I am taken out of it for a moment and remember that I'm watching a film. 
But with The Artist it is a movie about the movies, a celebration of a medium that can captivate audiences, take them on an emotional rollercoaster, transport them from the dullness of their everyday lives and take them on a magical journey, albeit just for a couple of hours.
And if The Artist wants to wishes to take me on this journey many, many times over the next few years then all I can say is... "With Pleasure".

5 stars

New Year's Eve - review

I didn't think it was possible for a franchise to be more cynical, jaded and unfunny than the spoof "insert genre" Movies e.g Scary Movie, Epic Movie, etc, but it seems that Garry Marshall is trying his hardest with the Love Actually-inspired ensemble film centred around a public holiday theme because after Valentine's Day, he is bringing us New Year's Eve.
Do you know what the problem with New Year's Eve is, or as us Scots call it Hogmanay? Everybody makes such a big deal about this one particular night, a lot of time and effort go into making these lavish plans and it gets hyped up to such a degree that it normally turns out to be something of a disappointment.
The same goes for this movie which easily grabs the top spot in my Worst Films of 2011 list. A film that is so unfunny and hard-going that it should have been called Slog-manay!
(that bad pun is officially funnier than anything in the film).
To try and sum up the "plot" of the movie, several A-List actors with clearly nothing better to do sign up for 20 minutes of screen time to solve some form of romantic problem whilst people sponsored by Nivea and a giant poster for Sherlock Holmes 2 (also distributed by Warner Bros and released on 16th Dec) worry about a malfunctioning ball in Times Square.
During two turgid hours we get to see the following:

• Hilary Swank, in a plotline cut from Boys Don't Cry, spends time worrying about the fact that her balls won't drop.


• Michelle Pfieffer get Zac Efron help her cross items off her New Year's Resolution list, the top of which should be to never make a film like this again.


• Robert DeNiro plays a man whose career is slowly dying.


• Ashton Kutcher, clearly depressed about his upcoming divorce, hates New Year's Eve (just like the audience) and spends the film trapped in a lift with that annoying girl from Glee. Why he hasn't commited suicide by the end of the film is anyone's guess.

This sentimental, schmalz-fest Richard Curtis type affair could really have benefitted from just a touch of his class. I'm not the biggest fan of Love Actually but it had moments of genuine warmth such as Andrew Lincoln silently declaring his love to Keira Knightley via cue cards, or as hilarious as Bill Nighy's ageing rocker Billy Mack. Unfortunately the script is completely bland, tired, cliched and devoid of laughs. I don't think I've ever sat in a screening of a romantic comedy where the entire auditorium sat in stoney silence for the entire duration before having to suffer through Ryan Seacrest telling us about the true meaning of New Year's Eve before the "hilarious" outakes during the end credits rub in the fact that the actors had more fun making the movie than we had watching it.
One can only hope that in the sadly inevitable fact that New Year's Eve makes enough money for yet another holiday related rom-com, it is mash-up with Eli Roth's Thanksgiving and all those responsible for this Christmas Turkey of a film are killed off in a variety of vicious, nasty ways so that we won't have to sit through the likes of this again.

1 star

50/50 - review

50/50 is a comedy drama about cancer and just like the disease, the film was always going to be a tough "cell".  Thankfully however, it succeeds due to a delicate balancing act between comedy and tragedy plus a superb lead performance from Joseph Gordon Levitt.

Partly based on the real-life experiences of writer Will Reiser, the film follows 27 year old radio producer Adam Lerner (Levitt) as he struggles to cope with being diagnosed with a rare form of spinal cancer called Schwannoma Neurofibrosarcoma (or as one cancer patient puts it, "the more syllables, the worse it is").  He is helped/comforted, with varying levels of success by his best friend (Rogen), hysterical mother (Huston), bitchy girlfriend (Howard) and therapist (Kendrick).

Finding the comedy in a tragic situation is always going to be a tricky process, for examples the results could be like the Rent spoof 'Everyone Has AIDS' from Team America, but Reiser, like Chandler Bing, knows that humour can be a great defense mechanism and rather than forcing the characters into situations with "hilarious consequences", the majority of the jokes come from Adam's natural responses to coping with his failing health or his buddy Kyle's attempts to use the Big C to his advantage with the ladies, "Nobody wants to have sex with me, I look like Voldermort".
Reiser's script and calm direction from Jonathan Levine do a terrific job in not letting the comedic moments overshadow the seriousness of the story, so that when Adam's condition worsens, we are emotionally invested in whether he survives or not.
Much of this connection with Adam is the result of a terrific central performance by Joseph Gordon Levitt.  Fast becoming one of the best actors of his generation, Levitt makes Adam very down-to-earth and relatable which makes him easy to identify and empathise with.  Plus he is the first cinematic character I know of to bite his fingernails which is a habit that I have (and my friend Linny is constantly trying to break me of!).  It is a very understated performance, not prone to Oscar-worthy showboating scenes that other actors may have been tempted to do, instead opting to slowly draw you into his plight so that when he breaks down in front of his mother just as he is about to go into surgery, his tears are not the only ones flowing in the cinema.
There is fine support from Seth Rogen as Adam's best friend.  Some may complain he is recycling his "schlubbenly, profanity-laden goof" schtick but since he actually helped Reiser through his own cancer struggle, he is essentially playing himself and in my opinion it is the best he's ever been, bringing a warmth and sincerity to the film.
If you were to find fault with the film, the female characters suffer in that the screenplay tends to have them conform slightly to Hollywood stereotypes (bitchy girlfriend, neurotic mother, etc) and the potential romance with the therapist feels a little forced but wisely left largely unconsumated.  Also it is a shame that a potentially interesting family dynamic due to the father's alzheimers but nearly every film this year has already used it (by that I mean Friends With Benefits and Love And Other Drugs).
However these are minor quibbles with a moving film with a lot of heart that can deliver an emotional suckerpunch through all the laughs.  And that should be congratulated as the odds of finding a film that can successfully make you feel the full range of the emotional spectrum are certainly not as good as 50/50.

4 stars