*Full disclaimer - I only went to see Hotel Transylvania 3: A Monster Vacation because I needed something to pass the time before the Ant-Man double bill and the timings of Mission Impossible Fallout didn't work! I then spent the trailers Wikipedia-ing the first two films to remind myself just what happened*
Hotel Transylvania 3 is the third instalment of the animated (or should that be reanimated) franchise that just like a creature of the undead, refuses to die. No matter what the critics say.
It's like the people who produce films starring Adam Sandler and his cohorts Kevin James, David Spade, etc, etc have discovered that the only way to make them palatable these days is to restrict them to voice roles and market them to kids and it seems to be a lucrative pastime.
In British TV sitcom lore, it is known that when a programme has run out of ideas for their characters... they send them on holiday!
*Ahem*
So the plot of the movie sees the staff of Hotel Transylvania head off for some R&R on a cruise from the Bermuda Triangle to the Lost City of Atlantis.
The problem is that this cruise ship is captained by Erica Van Helsing, the great-grand daughter of Abraham Van Helsing, who is determined to destroy all monsters and finish her family's work.
That is the plot but it is pretty irrelevant because it is merely an excuse for Dracula to fall in love with Erica and provide Sandler 90 minutes to do his "oogity boogity boo" child's voice that made him famous in the late Nineties.
Speaking of the Nineties, the Deus Ex Machina that ultimately saves the group from the Big Bad at the end is an annoyingly catchy floor filler that just, maybe just, be remembered by some of the parents in the audience but will certainly go over the heads of the kids.
Cruises are not for everyone. Some people find that the entertainment is dull or cheesy, that there is a sense of confinement and no escape and worst of all, you could spend the majority of your time feeling nauseous.
Sounds about right.
Wes Anderson makes a triumphant return to the Glasgow Film Festival (The Grand Budapest Hotel launched the 2014 festival) and the world of stop motion animation following 2009’s Fantastic Mr Fox, with Isle of Dogs.
Set in Megasaki City, Japan, it follows the story of a young boy Atari who travels to Trash Island to save his dog Spots who has been exiled there along with all canines following an outbreak of Dog Flu by the villainous Mayor Kobayashi, whose family has been holding a grudge against the animals ever since an amusing prologue sequence where their cat-loving ancestor was defeated in battle against the dogs.
Crash landing on the island after stealing a plane, Atari is met by a pack of dogs who will help him on his quest to be reunited with his pet. Even if one of them is resistant to the idea of helping a human, a stray called Chief (voiced by Anderson-newcomer Bryan Cranston).
With that synopsis, so far, so Pixar but that is where the comparisons end… with the exception that Trash Island, built up of cubes of rubbish, looks like it was constructed by Wall-E.
Just like his adaptation of Dahl’s Fantastic Mr Fox, Anderson manages to fill every frame, character and line of dialogue with his unique style and sense of whimsy, quirkiness and humour.
This is clear from the outset when the audience is told that the human characters will speak in their native tongue (Japanese with the odd piece of translation by an interpreter) but all the dogs barks have been changed to English.
This trick puts the audience firmly on the side of the dogs, who are the victims of “fake news” and propaganda from a government who is using the dog flu outbreak to push through their own personal agenda to rid the country of canines before the flu crosses over to the human population. Even to the point of covering up a cure for the disease.
This cover up brings in the second part of the story, which features a group of students investigating the corruption and leading protests against the government, which handily features a foreign exchange student from America (Greta Gerwig, whose tones prove a Great Earwig) to provide a recognisable voice in the fight.
Indeed, the story is much more grown up than Fox and it will be interesting to see what the audience will be for this film as it feels like a more adult tale told within the animation medium.
So in that respects, Anderson has chosen wisely by setting the story in Japan because Studio Ghibli has spent the last few decades making films for families that have very difficult subject matter e.g. My Neighbour Totoro is about loss of a family member, Grave Of The Fireflies is set during the Hiroshima bombing.
However the central crux of the role of man’s best friend in society, the importance of looking after them and rewarding their loyalty is matched with boundless charm and levity by the voice work of a stellar cast of Anderson regulars including Bill Murray, Tilda Swinton and Jeff Goldblum who is hilarious as a gossip-hungry dog whose catchphrase becomes “Did you hear the rumour about…”
Yet it is Bryan Cranston’s scrappy stray Chief who is the Best In Show, going on an arc that is as epic as Noah’s, and all of it is believable thanks to Cranston’s vocal performance.
Also, as strange as it may sound, Isle of Dogs provides what could be 2018’s most flirtatious and sexiest scene of the year… between two stop motion animation dogs as Chief is introduced to show dog Nutmeg voiced by Scarlett Johannson.
But that is just a credit to the outstanding work of the animators and puppet designers who handcrafted each animal to a level of believability that the audience forget they are watching an animation.
The detail on each individual dog is astounding and helps in providing each with its own sense of character and identity.
You know that a filmmaker has achieved the desired effect when an entire auditorium collectively “Awwwws” at the sight of five newborn puppies on screen. Yes, hundreds of people audibly reacting to a puppy made out of plasticine and fur.
The design of the characters and settings provides a Kurosawa feel to the movie, enhanced by Alexandre Desplat’s wonderful score that makes great use of Taiko drumming.
Deftly walking the tightrope of Eastern and Western influences, Anderson has bred a film of the highest pedigree that must already be the favourite to win the Best Animated Film at next year’s Oscars.
Just like the play on words in the title, even the most ardent cat person will come out of Isle Of Dogs boldly exclaiming “I love dogs!”. You would be barking mad to miss it!
One minute into Nick Park's new Aardman animation Early Man, a meteor hits the Earth killing off the dinosaurs yet leaving cavemen alive and miraculously unharmed with a football shaped meteorite to covet and play games with.
Not only does that meteor wipe out two dinosaurs (revealed in the end credits to be called Ray and Harry, in one of the film's few deft touches) but any chances of a fish-out-of-water storyline where a Stone Age Caveman must struggle to interact with the dawning of a new Bronze Age are also gone in sixty seconds.
For Early Man is actually nothing more than a prehistoric tribute to the Beautiful Game. It's no coincidence that the film lasts 90 minutes, the same length as a match.
Even if the takeaway from the first couple of minutes could be that the only people interested in football are neanderthals, it is clear that Park has an affection for football. One can even deduce his favourite team is probably Arsenal given that the characters who is the most proficient at the sport is called Goona.
There was certainly huge potential here. The primitive Stone Age vs the wealth of the Bronze Age in a match for the valley? It's an underdog story as strong as Leicester City's in the Premiership.
An early scene in the Bronze Age market with shops like Flint Eastwood and food stalls like Jurassic Pork showcased gags are sharp as flint and potential for jokes about the early men adapting to this new age but they are shown the red card in a game of two halves in favour of tropes such as training montages and bad sports puns as tired and old as the savages playing the game.
Talented voices like Tom Hiddleston (doing his best French Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail) give it their best shot but they are in a league of their own and let down by a script that is second division at best.
Aardman had a open goal in front of them. Instead Early Man is sent for an early bath! 1 star
This is not the Postman Pat I know. For one thing, gone is the quaint stop motion animation, replaced with very cheap looking computer animation. Secondly, Postman Pat no longer works for the Royal Mail instead employed by a company called the Special Delivery Service... the perils of privatisation I guess.
The transfer from the small to silver screen requires something a little bigger than a misplaced parcel or lack of correct postage and so Pat doesn't receive his bonus he enters a talent competition run by Simon Cowbell (my sides) to win a holiday to Italy for his wife as a late honeymoon (but they have a young son... how bad is the pay at SDS?), meanwhile a devious young executive seeks to replace the entire workforce with robots to save money... and presumably take over the world.
At times it was hard to work out who this movie was aimed at. Parents taking their young kids to the cinema to see it would probably have been kids themselves when the first series came out in the Eighties but would they get all the random science fiction movie references from films such as Forbidden Planet, 2001 A Space Odyssey, Westworld and even Russ Meyer's Faster Pussycat Kill Kill.
Or the bit where the family enjoy reading The Postman Always Knocks Twice. Because that is an appropriate book to read to your young child?!
The most puzzling aspect of the film is that while Stephen Mangan provides the voice of Pat, his singing voice is that of Ronan Keating... Who appears as himself just ten minutes prior to Pat's singing performance. They're the same voice?! How does Simon not notice this?! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!!!
If you want my advice, don't even bother waiting for this film on DVD as this is one Postman who certainly doesn't deliver.
